Roadside Memorials - What do you think?

[Osoyoos_Familyof4]

Do you think they are acceptable, and if so for how long?

Who should get the right to take it down and under what circumstances?

What are the limits to content in the memorials (if any)?

There was an occasion in Osoyoos recently where a roadside memorial was moved from the side of the road by a new staff member of the town who was cutting the grass. I'm quite sure he didn't mean to offend, it was in his way and he felt he was cleaning up the meridian in general. There was a rather large uproar by some people and the memorial was then replaced.

And the tricky thing here is that there seems to be no way to have this discussion without being considered an insensitive jerk if you fall on the side of removal being okay.

There is a roadside memorial coming into Oliverr from the north that even has a solar light on it along with other whirligigs.

So, what say the rabble?

[GordonH]

As a kid I remember traveling along Mara Lake on hwy 97a, this was before MOTI tried to straighten parts of the road. That stretch of highway had a hell of a lot of white crosses, once I found out what they meant. As a kid it made me rather nervous traveling that part of highway.

in my personal opinion there should be a time frame, something under a 1 year (1 year maximum).

[Dizzy1]

Cemeteries are the appropriate venue for making homage to lost loved ones. its one thing to setup a memorial tree, or bench, etc. But all the flowers, teddy bears, lights and whatever else should be kept in the cemetery.

[Osoyoos_Familyof4]

Ya, thanks Gordon. This particular memorial was pretty close to the one year mark.

The one I was speaking of in Oliver is several years old I think.

I really appreciate that this is an issue with lots of raw feelings from some people. But I didn't appreciate that there seemed to be no way to even talk about them.

[kodadog]

This is an interesting topic.
I remember not that long ago....a Summerland municipal worker completely cleared out the Summerland Canyon View cemetery of EVERY single flower and memento placed by people who cared about their deceased loved ones.

The cemetery was transformed overnight from a beautiful, peaceful resting place into a disgusting concrete grass meadow. Seriously, the ENTIRE cemetery was emptied of EVERYTHING except the gravestones. The municipality then informed the residents of Summerland that they could pick up their "trinkets" by Thursday or they would be thrown away, and then added insult to injury by stating that only fresh flowers were allowed at the grave sites from now on & when the flowers died, they would be thrown out too. It was a terribly insensitive thing to do in my opinion. I am still disgusted. Probably more because I have too many family members & friends there than I care to think about.

I see many roadside memorials, I don't know what the answer is to that, families grieve in their own way. I suppose they are placed to remember the last place their loved one took their last breath, and a way to deal with their grief.

[TylerM4]

I don't mind a small tasteful memorial.

Not sure I support a time limit - I'd rather they look at whether it's been maintained. If it's obvious nobody has done any maintenance for a number of months then get rid of it. Also - workers get to move/remove it if it gets in the way of work being done.

[Osoyoos_Familyof4]

I hear you @ dog. But it seems that there ought to be a distinction between a cemetery versus a public roadway. I agree with you about the cemetery.

[Fancy]

Lots of thoughts on this thread:
viewtopic.php?f=23&t=28259

[Anonymous123]

https://www.castanet.net/news/Kelowna/151878/another-ghostly-reminder

[Barney Google]

We've got a number of Roadside Memorials up here along Hwy 33.

Some have been up for years and years others are more recent.

They are reminders and also in some cases a heartbreaking daily reminder of a loss.

I do think that in some instances folks might go over board but it's understandable.

Perhaps if there was a time limit that daily reminder being removed would help some folks heal.

It might be taxing for some who struggle to maintain the upkeep.

I do though really admire the White bike memorial...a chilling reminder at times but almost

a public service.

[Osoyoos_Familyof4]

It's very difficult. Lots of the roadside memorials have become as another poster mentioned, magnets for fake flowers or other soft goods that no matter what look like a tattered mess in not too many days.

[Bunnyhop]

I don't mind seeing roadside memorials at all. They remind me to be a little bit more careful, as someone else lost their life in that spot. If the memorial comforts their loved ones a little, that's great. I've never seen one that I thought was offensive or inappropriate. Whatever helps someone in their grief.

[Gixxer]

Its a distraction, and shouldnt be allowed. Its the only form of death that gets 2 memorial plots, and its very narcissistic of the person that puts one up.

[ToddT]

Its a distraction, and shouldnt be allowed. Its the only form of death that gets 2 memorial plots, and its very narcissistic of the person that puts one up.

Please elaborate how memorializing someone other than yourself is narcissism?

I'm with Bunnyhop, a helpful reminder to be more careful, and if it helps someone grieve I'm all for it.

[Gixxer]

Please elaborate how memorializing someone other than yourself is narcissism?

I'm with Bunnyhop, a helpful reminder to be more careful, and if it helps someone grieve I'm all for it.

Its narcissistic in the sense that a grieving person is using a public place and road way to display the death of their loved one for everyone else to see. What if everyone that lost a loved one to an accident did this? The highways would be endless with roadside memorials.