Grad camp outs

[Zandee]

I am new to the area and have a teen at mbss. I am getting a lot of flack for not allowing my daughter to participate in the grad campout that is coming up. This is not an event supported by the school. From what I understand, these campouts involve kids driving to a remote area in the hills, drinking, and partying all night. When I discuss this with other parents, many of them see camp outs as harmless fun that they once participated in. Some issues that have been raised for me are : a) these kids are underage to be drinking. I get that kids will drink. However, how can parents say it is a good idea to drive up to bear creek and get drunk? This sounds pretty reckless. B) This event is to be held on a school night. When did it become acceptable for teens to party all night long on a school night?
Mbss is anti grad campoutkelowna. I think it is our responsibility as parents to do the same. These campouts are too risky. I was told that a young man crashed his parent's vehicle down a ravine. I have also been told that the mess left after these camp outs is pretty extreme. Grad should be a fun time, but not unsafe.
Thoughts?

[Queen K]

Zandee, thank you for PARENTING and not trying to be the childs best friend.

[gardengirl]

I agree. Didn't someone die at one of those a few years ago? I think I remember that a kid got run over.

[sassybee]

have a couple kids who graduated from MBSS. One of the parties was attended and I heard all about it. Glad they only went to one. I wouldn't let my kids go if I was you. They are very much out of hand.
Another thing I find weird, is the grade 12s now a days, have "grad parties" all year long. Just an excuse I guess.
Good luck! Nice to hear about a parent who thinks ahead and care.

[Pkunko]

I too went to MBSS, at that time Grad Campout happened at the start of the school year. My mother didn't let me attend either, and I remember being p-ed of about it, but somehow I turned out fine and life went on.

I did get to attend grad kidnapping though, and that was fun

[Bsuds]

I agree with the previous posts, don't let her go!

[psychprof]

These are very dangerous events. Kids have died, been hospitalized for a variety of crises including alcohol poisoning, wounds caused by drunken brawling, stab wounds, etc. At least once a year someone suffers severe burns from falling into the fire. Teenagers are notoriously wreckless. Couple that with alcohol and lack of supervision and you have cause for concern!

[grammafreddy]

I agree with the previous posts, don't let her go!

Ditto this. Too many kids have died. Don't add yours to the list.

[psychprof]

Playing devil's advocate. I remember (just barely) my teenage years growing up in good ole Westbank in the 80's and we had similar events; we just called them bush parties! Some of which would include a campout component. We truly believed our parents knew nothing about it and they seemed to be quite happy to claim ignorance.

Modern teenagers now have a series of similar events but they've given them a name and are being honest and up-front about it with their parents. The same dangers existed then as now but parents are being kept in the loop. Is that worse? Thoughts?

[coffeeFreak]

Last year when my neighbours' son was in grade 12, and they allowed him to have a couple parties in their back yard on the same nights as a couple of the big grad parties, I think in the Spring and one just before or in the first week of school? It was an alternative to attending for him and his friends, and it was a non-drinking event. He had to talk to all the neighbours and explain what he was doing and why. He also said that although they would try and keep it down they were a group of teens and there might be some noise past the bylaw time of 11pm. They had a small fire, there were tents all over the back yard and they appeared to have a great time. They really did keep the noise down and it seemed to have a great time. This might be an alternative for parents.

[janalta]

Agreed....these bush parties are hardly a new concept. We did the same thing in high school in the late 70's, early 80's. We had bush parties up Chute Lake Rd, Peach Flats, Gallagher's.
Yep, there was drinking, driving, some random drunk usually ended up falling in the fire....and would be immediately dragged back out with no serious side effects.
Yes, we had grad camp outs, overnight parties, trips up to fishing cabins in the woods.
We all survived.

My kids graduated in small town AB.....a place where every teen waits anxiously for the annual May Long weekend camp outs....part of growing up and being independant. Thousands of teens all over AB, every year....for many years. They all survived.

If parents are so concerned that life is that much more dangerous today....get involved instead of demanding that your child miss out on the entire grad experience.
Instead of trying to push 'dry grad' activities on kids....realize that kids are kids and most will drink and do stupid things...again...all part of growing up and learning.
Do what the parents in many AB towns have done for many years.....attend their grad parties. Make sure none of them drive. Make sure no 'outsiders' get involved. Make sure everyone is safe.
Don't hover over them...don't try to stop them from having fun or drinking....just be there...in the background...making sure everyone has a safe night and safe way home.

[FreeRights]

Grad camp outs have been a tradition for MBSS and, less recently, George Pringle for a very long tim. Ages, in fact.

With that said, it's still a horrible idea.

When I gradded, some parents opened up their house for friends and yes, the kids would drink. But they'd do so in the safety and under the supervision of an adult. Which is obviously much better than out in the middle of nowhere.

[Bretbaby]

I'm not a parent, so perhaps I can't offer great advice. However, my take is that bush/grad parties these days ARE NOT how they were when I graduated (10+ years ago) and older.

Yes, we got drunk, yes there were a few fist fights and yes, I'm sure some people drove home drunk. However, is it just me, or are kids these days more reckless? It seems after these types of events there is always stabbings, murders, overdoses, rapes or etc... these types of things NEVER happened at any of the parties I attended. What is with kids these days?

What about a compromise with your child? You will drive them there and pick them up at YOUR set time? That way, they get to have a little fun with their friends (as many of us have done when we were young), but then you know they are safe at home at the end of the night (or beginning of the morning).

[Bagotricks]

Deny them going to a party. Do not teach responsibility. Teach "abstinence".

Then next year when they are in college - they can go to all the bars they want and drink their faces off. Good thing you saved them for a few months 'more".

Instead of knowing what a responsible adult does in terms of drinking and enjoying social gatherings and having a ADULT parent/child relationship - they will know to lie, deceive and go around you in adult life.

My parents drove my sister and picked her up from one of these parties about 7 years ago. Designated Driver for all her friends - terrible I know. It would have been much smarter to deny her and in turn let her lie about her evening and go up to the bush and possibly get a ride home with a drunk. They also drove her up there so they knew where it was for safety, and to be a part of her adult life because 6 months later she was living in Calgary all on her own and could go to any "party" she wished.

The bush parties my dad went to in the 70's - people used to throw boxes of .22 shells in the fire as a surprise for party goers "for fun". Hiding M80 firecrackers in peoples cigarettes. Knife fights and drag racing muscle cars drunk off your rocker was "the thing" to do. Saying "bush parties are worse now" is pretty amusing.

[Lyndslee]

I graduated from boucherie and I was not allowed to go to grad camp outs. Yes I was mad, screamed and sulked.
I got over it. Now that I have kids, I probably would not allow my kids to go either.

When my friends went the majority of these parties got crashed by other high schools and it turns ugly.