Help solve Charles Horvath-Allan's case

[Jo]

And now, back on topic.

[Mr Danksworth]

If you lose your child, and are grieving, I'll be the first in line to tell you to MOVE ON.

I would if I was reliving the event for 26 years after the fact. You have no idea the losses that I have suffered, and you never will...because I don't parade them around. Moving on is healthy. It's a part of the whole process. You should look into it.

[Swoop]

...who are we to tell a woman how she should, or should not honor/mourn the loss of her son, while also searching for an inkling of a clue as to what may have happened to him?...some hide behind the cloak of so-called "free speech" saying it's their right to be crass, callous and thoughtless towards the loss suffered by another...others feel superior talking down to others like they're 3 year-olds in need of a time out - completely ignorant of the hurt their words may inflict, not only on the mother, but on the many family friends supporting her and others close to the case - just because they feel it's their right to speak their mind...how about simply stuffing your thoughts of how she should or shouldn't cope and simply support her efforts - or, better yet, butt out and leave the topic alone if you have nothing constructive to offer...

[Swoop]

...how do you think Jaycee Duggard's parents would have felt giving up hope on their daughter and simply "moving on? - only to have her show up some 18 years later...do you really think there isn't a day, Michael Dunahee's parents don't hope that next phone call just might be the one tip that leads to the safe return of their son - or at least give them some form of closure to his disappearance?...who are any of us to tell someone to "move on" and forget about their obviously dead child...about as cold and heartless an attitude as you could have towards another person, but hey - it's real easy from the safe confines of your comfy chair with your laptop - I dare any of you to look Denise in the face and tell her she should just move on because her son is obviously dead...yea - didn't think so...

[ShannonG]

I feel sad for her every time she returns to Kelowna. Imagine the financial investment alone in these trips, not to mention the emotional drain it must be for her. I don't think she believes he's still alive, I think she just wants answers as to how he died.

[nikonfan]

The Loss of a child has got to be one of the worst pains a parent faces, the loss of a child and having no clue what happened must be even worse. I can't fault a mother for never giving up hope and returning to the place where he might of gone missing. However, blaming media or people for not having the same empathy after 26 years is a little much. I still wonder who killed Mindy Tran (I know we know but....) wouldn't mind seeing them make a bit of noise either. There was another murder around the same time of a middle aged woman in Crawford Estates that I don't believe was ever solved. How many years did it take to solve the Cusworth case and how many news conferences did that take? Can't blame the mom for not wanting people to forget.

[davis123]

I would if I was reliving the event for 26 years after the fact. You have no idea the losses that I have suffered, and you never will...because I don't parade them around. Moving on is healthy. It's a part of the whole process. You should look into it.

So if your child went missing are you just going to search on your own and not ask for any help? And please tell us when this mother should have stopped 'parading' around her grief and when she should have moved on? 1 year? 2, 10, ? how many years till she should have put a stop to grieving for her missing son? Put a number on it buddy cause clearly you think 26 years it too long.

How can you not comprehend that she wants answers, her son vanished...no body to bury, no answers, did he runaway and living a life somewhere, was he hurt and has no idea who he is any longer, did someone murder him, the possibilities go on and on and on...Do you think ANY decent mother is going to stop looking for her missing child? Yes, moving on is healthy, but I think you seem to forget her child is not gone from cancer or an accident...he is missing, there is no moving on from that, until she knows what happened to him.

I will most definitely assume you are not a parent, you have no clue on a mothers' love for her children, no mother would speak like you do. I would spend my entire life looking for my kids if either of them went missing. Reading your posts is almost chilling..very cold.

[W105]

yeah, "misery parade" is harsh...

[WhenWhatWho]

yeah, "misery parade" is harsh...

I don't think anyone is denying her, her grief but does she need to run to the media the moment she steps off the plane? She probably emails them to say she's on her way. I'm sure that is what most other posters take exception to, myself included.

BTW I could care less what the bleeding hearts think of my 'opinion' on this matter.

[Puddlejumper40]

I can see giving up on a "dog" or "cat" that went missing. Giving up on your own flesh and blood? Your child???

Why wouldn't she try and ulitlize every resource at her disposal? The media has been used for a lot worse things than requesting information about a lost child! Even if they have been missing for that long! Sounds like a caring and loving Mother!

[Swoop]

...nice to know that having compassion and respect for another's plight one's labelled a "bleeding heart"...as I understand, the last time she was here was 2010 - hardly an "annual misery parade"...she turns to the media as a best avenue to spread the word and remind people there's been no closure to the case - as someone somewhere knows something...what do you suggest she should consider for an alternative - come to these forums?...

[W105]

she's hoping someone will come forward with info about the disappearance of her son...so who should she contact but the Media ??? makes sense to me..

and calling somebody's grief a "misery parade" is harsh...

if she needs this for her own closure, so be it...

[WhenWhatWho]

You peeps must be exhausted at the end of each day with so much emotional empathetic involvement for every sad story in the news. I feel sorry for you.

[Retrosnap]

I don't think anyone is denying her, her grief but does she need to run to the media the moment she steps off the plane? She probably emails them to say she's on her way. I'm sure that is what most other posters take exception to, myself included.

BTW I could care less what the bleeding hearts think of my 'opinion' on this matter.

I wonder if you thought the same of the parents of Jennifer Cusworth when they had their annual press conference with the RCMP? Their search for justice is every bit as justified as Horvath-Allan's search for closure.

[OREZ]

I wonder if you thought the same of the parents of Jennifer Cusworth when they had their annual press conference with the RCMP? Their search for justice is every bit as justified as Horvath-Allan's search for closure.

There is quite a big difference between these two cases, though. In Jennifer's case, it was known immediately, when and how she died. The only thing which wasn't known was who the killer (and rapist piece of crap) was and where he was. Naturally there was an ongoing investigation which eventually yielded results.

In the Horvath case, 26 years later, with no body and no evidence, I'm really not sure what if anything can be accomplished.