Is marriage a good thing?

[eyepop]

i said maybe.



__________________
Marriage is for them other guys.
(Mickey Rourke:
Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man (1991))

[eyepop]

Check this out...

http://forums.castanet.net/viewtopic.php?p=306449#p306449

indeed!

wise words from a wise man.

"...Too many give up durring those rainy days, not understanding that, if they did marry the right person, sunny days will follow. ..."

that's why one does the 'worrk' first.

so you DO marry the right person.



______________
a wise guy eh?

[JonyDarko]

I agree, he certainly is an exceedingly wise individual. But if love is labour, your doing it wrong.

[AlanH]

Ahhh... to be Hugh Heffner....


lol.

There are three rings to life...

1) The Promise ring.
2) The Engagement ring.
3) The Suffering.

[JonyDarko]

Ahhh... to be Hugh Heffner....


lol.

There are three rings to life...

1) The Promise ring.
2) The Engagement ring.
3) The Suffering.

lol good ol' heff, an American institution if ever there was one.

[eyepop]

Personally I am very much in favour of marriage and committment. Close bonding in families provides a safety net that makes life worth living during the tough times. When you have a strong family you can focus on what is really important .. When families are together the members learn from each other and support each other. .This was the basis of society for thousands of years.. not saying that social benefits are not a positive thing. They just don't replace family..Family starts with a Mom and Dad in the same household.

what's really on your mind Fred?

i thought this was about marriage?

talk to us man,
we're here for you,
we're like a family.




and...life is always worth living with or without family, or friends. don't let it get you down though Fred. we come here alone, we're basically alone, we die alone.

fact of life, and death.



_________________
We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up ev'rybody and sing

Ev'ryone can see we're together
As we walk on by
(FLY!) and we fly just like birds of a feather
I won't tell no lie
(ALL!) all of the people around us they say
Can they be that close
Just let me state for the record
We're giving love in a family dose

[zzontar]

I agree too many people expect the perfect marriage, and in a disposable society it's too easy to say adios instead of working on it... it used to be "for better or worse," now it seems to be "for better or else."

[Triple 6]

Was married, now divorced. Would NEVER do it again. I was young, lost my identity. The minute we were seperated, I went back to my maiden name.

I have nothing against those that do it, those that don't. It's a choice. I don't have kids, none coming, and even if I were to, I'd still say no to marriage.

[eyepop]

amigo,
there's no 'easy' way out of a marriage.

know what's harder than the first year of a marriage??








the last year of a marriage.

[shoo]

In the book, Eat,Pray,Love, the author likens a divorce to being in a car accident every day for two years. I've not been divorced but my best friend went through it a few years back and she agrees with that analogy. You know what it's like being in a car accident,even if you aren't seriously injured. It takes up a big part of your day,and you are usually arguing who's right and who's wrong, not to mention the financial and emotional toll.

However,that said, I've been married to a great guy for 29 years. Marriage is a great source of love,comfort and entertainment!


shoo

[bdbnkr]

I have been married for almost 13years. We married young by today's standards (20). I will not pretend it has been easy but it has been worth it.

Most of our friends have since been married and many of them are now divorced. We get asked alot how we make it work. The answer to that is we "work" at it.

When we took our vows we both took them very seriously... until death means just that. Divorce is not an option we consider. We accept that we are stuck together for life and that means we have two options... 1) be miserable. 2) be happy. We tried the miserable thing a few times. Decided we really didn't like it and chose to be happy instead.

It is funny, most of the people who decided to stay together for the kids and work through the rough bits are usaully still together and immensely happy after the kids have grown up and left the nest (cannot find the link to this statistic but will add it later if I do).

I think we, as a society, have become to casual about marriage. It is almost like many people go into knowing they can leave if it doesn't work out. As a result people do not try hard enough to work through the rough times. I think the Canadian divorce rate supports this statement.

