The Bible Explained - in three easy words

Is there a god? What is the meaning of life?

The Bible Explained - in three easy words

Postby Thinktank » Nov 28th, 2017, 6:04 am

Good news everyone. If you've ever read about all the killing, lying, stealing and miracles written in the bible and wondered "what does it all mean?" for the first time ever, you don't have to go to a group of white guys in New York who are sitting on one billion dollars of real estate to get the bible translated. (the JWs) You don't even have to go to a group of eighty "cardinals" mostly white guys in Rome sitting on billions and billions of dollars of real estate to be able to understand what God wrote in the bible. You might have been thinking the whole bible is about some valuable real estate the size of El Salvador sitting between Egypt and Syria that was promised to some chosen people, and now they can't stop killing people over that real estate. You don't even need one individual preacher in the Okanagan who is trying to pay off one small piece of real estate - a million dollar home - to explain the bible to you.

Nope - now, for the first time ever, you can understand the bible - yourself. ...thanks to me, who will tell you what it's about, in three simple words.

LIVE LIKE-A BUDDHIST


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Ukraine is broke, and undertook a war on that portion of the country that provided 30% of GDP. Now a draft, for an army, for a war, for a government that will - get this - implement IMF/EU *austerity*.
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Re: The Bible Explained - in three easy words

Postby youjustcomplain » Nov 28th, 2017, 8:42 am

Thinktank wrote:Nope - now, for the first time ever, you can understand the bible - yourself. ...thanks to me, who will tell you what it's about, in three simple words.

LIVE LIKE-A BUDDHIST



Is it the first three words?

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Re: The Bible Explained - in three easy words

Postby capleton » Dec 6th, 2017, 12:35 pm

So why would I want to know about a primitive book that says slavery is okay?
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Re: The Bible Explained - in three easy words

Postby sobrohusfat » Dec 6th, 2017, 3:21 pm

3 words:

MY REDEEMER LIVES

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


As the story goes, a man came to each of the two most prominent Rabbis of his day (1st century BC) and asked them both for a condensed explanation of Torah - but he wanted them do so quickly; "...while i stand on one foot"

The first Rabbi he went to see (Shammai) got angry at this "impossible" request and threw the man out.

The second Rabbi he visited (Hillel) considered his request and patiently explained how difficult it is to teach in seconds what his students take a lifetime to study - but he did give the man this answer:

"What is hateful to YOU, do not do to another. ...that is the whole Torah, the rest is commentary - go study it."

Nice! - short, sweet, & Simple. Just a variation of what we'd come to later know as the "Golden Rule"
Well that's good - i already mean harm to NO ONE as it is - so i certainly don't need to join a club or read someone elses' book telling me how to be what i already am.

...unless there's more going on than that - and what i (we) really need as we navigate this world of darkness and evil, (packing around all our own baggage along the way), can only be found through the only Redeemer who IS the "Light of the world" and who has - does - and will - actively engage in real and tangible ways in our lives. (...but seldom just how we want at the time)

Maybe you think you've never needed a redeemer? - just wait...
"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." - Mark Twain

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Re: The Bible Explained - in three easy words

Postby Bsuds » Dec 6th, 2017, 3:28 pm

The 3 words I have will just get bleeped!
How to get rid of your junk during the holidays.
Put it all in Amazon boxes and leave it on your front porch.
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Re: The Bible Explained - in three easy words

Postby RanchLife42 » Jan 21st, 2018, 11:48 am

So I read, no one has made any real explanation. Why are you and I here? Most people live for money, largely to be consumers and greedy,selfish. And I noticed no one gets out of life Alive. So to all those self righteous, I know none can give an absolute answer. It is all probability and projections of it all. Enjoy each day, maybe try not to be as greedy as our leaders are. We are led by the devils workers.

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Re: The Bible Explained - in three easy words

Postby Glacier » May 28th, 2018, 7:33 am

I was fully expecting Thinktank to tell us that the three words were "love of money" or some such thing. Well done, thinktank, you fooled me.

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Re: The Bible Explained - in three easy words

Postby 1nick » May 28th, 2018, 2:54 pm

Results may vary.
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Re: The Bible Explained - in three easy words

Postby Ka-El » Jun 2nd, 2018, 3:35 pm

1nick wrote:Results may vary.

Discuss
If only there were a national test for stupidity.

"How much ammo do yall have. I figure i probs got at least 10k rounds of various calibre .
Gonna stock up again this spring. Try to have 25000 rds. Yup, feeling manly now."
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Re: The Bible Explained - in three easy words

Postby Hassel99 » Jun 4th, 2018, 12:03 pm

Did not happen.
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Re: The Bible Explained - in three easy words

Postby Ptolemy Soter » Jun 5th, 2018, 7:58 am

Rumours and hearsay...

Totally overblown stories.
I am... the law!
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Re: The Bible Explained - in three easy words

Postby dogspoiler » Jun 11th, 2018, 8:05 am

For the Roman Catholic Church the three words appear to be.
Love the children.
If beer is not the answer.
You are asking the wrong question.

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Re: The Bible Explained - in three easy words

Postby Jack DeBear » Jul 5th, 2018, 5:06 am

Peterson's Biblical Series























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Re: The Bible Explained - in three easy words

Postby Muzza » Jul 11th, 2018, 11:13 am

The Bible... aka "Goat Herders Guide To The Galaxy"

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Re: The Bible Explained - in three easy words

Postby Glacier » Jul 11th, 2018, 1:32 pm

*sheep* herders. You're thinking of the Qu'ran.

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