Ferri's Stream O'Jokes

[ferri]

[Advocate]

WHERE WOULD YOU BE IF:


YOU HAVE ALL THE MONEY YOUR HEART DESIRES... YOU HAVE NO WORRIES .


YOU COME HOME AND THE FINEST MEAL IS AWAITING YOU... YOUR BATHWATER HAS BEEN RUN...


YOU HAVE THE PERFECT KIDS...



YOUR PARTNER IS AWAITING YOU WITH OPEN ARMS AND KISSES...


SO WHERE WOULD YOU BE...











IN THE WRONG HOUSE......

I'd be home, for sure!

Here's one for you:

If I had fifty bucks in one pocket, and $62 in the other, what would I have?
















I'd have somebody elses' pants on!

[ferri]

hey wait! i think those are my pants.

[ferri]

this made me laugh until i cried.

you'll see a pic at the top of the page, just click the arrow when you get to the part in the letter.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/trave ... etter.html

[Born_again]

Gosh! I feel so embarrassed for the complainant. Fancy not being able to recognise some of the finest culinary delights of your own country. I guess the Caste system had this guy pegged in the fried Bombay sewer rat sector.

[ferri]

the chef should get something for creativity i think. or something...

[ferri]

I was clinging for dear life to the face of the cliff.
As the rescue team approached one of the guys shouted "Whatever you do, don't look down".
So I started smiling.

[ferri]

Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens.
They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I just graduated from the University of Kentucky School of Law and I believe in the power of Justice to intervene on the behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and again, nothing happens.
Again, they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.
The last one (you know it), a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya'll ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."

[strwbrrydvl]

[Glacier]

I was clinging for dear life to the face of the cliff.
As the rescue team approached one of the guys shouted "Whatever you do, don't look down".
So I started smiling.

I don't get it.

[ferri]

they told me not to look down. you know, you tell people not to do that if they hanging off the edge of a building when you are rescuing them. that way they don't see how high up they are and panic.
or...don't look so down! unhappy like...lol

[Glacier]

Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens.
They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I just graduated from the University of Kentucky School of Law and I believe in the power of Justice to intervene on the behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and again, nothing happens.
Again, they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.
The last one (you know it), a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya'll ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."

I posted this one on my friend's Facebook, and was immediately scolded by two different people on how completely unfunny this joke was for perpetuating the "dumb blonde" stereotype. LOL, the funny thing is I posted it because my friend is an electrical engineer. He also has a degree in philosophy, so I guess I should have been more sensitive...

[ferri]

lol oh brother. if it's any comfort to you i tell blonde jokes and mail them to my sister all the time. she's blonde. she loves them.

[ferri]

LOL i just listened to this. poor, poor man...

[ferri]

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak feeling chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.