Now do not get me wrong, I know that there are some circumstances in which divorce is justified (abuse, drug and alcohol problems) but do feel that it is used as an easy out by too many people.

[CoffeeCanuck]

I fully believe in marriage. Some have touched on doing the work before getting married and I agree 100% with this. So many people entre into marriage thinking they will be with this person forever, yet do they really know their partner? So many woman focus on their big day, the wedding gown, flowers, pictures, attendants, who is and is not being invited, the reception, honeymoon, etc. instead of focusing on what comes after that one big day....the marriage. Before even becoming engaged, things need to be discussed in great detail such as finances, children, child raising, faith, core values. Many times I find these are not properly discussed and these issues can and often are deal breakers down the line. Is love enough to make two people happy? I don't believe so. I also don't believe that marriage should be 'hard work'. Will there be tough times, of course. But one should be with a person who loves and supports them through the good and bad times, only as a best friend can.

I often ask this question to friends, family and co-workers when I hear they are getting married to their 'soul mate'. It's a very simple and straight forward question that often has a surprising answer. In fact, a co-worker married his 'soul mate' a couple of years ago and I asked him this question.

"If your wife/husband, became afflicted with a disease or was in an accident that would permanently affect their health and/or they ended up in a wheel chair, would you still feel the same about them and love and support them unconditionally?"

My co-worker thought about this for a moment and he looked me in the eye and asked if I wanted an honest answer. Of course I did, and he said without flinching......"no." I simply said to him...."then she is not your soul mate."

I have never married, because of various reasons, though I did come close once, however marriage is indeed something I want to share with my soul mate forever, and I don't mean that lightly.

Marriage is taken far too lightly these days and that greatly saddens me, for we are indeed in a disposable society for the most part.

~D

[JLives]

I'm torn on how I feel on the whole marriage issue. I really feel it is an outdated tradition but it still does hold some appeal for me. I'm not so sure humans as animals are meant for lifetime monogamy. I've been with the same guy for 8.5 years now and we have two kids together and I truly feel partnered with this person. That is enough for me. I don't see how a ceremony can change that or would contribute to it at all. The only good reason we can really see for getting married is so we can all have the same last name as right now the kids have mine and maybe some new kitchen stuff from the family . There's something to be said for the proposal and wedding day too of course but I think it's more the romance of the tradition for me as I feel I already have a spouse.

[Smuckers]

I believe in marriage. I used to be of the mind set that being married wouldn't change things between two people in a commited realationship - then I got married! It has been an amazing experience. We have been married for almost 11yrs and together for almost 19.

I really believe that I married my best friend. I have never met anyone who makes me laugh as much or as hard. He knows me better and judges me less than any person I have ever met, including my parents. I can't tell anyone exactly what changed or why it's so different. I know that it sounds strange. It's not always easy but we have a lot of mutual respect and feel the other person deserves to have a marriage that is built on integrity and respect. Not much does nowadays, so we think it's important.

However, I don't believe marriage is for everyone. It's a very personal choice. Truth be told I never understood people never gettting married to a person, but then having children together. Nothing ties you to someone you can't stand like having kids.

[Piecemaker]

My experience is similar to that of Smuckers.

"I believe in marriage. I used to be of the mind set that being married wouldn't change things between two people in a commited realationship - then I got married! It has been an amazing experience...
I really believe that I married my best friend. I have never met anyone who makes me laugh as much or as hard. He knows me better and judges me less than any person I have ever met, including my parents. I can't tell anyone exactly what changed or why it's so different. I know that it sounds strange....We have a lot of mutual respect and feel the other person deserves to have a marriage that is built on integrity and respect."

I don't know if it's because we're both "mature" (around the age of 50) or that we just don't give a darn 'bout much, but we both find our marriage easy and not any work at all. We treat each other well all the time. Our marriage has been the best thing for both of us.
(My husband is a treasure, he does the grocery shopping...and I find everything he misplaces--glasses, keys--and cut his hair so he doesn't have to pay a barber...)