What Made You Smile Today?

A potpourri of off-topics.

Re: What Made You Smile Today?

Postby sobrohusfat » Oct 26th, 2018, 2:10 pm

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." - Mark Twain

2 people like this post.
User avatar
sobrohusfat
Lord of the Board
 
Posts: 4372
Likes: 1742 posts
Liked in: 1995 posts
Joined: Jul 1st, 2008, 11:42 pm

Re: What Made You Smile Today?

Postby Bsuds » Oct 27th, 2018, 8:04 am

The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals. We are all familiar with a

- Herd of cows,

- Flock of chickens,

- School of fish

- Gaggle of geese, and

- A Pride of lions.

However, less widely known is:

- A Murder of crows

- An Exaltation of doves

And, presumably, because they look so wise:

- A Congress of owls.

Now consider a group of Baboons.
They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates.........
And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons?

- Believe it or not ... A Parliament

YEP....A PARLIAMENT OF BABOONS!

Pretty much explains everything doesn't it?
Why do they put a round pizza in a square box and then eat it in triangles?

3 people like this post.
User avatar
Bsuds
The Wagon Master
 
Posts: 43526
Likes: 9373 posts
Liked in: 11785 posts
Joined: Apr 21st, 2005, 9:46 am

Re: What Made You Smile Today?

Postby sobrohusfat » Nov 2nd, 2018, 5:56 pm

ropin.jpeg


Why we shoot deer in the wild:
(A letter from someone who wants to remain anonymous, who farms, writes well and actually tried this)


I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up-- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold.

The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it, it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope, and then received an education. The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no Chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined. The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in. I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when ..... I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and slide off to then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head--almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.

It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.

That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp... I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope......to sort of even the odds!!

All these events are true so help me God...An Educated Farmer
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." - Mark Twain

4 people like this post.
User avatar
sobrohusfat
Lord of the Board
 
Posts: 4372
Likes: 1742 posts
Liked in: 1995 posts
Joined: Jul 1st, 2008, 11:42 pm

Re: What Made You Smile Today?

Postby dirtybiker » Nov 5th, 2018, 10:39 pm

This...
https://www.castanet.net/news/Vernon/24 ... -a-century



Eta; Not so much 'the' story, her story...
"Don't 'p' down my neck then tell me it's raining!"

2 people like this post.
dirtybiker
Guru
 
Posts: 7150
Likes: 7636 posts
Liked in: 3382 posts
Joined: Mar 8th, 2008, 6:00 pm
Location: Central OK

Re: What Made You Smile Today?

Postby oneh2obabe » Nov 6th, 2018, 3:19 am

Determined little bugger.

Dance as if no one's watching, sing as if no one's listening, and live everyday as if it were your last.

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.

3 people like this post.
User avatar
oneh2obabe
feistres Goruchaf y Bwrdd
 
Posts: 58790
Likes: 870 posts
Liked in: 6577 posts
Joined: Nov 23rd, 2007, 8:19 am

Re: What Made You Smile Today?

Postby sobrohusfat » Nov 10th, 2018, 9:10 pm

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." - Mark Twain

2 people like this post.
User avatar
sobrohusfat
Lord of the Board
 
Posts: 4372
Likes: 1742 posts
Liked in: 1995 posts
Joined: Jul 1st, 2008, 11:42 pm

Re: What Made You Smile Today?

Postby ferri » Nov 14th, 2018, 3:25 pm

These giant and multi-colored squirrels are so beautiful it’s hard to believe they are real

https://positiveoutlooksblog.com/2018/1 ... QG2D9dokVs

I put them in Google and went to "Images". They're real! :D
“When someone is nasty or treats you poorly, don't take it personally. It says nothing about you, but a lot about them.” ― Michael Josephson

Catsumi likes this post.
User avatar
ferri
Forum Administrator
 
Posts: 45008
Likes: 15150 posts
Liked in: 9628 posts
Joined: May 11th, 2005, 2:21 pm

Re: What Made You Smile Today?

Postby oneh2obabe » Nov 14th, 2018, 3:36 pm

2 Malabar Giant Squirrels deciding who will be top dog

Dance as if no one's watching, sing as if no one's listening, and live everyday as if it were your last.

