Oil company fined
Strata smoking fines tossed
Seeking a wildfire 'hero'
UN workers charged 
Trudeau in Saskatoon 
Doctors protest tax change
$620 million for Ukraine 
5 die crossing channel
Jury finds railway at fault 
Tourism operators struggle 
Nude Beverages sells line
Wealth gap widening
Leafs even series
Cristall gets pro look
Warriors even series in OT
Hozier surprised by #1
Trainor to replace Perry?
Swift breaks Spotify record
Fun with Headlines
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mexi cali
- Guru
- Posts: 9696
- Joined: May 5th, 2009, 2:48 pm
Fun with Headlines
I often see headlines that make me shake my head. Looking at Castanet tonight and it seemed that there were humorous undertones to several of them so I thought "hey, this might be fun".
Feel free to add to this list. It's not like you were doing anything anyway.
Remember; the headlines are real and as they appeared.
CANCER SURGERIES AVOIDABLE; Yes, by not getting cancer.
MOST OF US ARE ILL PREPARED; For getting sick.
DON'T BE AN EASY TARGET; Run around and make it hard to hit you.
SLIP LEADS TO SNATCH; Not even sure what to do with this one. Sounds like a Trumpism though.
$750 FINE FOR KID SEX CRIME; A reasonable amount to encourage kids to engage in this super fun activity.
JAPAN, RUSSIA HOLD TALKS; Unfortunately they don't speak the same language so they just stared at each other.
BEAR MACED IN PARKING LOT; He was just getting out of his car and WHAM! Right in the face. More details to come.
CHRISTY CLARK A DISTANT THIRD; In a two man race.
RANCHERS GO ONLINE; Only to find out they don't have internet service.
PASSED OUT AT DRIVE THRU; He wasn't actually passed out, he just showed up after they closed and got tired of waiting.
THE PROBLEM WITH LECTURES; Is, they're boring.
SEND YOUR LETTERS TO SANTA; Cuz you can trust Canada Post to get them there on time.
Feel free to add to this list. It's not like you were doing anything anyway.
Remember; the headlines are real and as they appeared.
CANCER SURGERIES AVOIDABLE; Yes, by not getting cancer.
MOST OF US ARE ILL PREPARED; For getting sick.
DON'T BE AN EASY TARGET; Run around and make it hard to hit you.
SLIP LEADS TO SNATCH; Not even sure what to do with this one. Sounds like a Trumpism though.
$750 FINE FOR KID SEX CRIME; A reasonable amount to encourage kids to engage in this super fun activity.
JAPAN, RUSSIA HOLD TALKS; Unfortunately they don't speak the same language so they just stared at each other.
BEAR MACED IN PARKING LOT; He was just getting out of his car and WHAM! Right in the face. More details to come.
CHRISTY CLARK A DISTANT THIRD; In a two man race.
RANCHERS GO ONLINE; Only to find out they don't have internet service.
PASSED OUT AT DRIVE THRU; He wasn't actually passed out, he just showed up after they closed and got tired of waiting.
THE PROBLEM WITH LECTURES; Is, they're boring.
SEND YOUR LETTERS TO SANTA; Cuz you can trust Canada Post to get them there on time.
Praise the lord and pass the ammunition