Questions you just can't answer

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Re: Questions you just can't answer

Postby Queen K » Jun 20th, 2017, 5:32 am

One to talk wrote:If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?

How is it that this poster has seven posts but is "liked in 8 posts"?

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Andm if you throw a cat out a window, it makes you a total jerk.
Here I thought there was nothing lower than a snakes belly in a rut in a ditch. I was wrong.
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Re: Questions you just can't answer

Postby UhHuhYeahSure » Jul 14th, 2017, 12:35 pm

Every question can be answered, just maybe not correctly...

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?
Nair comes from chimpanzee saliva. Done dwell on it.

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Because so many people have Arts degrees or work for the government.

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
Because they know you will HAVE to pay in sufficient funds.

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why not? Can't hurt...umm...won't hurt..well, just for a second.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
There's more than 4 there smarty pants!

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
Because it's short for "Lithen, I thpit pronounth."

What is the speed of darkness?
7.2 Look it up.

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?
Not if you place them on their stomach under a heavy blanket...Sorry. Too soon?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
Only Environment Canada can answer that. Don't hurt yourself with it. We MUST believe them. Or the CBC. It's beyond us.

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
My luggage has a skid plate. It's coming. Wait for it once we reach Mars.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Because they have no lives and too much pocket money. Move on...

Did you ever stop and wonder.......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'
It was a guy who got cut off shortly after his first kid arrived.

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'
He better make sure the next thing was an egg!

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Obviously there are many indecent human beings.

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
What light?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
We all did at one point but we outgrow it.

Why does your Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
They do!? So what about his video camera?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !
No. There are DRAFs (digitally rendered animated figures). They also have fingers and no genitals. What up on that?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
Easy. Terrifying.

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
So what is employment insurance?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Generally yes but let's keep religion out of this.

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Try it in Swahili. Doesn't work.

Stop singing and read on......

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Of course they do. They can't spell!

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Listerine buddy. Twice a day. Smart dog.

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Sure, just like the crosswalk button and the bell on the reception desk of a Canadian government office!
Everything I say to you is a lie. And that's the truth. Except this time.
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