Grad camp outs

[morghoul]

My opinion is as long as you are living in your parents' house, eating their food, driving their vehicles, using their utilities and crapping in their toilets, then you should expect to follow and respect their rules of conduct. If you don't agree with them or think your intelligence is superior, get out on your own, get your own wheels, get a job and support yourself and don't come sniveling back home to Mommy and Daddy because life is too hard and you are too broke.

I drive my own car which I worked very hard to pay for, I work two jobs and live on my own, but thank you for the advice, grandma.

[grammafreddy]

I drive my own car which I worked very hard to pay for, I work two jobs and live on my own, but thank you for the advice, grandma.

You're welcome. Were you living at home before you graduated? If your parents had told you you could not go to these bush parties, would you have respected their wishes?

Kudos to you for what you have accomplished thus far. I hope you do well in life.

[k_s16]

I graduated a few years ago and I think a lot of the comments on here are blown out of proportion. It's not all drugs, drinking and kids being reckless.

I had great parents growing up who raised me properly and trusted my judgement so I was allowed to attend bush parties but I never drank at them. That way I still got to enjoy time with my grad class. The few parties that got out of control I was able to drive home safely. My friends who did drink were smart enough to ask me to be their DD and we had a deal that when one person wanted to leave we all left together. We were all responsible and had fun.

Obviously, there are always a few who go to the extremes but as long as you have raised your kid with morals and a sense of responsibility you shouldn't have to worry that they will be one of them.

[Libelle]

I graduated a few years ago and I think a lot of the comments on here are blown out of proportion. It's not all drugs, drinking and kids being reckless.

I had great parents growing up who raised me properly and trusted my judgement so I was allowed to attend bush parties but I never drank at them. That way I still got to enjoy time with my grad class. The few parties that got out of control I was able to drive home safely. My friends who did drink were smart enough to ask me to be their DD and we had a deal that when one person wanted to leave we all left together. We were all responsible and had fun.

Obviously, there are always a few who go to the extremes but as long as you have raised your kid with morals and a sense of responsibility you shouldn't have to worry that they will be one of them.

Blown out of proportion? No, I would not go that far. As you said there are a few that will go to extremes, and even if you raised your kid with morals your child could be caught in the cross fire.

[FreeRights]

My opinion is as long as you are living in your parents' house, eating their food, driving their vehicles, using their utilities and crapping in their toilets, then you should expect to follow and respect their rules of conduct. If you don't agree with them or think your intelligence is superior, get out on your own, get your own wheels, get a job and support yourself and don't come sniveling back home to Mommy and Daddy because life is too hard and you are too broke.

I get what you're saying, but I don't really think that what you believe he should do while living with his parents is even half as relevant as what his actual parents think he should do while living there.

[OnTheRoadAgain]

Obviously, there are always a few who go to the extremes but as long as you have raised your kid with morals and a sense of responsibility you shouldn't have to worry that they will be one of them.

We always hope they come back to the ways they were taught, however, during the years of 'peer orientation', it is more likely that even kids who were taught well will orient with their peers to fit in.
Congratulations for having the resilience to see beyond your years and take the safe and smart route to adulthood,

[OnTheRoadAgain]

I'd like to know the stats comparing deaths by bush party vs. death by car crash. Kids are allowed to drive independently at age 17. This, to my mind, is much more dangerous than going to a party. Thoughts?

I lost a family member at 17 to a MVA. Still miss him.
That doesn't mean bush parties are safer than driving.

[emg]

I graded at MBSS, went to grad campout. The issue is not the grad campout itself, but the choices you make as a teen when you attend.

I had a blast! And a hangover. But my parents ensured that I had a tent, and a DD the next day to haul my butt back to school. They trusted me enough to attend, and know that I wasn't going to be roof surfing, drinking more than was humanly possible, or falling into the bonfire. And I didn't.

If you don't trust your teen to make those decisions, then by all means, don't let them go.

Having said that though, what choices do you trust them with now, versus when they leave the nest for college in a year and do "college campout"?

[OnTheRoadAgain]

I graded at MBSS, went to grad campout. The issue is not the grad campout itself, but the choices you make as a teen when you attend.

I had a blast! And a hangover. But my parents ensured that I had a tent, and a DD the next day to haul my butt back to school. They trusted me enough to attend, and know that I wasn't going to be roof surfing, drinking more than was humanly possible, or falling into the bonfire. And I didn't.

If you don't trust your teen to make those decisions, then by all means, don't let them go.

