Double Fatal

[OnTheRoadAgain]

There has been a terrible tragedy and I don't like how this thread is being used to bash young people. I'm only 17 and I certainly don't act like everyone portrays "all" kids as being.

That's awesome. We aren't talking about you then, other than a good example to be for your peers and sibs.

[OnTheRoadAgain]

You have no clue do you and I hope you never have a problem teen because in the end you have no power!

We have all the power over our kids! Why is this so freaking hard to understand? So what if little Johnnie or little Susie is pissy because you said NO!

Please tell me when did this change people????? When did our children start ruling OUR lives parenting them?????

I must have missed that memo.

We are not talking about little children.
Stop blaming the parents already.
My parents blamed themselves for a long time, probably still do, because, if they'd only said no when he asked if he could go to his friends. They have enough to deal with already.
These kids made their choices.
Why is that so freaking hard to understand?

Missing a memo is one thing missing the boat is another.
We do not control our children. In fact, here is a good memo to share right now, it is from Khalil Gibran

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children."
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

[OnTheRoadAgain]

I was getting drunk at 1pm on a Saturday cause I knew I had to be home by 7. There are dozens upon dozens of times where I left the house and came back before anyone noticed. Kids are resourceful. Kids WILL lie to get what they want, even the best ones. I'm 19 now and I've since smartened up but at 15-16, my parents had absolutely no control over me. I didn't threaten them, I didn't lash out, it kept them at bay and let them give me all the freedom I needed to get into the trouble I was getting into. I was living at home with a drug and alcohol problem and my parents never knew about it because I more or less abided by their rules. I was home if they wanted me to be, so they let me go out when I wanted to. Was I usually where I said I was? No. Did they know the people I was with? No.

Congrats on the whiz kids you apparently have, but don't be foolish and say that it's as easy as saying 'no'.

Very insightful post for those who will listen

(I was a goody two-shoes (controlled by my parents - Dad really) and I tried it once, but I definitely got caught.
My parents woke up to find me missing, and went through hell until I called home. Then, I was scared to go home.

[OnTheRoadAgain]

My dad was a cop with 3 girls...strict rules...we found a way.

The only person I have control over is myself.
I can educate, and warn and love, and teach, but when they leave my house for school...I really have no idea what they do.
They can turn around and light a big fat one if the want.

I have taught them choices and consequences, and allow them to make choices.
I also have rules at my house, though, and try and teach mutual respect....they will NOT be running at night with God knows who if I can help it.

Then again, I snuck out the window many of times.

I just pray that they make good choices.

Another insightful and honest post. Sharing this will hopefully open some eyes.
I will also suggest that if your parents were asked what kind of kid you were, they would have said, "she's basically a good kid", right?

[mexi cali]

Over the past several pages, many of you have collaborated to create an entirely different thread which is loosely at best related to the original post.

[Bsuds]

We do tend to wander, short attention spans.
Anyone know how the girl in the Hospital is doing? I hope she will come out of this OK.

[OnTheRoadAgain]

Over the past several pages, many of you have collaborated to create an entirely different thread which is loosely at best related to the original post.

The death of two teenagers, a double fatality...and people are discussing possible causes.
Its human nature, especially on public forums.
Everyone wants to prevent it from happening again, and they say how they think that might happen.

I see almost every post here as relative to the original post.
Teenagers killed and injured in this wreck. And how we feel about it.

[LoneWolf_53]

Well said OTRA.

I think some of us who are parents are simply trying to convey, to those who feel parenting is somewhat to blame, that though parenting naturally plays a large part in a child's life, the fact of the matter is we can only guard them so much, after which we have to trust that their judgment will be good and hopefully help to keep them safe.

At the end of the day though, fate, or unforeseen circumstance if you will, play a large part as well, so some who might think they were the greatest parents on earth, because their offspring are still with them, may have overlooked the possibility that perhaps they were simply luckier than the other, and the shoe could just as easily have been on another foot.

[Nebula]

Anyone know how the girl in the Hospital is doing? I hope she will come out of this OK.

I saw an update a few hours ago. She is up, walking and talking.

[Catz]

Anyone know how the girl in the Hospital is doing? I hope she will come out of this OK.

I saw an update a few hours ago. She is up, walking and talking.

I am so happy to hear that

[Cumungala]

I long for the day where teenagers can be treated like normal people and all these stereotypes can die. Its too bad that a small group of hooligans can destroy the image of an entire segment of the population. I wish that I could walk down the street and not have at least somebody watching me like a hawk as if I'm going to chuck a rock through somebody's window or light a hedge on fire. Its just ridiculous. I also don't like how everybody thinks that we think that we know everything and have no respect for the adult population whatsoever. That couldn't be farther from the truth. Its pretty sad that a thread about a tragic event had to boil down to this just because of the age of the people involved.

[LoneWolf_53]

Cumungala, dramatize much?

I wish that I could walk down the street and not have at least somebody watching me like a hawk as if I'm going to chuck a rock through somebody's window or light a hedge on fire. Its just ridiculous.

I don't believe that for a moment, thus my reference to "dramatics", and if it were true it would suggest that you need to take a look at who you associate with, or is it that you're doing this "walking down the street" at 2am? If that's the case anyone would be under suspicion both young or old.

[OnTheRoadAgain]

I long for the day where teenagers can be treated like normal people and all these stereotypes can die. Its too bad that a small group of hooligans can destroy the image of an entire segment of the population. I wish that I could walk down the street and not have at least somebody watching me like a hawk as if I'm going to chuck a rock through somebody's window or light a hedge on fire. Its just ridiculous. I also don't like how everybody thinks that we think that we know everything and have no respect for the adult population whatsoever. That couldn't be farther from the truth. Its pretty sad that a thread about a tragic event had to boil down to this just because of the age of the people involved.

You will understand when you have a teenager. Remember this for then.

[zookeeper]

I long for the day where teenagers can be treated like normal people and all these stereotypes can die. Its too bad that a small group of hooligans can destroy the image of an entire segment of the population. I wish that I could walk down the street and not have at least somebody watching me like a hawk as if I'm going to chuck a rock through somebody's window or light a hedge on fire. Its just ridiculous. I also don't like how everybody thinks that we think that we know everything and have no respect for the adult population whatsoever. That couldn't be farther from the truth. Its pretty sad that a thread about a tragic event had to boil down to this just because of the age of the people involved.

Well said Cumungala, my kid (grown and away from home) could have written that.

[sassybee]

Two funerals this Friday. One in Westbank, one in Peachland. Heartfelt sympathies to all the family and friends involved who knew these young adults.