R.I.P Amanda Todd

[OnTheRoadAgain]

And the school board saying they had supports in place for her.....
this is how effective those supports are....
I have seen them fail before with teen suicides

[grammafreddy]

I think every person on the face of the earth has the capacity to be a bully and at some point in time has been a bully.

You. Me. Everyone.

[Straight Shooter]

Please take the time to watch the Amanda Todd's video and see if you cried like I did. My daughter like Amanda went through the same bullying and as a parent I did nothing, because I didn't feel what she was going through plus I thought she brought this on herself. I was wrong and now she's paying the price. She's still alive but her life is messed up and as a parent I have to take the blame.

[OnTheRoadAgain]

Of course we cried. How could we not. She was crying out for help long before she committed suicide.
She could not make it stop on her own. She was powerless to change anything but schools, and that didn't work because, as often happens for these kids, the bullying follows them. Social media takes care of that.

Many parents feel powerless to help. Many parents think their kids brought it on somehow.
We need to have close relationships with our kids to really know what's going on in their lives.

We cannot depend on school counsellors or school boards to protect our kids at school, on their way there, or on their way home.
This is not the first teenager we have lost to bullying, and I fear it won't be the last (as I said about Reena Virk).

Every parent should be talking to their kids about this incident, and teaching them how to help if they know someone who has this kind of trouble in their lives.
We suck at teaching our kids how to report bullying, and we suck at helping them through it.
WE have to get better before the kids will get better.

[AllthatFunk]

Pointing the finger of blame won't change this tragedy, yet we all try to find someone who is at fault here.

It's heartbreaking to see what this poor girl went through. What's worse is that everyone knew what was going on and still she somehow managed to take her own life. Her parents and extended family members must be beside themself with grief and guilt. I hope that they find the man who started all of this and lock him up. As for the kids who bullied her, its a horrendous way for them to find out just how tragic their bullying has been. Most of them will likely not even realize just how big a part they actually played in this.

RIP Amanda.

[kay-c]

Stay off facebook

[WhatThe]

Blame the parents, that's all we ever hear when some teenager dies.
What a crock of *bleep*
Is that the warm blanket some wrap themselves in to feel better?
We are all to blame, this society we live in allows this garbage to continue, Judge mental and self righteous. From omg they're fat to I don't want gay marriage, if you say it it's hurting someone.

Gramma F gets it.

[OnTheRoadAgain]

I get it too, and I agree.

[OnTheRoadAgain]

then got called stunning, beautiful etc
then wanted me to flash so I did
a year later he sent me a facebook message
if you don't put on a show for me,I will send my boobs.....
he knew my address, friends, family, school, names,
my photo was sent to everyone...I then got very sick
anxiety, major depression, and panic disorder
then moved and got into drugs and alcohol
anxiety got worse, couldn't go out
a year later, he made a facebook page with my boobs as his profile pic
cried every night, lost all my friends and respect
then nobody liked me...name calling, judged
I can never get that photo back
it's out there forever
i started cutting
didn't have any friends and I sat at lunch alone
so I moved schools again
everything was better even though I still sat alone

big mistake
he hooked up with me I thought he liked me
one week later I get a text: get out of your school
his girlfriend and fifteen others came
the girl and two others said look around, nobody likes you
in front of my new school - 50 people.
a guy then yelled punch her already
so she did
she threw me to the ground and punched me several times
kids filmed it. I was all alone and left on the ground
I felt like a joke in this world
I thought nobody deserves this.
I was alone
I lied and said it was my fault and my idea
I didn't want him getting hurt, I thought he really liked me.
but he just wanted the sex
teachers ran over but I just layed in a ditch and my dad found me
I wanted to die so bad when he brought me home I drank bleach
It killed me inside and I thought I was actually going to die
ambulance came and got me, took me to the hospital and flushed me
when I got home all I saw was facebook:
she deserved it.
did you wash the mud out of your hair?
I hope she's dead
nobody cared
I moved away to my mom's.to another school
I didn't want to press charges, I just wanted to move on
a month has gone by
people are posting pics of bleach, clorex, ditches,
tagging me...
I was doing a lot better too
they said she should try a different bleach
I hope she dies this time and isn't so stupid
they said I hope she sees this and kills herself
why do I get this?
I messed up but why follow me?
I left your guys city
I'm constantly crying now
every day I think why am I still here?
my anxiety is horrible now, never went out this summer
All from my past, life's not getting better, can't go to school, meet or be with people
contstantly cutting
I'm really depressed
I'm on andi-depressants now and councelling
a month ago this summer I overdosed ... in hospital for two days
I'm stuck
what's left of me now?
nothing stops...
I HAVE NOBODY
I NEED SOMEONE

my name is Amanda Todd

She was lured. She was coaxed. She was flattered into showing herself online. She was thirteen years old.
She was tortured by her peers, and nobody would help her stop it. She was psychologically and physically abused. Repeatedly.
Everybody knew what was going on, but nobody could help her.
Her doctor gave her medications, which she overdosed on.
Her school gave her no protection whatsoever. Her counsellor couldn't help her. The hospital released her.
Her parents were separated, not living together. At 14, she got into drugs and alcohol. She was cutting (self infliction of physical pain in effort to lessen the psychological pain)
She moved from one parent's house to the others, running from something she could not get away from.
She was constantly crying. She never went out. She lived in fear and embarassment.
In her heart, she knew she did not deserve this, but she did not know how to stop it.
She heard her peers telling her not to give up until she succeeded in killing herself.