Having said that though, what choices do you trust them with now, versus when they leave the nest for college in a year and do "college campout"?

The real 'issue' is the alcohol (especially when mixed with other drugs).
Could be entertaining just sitting back and watching all your friends get drunk and stupid, but most are eventually drawn into it themselves.
A good choice for those kids might be not to attend.
Your parents should know that it isn't YOU they must trust in such a scenario and situation it is everybody else attending as well as those not invited.
College kids don't usually do campout celebrations - reason being, they are of legal age to drink alcohol.

[fvkasm2x]

The flack is not from my child. It is from adults in the community who have grown up with the tradition of grad kidnappings and grad campouts who argue the validity and necessity of these events as part of "the grad experience." The campout is supposedly scheduled for Tues. night. My child will not be there and we have discussed the reasons why in a mature way. My child has accepted this decision. I am not a fool. I know it is not the popular decision. However, I do find it disturbing when adults (neighbors and colleagues) in the area argue the importance of these very high risk campouts.

Good for you. I think you're doing the right thing.

I went to these as teen "just 15 years ago" lol.

I tried to sleep with any girl I could, drank till I puked and saw even worse behvior. One kid even fell in the bonfire and suffered some good burns all over his body.

They aren't all "harmless."

[zookeeper]

..... It is from adults in the community who have grown up with the tradition of grad kidnappings and grad campouts who argue the validity and necessity of these events as part of "the grad experience." ........ However, I do find it disturbing when adults (neighbors and colleagues) in the area argue the importance of these very high risk campouts.

Congratulations to both of you (parent/teen) for coming to a decision with each other. IMO this parent has taught an important life lesson to this teen, NOT caving in to peer pressure. Well done parent!

[psychprof]

so the dreaded campout came and went. Anyone know of any fallout?

[OnTheRoadAgain]

Unless serious injury or death, you will only hear about the incidents through those who attended.
You might also hear from some parents that 'my kid went, and she came home alive." so all must have gone well.

No alcohol poisoning;
no illegal fires,
no mixing alcohol with drugs;
no sexual promiscuity; no rapes; no unwanted pregnancies;\
no accidents or mishaps,

....just a good healthy dose of big fun for all who attended?

[moparmaddness]

I am new to the area and have a teen at mbss. I am getting a lot of flack for not allowing my daughter to participate in the grad campout that is coming up. This is not an event supported by the school. From what I understand, these campouts involve kids driving to a remote area in the hills, drinking, and partying all night. When I discuss this with other parents, many of them see camp outs as harmless fun that they once participated in. Some issues that have been raised for me are : a) these kids are underage to be drinking. I get that kids will drink. However, how can parents say it is a good idea to drive up to bear creek and get drunk? This sounds pretty reckless. B) This event is to be held on a school night. When did it become acceptable for teens to party all night long on a school night?
Mbss is anti grad campoutkelowna. I think it is our responsibility as parents to do the same. These campouts are too risky. I was told that a young man crashed his parent's vehicle down a ravine. I have also been told that the mess left after these camp outs is pretty extreme. Grad should be a fun time, but not unsafe.
Thoughts?

Drinking yes, partying check, pot you betcha, general revelry yup. I graduated from MBSS a while back and went to a lot of bush parties. A word of advice - if your daughter is of the impressionable type, that might do something she wouldn't normally do, it might be best for her not to go. She seems to come for a parent that cares for her, so she must know that drinking and driving is dumb. The drive out to bear creek isn't the problem its the people that drive home @ 1am in a vain attempt to make their 12am curfew, that definitely isn't smart. As for the school night - its not the end of the world if she has good grades. Grad is fun, so are parties, talk to her about it and see if she can *bleep* risk vs reward. Ultimately its up to you.

[Tero]

Here's an idea: Why don't you just go up there and see what all the fuss is about instead of pretending like you know what goes on at these events. I'm not sure if you're aware, but cops DO show up to these things and check out what's going on, tell the kids to put the bonfire out, and then leave, because there's NOTHING going on. It's not like their starting a riot up there.

LOL, and you're on the inside track of what the RCMP do and do not do... how?

Last year's Penticton camp out got so bad a child was murdered!!! That was the worst of what happened (obviously) but what didn't make the news was the other fights, burns, alcohol poisoning, and sadly, the two rapes. (and yes, I DO have an inside track.)

Parents who keep their kids home, especially those who offer and and assist with a safe alternative - thank you!!!