Angry people

[looking4one]

Couldn't agree more, he's my wife's son from previous marriage and wasn't my call.

Been there and it can sure screw up a relationship too. Had 1 in the basement (hers) and 1 living in a trailer in the driveway. (mine) Not a fun situation.

I have also been in a similar situation. It did not turn out well either. It took a divorce and several years to prove that I was right.

[mexi cali]

Couldn't agree more, he's my wife's son from previous marriage and wasn't my call. My own son is being very understanding about this and could be angry given I told him to go to the gospel mission when a similar thing happened to him years ago. Without a doubt one of the hardest things I've ever had to do and caused many sleepless nights. Would have been much easier just to let him stay. It's damn right scary to think your kid is homeless. Fortunately my son found a couch to crash and thanks me for it now because the place he stayed was with a bunch of angry drug addled men in thier 20's which was a foreshadow of what his life would be like if he continued to screw around.

Wife now regrets her decision and is giving him until the end of the month, hopefully she follows though. What might help in this regard is the other night he told her, "I didn't choose to be born, that was your decision and I'm your responsibility." That may have fit when he was a child but not at 27, was a turning point for her because she had no idea the level entitlement her son had before that comment.

Wow. That would have taken uber courage. Good for you though and it obviously worked out OK.

Your wife needs to take a page from that book. It's really hard for me to read stories like yours because I can just picture this kid having seen many of them over the years. Parents that enable their kids are doing them a life long disservice.

And too his "I didn't choose to be born" crapola? I like the way Bill Cosby (the past version) put it. "I brought you into this world and I can take you out."

Hard to be a step parent because your influence is limited but hang in there man. It sounds like Mommas comin round and if she's anything like my kids momma, to coin another popular phrase (thanks to Russell Peters) "somebodies gonna get hurt real bad!".

[mexi cali]

I have also been in a similar situation. It did not turn out well either. It took a divorce and several years to prove that I was right.

And dammit! You were.

Oh and to Poindexter; There's only 2 days left in the month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then he can make like Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper and "head out on the highway".

[looking4one]

How old is this child?

[Fancy]

That may have fit when he was a child but not at 27,

This the child in question?

[Poindexter]

Yeah he's 27 and he has until the end of July.

Been there and it can sure screw up a relationship too. Had 1 in the basement (hers) and 1 living in a trailer in the driveway. (mine) Not a fun situation.

Without a doubt. We knew this might happen and talked about it in advance hoping to avoid any tension, unfortunately it didn't work. We've both been reminded the hard way that the reason angry people act the way they do can be summed up in three words -- misery loves company.

[looking4one]

You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.

Buddha
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topic ... anger.html

He who angers you conquers you.

Elizabeth Kenny
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topic ... anger.html

I feel for you. It is a very long, hard, row for you to hoe.

Looking4one 2016

Any time you wish to chat, feel free to PM me.

[looking4one]

Yeah he's 27 and he has until the end of July.

I'm sorry, was that a typo? He's 2 7 years old ?

For Gawds sake....time to cut the cord.......kick his *bleep* to the curb!

[Poindexter]

look4one -- I have also been in a similar situation. It did not turn out well either. It took a divorce and several years to prove that I was right.

That's horrible, sorry to hear that. Have an old friend who raised two step kids from young children to young adults only to be cast aside when she divorced thier father in her late 50's. Devastating would be putting it lightly. She never had children of her own because they already had the two so she put everything into these kids -- and now she's alone. Her ex-husband could have taken the high road but decided to head for the ditch and turned his kids against her. How people can be so brutal is beyond me. But she refuses to be angry or bitter and is enjoying life again. As far as I'm concerned if someone can forgive something like that I can muster it up to forgive anyone and I can't think of a more worth while goal to set in life.

[looking4one]

Well then, live with your choices. using children as weapons against another is also wrong. Is this what you fear?
Why enable a 27 year old to continue to believe that he is right and all others are wrong?

[Poindexter]

^^ Oh we've talked about it, I don't mind my own business that well. From what I've read between the lines he has a fear of failure that stops him from doing pretty much anything meaningful. To me it sounds like the greatest excuse for being lazy ever invented.

[looking4one]

Then I would suggest psychoanalysis. Not for you, but for him to get over his fears of failure. Maybe you too, so that you can have a positive influence in his recovery. Good luck.

[Poindexter]

Sorry - changed that post. Late self edit.
Appreciate the advice. Thinking I could use a psychologist right about now too.

[mexi cali]

July? I thought you said the end of the month and that was the month we're in? You really think another 30 days is gong to help this person?

It'll be 25 days of relaxation and 5 days of laying on the guilt to momma.

I know it aint easy man but git er done. Your lives matter too.

[Poindexter]

lol!
I'm actually not sure if he'll last the full month. Found myself getting really angry first thing this morning, not part of my normal routine or part of a balanced breakfast. He pulled another all-nighter gaming, I know this because he doesn't like to wear head phones so I get to hear the odd explosion in the middle of the night. I guess he also got hungry with all his hard work because I woke up to a huge mess in the kitchen, everything left out, a loaf of bread half eaten out of the freezer when one was already out and so many crumbs on the floor I can only assume he used the tile as his plate. Look for some rather tense posts today because I'm ready to loose it. Maybe we should just change this topic to angry step fathers because I've certainly turned it into that.