Angry people

[mexi cali]

When my son was 17 or so, he to was a big gamer and a night owl. We bought him the headphones and he used them because the alternative was no gaming. Ever. Problem solved.

He used to come home late quite often and hit the fridge until I had had enough so I took him out on to the front lawn, told him to look at the house and show me the Dennys sign that he must see and I must be missing because that was how he was treating our home. Problem solved. Coupled that with a new rule that went if you can't be home by 2:00 in the morning (which was generous on my part) don't come home. Problem solved.

He left home twice and returned because of whatever reasons he had at the time and he always knew that his home was always here for him except as a convenience so on episode 3, we told him no matter what happens, you can go anywhere in the world you want but you can't come here. Whatever happens, work it out. Problem solved.

If any of my kids had made the mess that your step son made as you described, I would have taken all of the dishes and the food that was left out and I would have dumped it all on their bed. I did that twice with 3 kids so one didn't have to experience the mess in their bed and the other two never repeated that disrespectful activity. Problem solved.

This kid doesn't take you seriously and he is winning at the expense of your sanity and he is likely causing friction between you and your wife which is unacceptable.

Yo and momma gotta be on the same side, make the hard choice and get him gone. He will never grow up as long as he is allowed not too.

If I am coming on too strong, apologies but it is quite possible that I am as pisssed off as you are.

[kgcayenne]

I'm not angry. I have swift intolerance of douchebaggery.

[OREZ]

Let fury have the hour
Anger can be power

Joe Strummer (the Clash)

LOL

[Donald G]

IMO most anger comes from frustration at not being able to reach a given goal that we consider worthy of being met. Whether that goal be a relationship with another person or facets of life in general.

If one can be honest enough with ones fears or situation, anger can be dissipated. Interestingly the often experienced anger associated to raising children or dealing with PTSD give excellent examples.

[Poindexter]

Things got violent this weekend, he physically attacked both of us when we were questioning how he lost his job on Sunday. Neither of us were hurt but was an we opener how quickly he lost it. Said loss of job wasn't his fault even though he was let go because of threatening a co-worker. Because we weren't buying his explanation he decided to show us what threatening was. He's now at the hospital waiting for a bed in the McNair unit. We were in over our heads, sometimes good intentions aren't enough and professional help is required when someone has anger issues. Hopefully he get the treatment he needs because the next time he flies off the handle he may hurt someone and not just himself.

[Even Steven]

Oh Jeez. Sounds awful.

[Poindexter]

Uneducated analysis is he has narcissistic personality disorder, hides low self-esteem by developing a superficial sense of perfection and behavior that shows a need for constant admiration. When things conflict with this he gets frustrated and fight or flight mode kicks in. A bit like what Donald was eluding to in his post. Hopefully there's help for him at the hospital because he crossed the line with us and wont find anymore help here.

[Even Steven]

Uneducated analysis is he has narcissistic personality disorder, hides low self-esteem by developing a superficial sense of perfection and behavior that shows a need for constant admiration.

In my experience it shows up usually when there's lack of parenting from dad's side and when kid isn't shown boundaries. If his mom showed him attention and love no matter what he does, kid can grow up thinking he's the centre of the universe and can do whatever he wants and get his way. Kids need to be shown boundaries from early age.

It sucks for you because he wasn't your responsibility until very recently and someone else's lack of parenting backfires on you.

[mexi cali]

Sorry it worked out that way. Not the ending anyone would have chosen.

Violence would be the end of it for me. Absolute and unequivocal.

I'm glad no one, even him, was hurt though and that he may be able to get some help with his issues. Violence is a choice and he made it so whatever the repercussions, he owns them.

I feel for the both of you.

Anything you're comfortable with sharing, let me/us know. If nothing else, I can make you laugh. It beats crying.

[Piecemaker]

Uneducated analysis is he has narcissistic personality disorder, hides low self-esteem by developing a superficial sense of perfection and behavior that shows a need for constant admiration. When things conflict with this he gets frustrated and fight or flight mode kicks in. A bit like what Donald was eluding to in his post. Hopefully there's help for him at the hospital because he crossed the line with us and wont find anymore help here.

No help is probably the best help you can give him.

Back to the discussion as to why people are angry, I think some of it has to do with the lack of patience. Lots of people want instant gratification. They want the big paying job and to live life as portrayed by the rich and famous. Hence, the high level of credit card and other debit. The pressures and stressors, the result of their impatience, leads to anger.

[kgcayenne]

Selfishness is another huge factor in today's world.

[Donald G]

With angry people, until you identify the origin or cause of their anger nothing will change. Only after you have identified the origin can you lessen or stop the flow.

Think of sitting at an intersection with one foot on the brake and one foot on the gas. The machine slowly destroys itself due to stress.

Victims of child abuse or severe neglect are classic examples.