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.

ferri likes this post.
User avatar
oneh2obabe
feistres Goruchaf y Bwrdd
 
Posts: 58790
Likes: 870 posts
Liked in: 6577 posts
Joined: Nov 23rd, 2007, 8:19 am

Re: What Made You Smile Today?

Postby ferri » Nov 14th, 2018, 6:14 pm

Wouldn't it be great to have a whole herd of these? :D
“When someone is nasty or treats you poorly, don't take it personally. It says nothing about you, but a lot about them.” ― Michael Josephson
User avatar
ferri
Forum Administrator
 
Posts: 45008
Likes: 15150 posts
Liked in: 9628 posts
Joined: May 11th, 2005, 2:21 pm

Re: What Made You Smile Today?

Postby Catsumi » Nov 14th, 2018, 6:43 pm

I have been a fan of Malabar black pepper for some time now but now will add Malabar squirrels to my list.

That fur is desirable. :biggrin:
Make the Cdn wet dream come true. Vote MAD MAX

Like a plague, JT must go!

ferri likes this post.
User avatar
Catsumi
Lord of the Board
 
Posts: 4008
Likes: 4492 posts
Liked in: 3471 posts
Joined: May 24th, 2017, 7:26 pm

Re: What Made You Smile Today?

Postby kgcayenne » Nov 15th, 2018, 8:14 am

removed - by me.
"without knowledge, he multiplies mere words."
Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your kids.
User avatar
kgcayenne
Walks on Forum Water
 
Posts: 13296
Likes: 1949 posts
Liked in: 4078 posts
Joined: Aug 10th, 2005, 5:35 pm
Location: West Kelowna

Re: What Made You Smile Today?

Postby seewood » Nov 15th, 2018, 3:47 pm

No cavities :biggrin:
I am not wealthy but I am rich

2 people like this post.
seewood
Übergod
 
Posts: 1344
Likes: 3058 posts
Liked in: 1359 posts
Joined: May 29th, 2013, 1:08 pm

Re: What Made You Smile Today?

Postby Bsuds » Nov 16th, 2018, 12:49 pm

butt.jpg
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Why do they put a round pizza in a square box and then eat it in triangles?

4 people like this post.
User avatar
Bsuds
The Wagon Master
 
Posts: 43526
Likes: 9373 posts
Liked in: 11785 posts
Joined: Apr 21st, 2005, 9:46 am

Re: What Made You Smile Today?

Postby alanjh595 » Nov 16th, 2018, 12:52 pm

Bsuds wrote:
butt.jpg


:spitcoffee: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I didn't get it until you re-posted it. NOW it is really funny. [icon_lol2.gif]
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
User avatar
alanjh595
Guru
 
Posts: 7230
Likes: 2785 posts
Liked in: 3818 posts
Joined: Oct 20th, 2017, 4:18 pm

Re: What Made You Smile Today?

Postby just popping in » Nov 16th, 2018, 4:13 pm

"Warshing Clothes Recipe" -- imagine having a recipe for this ! ! !
Years ago a Texas grandmother gave the new bride the following recipe:
This is an exact cop ... y as written and found in an old scrapbook, spelling errors and all.

WARSHING CLOTHES
Build fire in backyard to heat kettle of rain water. Set tubs so smoke wont blow in eyes if wind is pert.
Shave one hole cake of lie soap in boilin water.
Sort things, make 3 piles
1 pile white,
1 pile colored,
1 pile work britches and rags.
To make starch, stir flour in cool water to smooth, then thin down with boiling water.
Take white things, rub dirty spots on board, scrub hard and boil, then rub colored don't boil just wrench and starch.
Take things out of kettle with broom stick handle, then wrench, and starch
Hang old rags on fence.
Spread tea towels on grass.
Pore wrench water in flower bed. Scrub porch with hot soapy water.
Turn tubs upside down.
Go put on clean dress, smooth hair with hair combs. Brew cup of tea, sit and rock a spell and count your blessings.

From our original 2017 post. ~CR
Photo credit: Mrs. Bostain washing clothes, vicinity of Penland, N.C. ca. 1930
Bayard Morgan Wootten Photographic Collection, University of North Carolina.
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.

Lady tehMa likes this post.
just popping in
Grand Pooh-bah
 
Posts: 2994
Likes: 241 posts
Liked in: 491 posts
Joined: Apr 3rd, 2011, 7:15 pm

PreviousNext

Return to Grab Bag

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: CommonCrawl [Bot] and 0 guests