She started to get better after counselling and meds, but there are no meds to combat the psychological damage from bullying. It stays with you, especially when you don't have the maturity or the support to get through it alive.

Depressed? Anxious? Sick heart? Absolutely hopeless? I would think so.
We adults can see around those corners that our teens can't visualize. We have this knowledge and experience to know that things can get better. Why can't we learn to help these kids, not at the point of suicide, but at the point where the bullying begins.
Why is there nowhere for these kids to go to get effective help? Why are we unable to help them?
Why are kids so mean, even though they have been taught how to be nice.
Why do the peers find more value in joining the bullies than defending the victims?

Why does a beautiful young girl with so much potential have to die, just because she is made to feel that nobody likes her?

Because she had nobody, and she needed somebody. It's as simple as that.

Dear, sweet, innocent Amanda, I'm so sorry nobody really heard you. May you be safely and gently wrapped in the arms of loving angels forevermore.

[Snman]

This is such a sad tale, but also too common. My daughter was a victim of constant bullying, particularly in junior high. Groups of girls would surround her and insult her, spit on her, call her names and so on. She didn't want to go to school at all. The school did nothing. Nothing. It was "well, you know sometimes there's two sides to the story, blah, blah, blah". So I contacted some of the parents and soon understood why their kids acted that way. They learned it from mum and dad. One dad even offered to settle it provided I would meet him and fist fight. So that was it, nothing you could do and believe me, I wanted to punch out that dad, his wife, and all those girls. That's how enraged the whole thing made me. But I didn't and my daughter has moved on but I doubt she will ever forget. In the end, I think we tend to turn a blind eye and hope it will just go away, but it won't and it seems to be getting worse, particularly with girls. I hope Amanda will rest in peace and that her tormentors get the Karma they got coming. Shame, shame.

[OnTheRoadAgain]

We found some resolution and regained some self esteem through restorative justice initiatives.
We met one of our son's particular bullies (a physical one), his parents, and a RJ team.
We were able to give our impact statements, say how this had affected us all, and question the bully through the moderator.
The mother cried. The bully apologized, and explained what he had learned from meeting with us.
I have no proof with regard to what lasting affect that had on the bully, but I know it had a lasting affect on our son, who regained just that much of his self esteem back.
If it seems that I am sensitive to this issue, I am. It hits very close to home for me.

We are all responsible. The entire village. Not enough adults know now to deal effectively with bullying.
It has to be reported. It has to be effectively dealt with so it is not repeated. It requires education starting at the top, in the adult world. But not many adults have time these days....pity for these hopeless children...

[Charlie01]

I sure hope I don't come off sounding like I'm blaming the victim here as that is the last thing on my mind. Teen suicide is a tragic event. The prevelence of bullying in schools and among youth is extrememly troubling. The poor recognition of what is actually bullying behaviour in it's early stages by many adults in many settings is mind boggling. The absence of successful tools to correct the behaviour and outcomes in school situations strikes me as a statement of a pathetically unconcerned culture.

Having said that, suicide is an extreme, no matter if it's a teen, young adult or any age. The frank truth is that some people simply do not, for a variety of reasons, have the coping skills necessary to function in given environments, often any environment. Why do some bully victims commit suicide, yet not all? I feel this is about mental health and the fact that issues going on with the development of some kids are what is missed. Something isn't right and whether through lack of recognition, fear of stigma, intolerance, lack of time or any number of things, what isn't right isn't acknowledged and managed for what it is at an early enough stage to help a kid gain quality of life.

I have a teenage son. Through close association with another teen, we have recently brushed up close to a threat of suicide. The angst, fear and pain imparted on my son due to the threat was over the top. He was used as a reason for the behaviour - no, he wasn't a bully; he simply established some boundaries in a relationship and I'm sure if you had asked the suicidal individual at one point, my son would have been called mean for doing so. The guilt imparted on him by the suicidal individual is now my task to mitigate. The suicidal person did not harm themself in this situation, it was a threat only...........this time. I have been able to see hallmarks of pretty messed up thinking and behaviour with this person for some time. I have had the unpleasant task of pointing out to my own son that these modes of operation are not right or healthy. Finally I have had to find a kind, yet forceful enough way to get the message across to the other's parents that something is very wrong. The behaviour shown through the threat or action is really a final symptom of something that can be terminal but really doesn't need to be if the cause is recognized at it's root. However, it also has to be understood and accepted that there is absolutely no way to get inside somebody else's head and fix or rewire something. We would be negligent to not try, but we also have to know how far we as a friend, class mate, teacher or whatever our roll is, should go in respect to trying to help. In teens, ultimately it is family who need to intervene. Sometimes they need to know there is something to intervene about and not get away with making excuses. Truth is, help only works for those who want it.

[janalta]

Stay off facebook

Right...because no one was ever bullied or committed suicide before Facebook came along.

[Lady tehMa]

My heart aches for Amanda, and for her parents.

I look at our society and I see "Lord of the Flies" come to life.

[OnTheRoadAgain]

quote="Charlie01"

I sure hope I don't come off sounding like I'm blaming the victim here as that is the last thing on my mind. Teen suicide is a tragic event. The prevelence of bullying in schools and among youth is extrememly troubling. The poor recognition of what is actually bullying behaviour in it's early stages by many adults in many settings is mind boggling. The absence of successful tools to correct the behaviour and outcomes in school situations strikes me as a statement of a pathetically unconcerned culture.

Bingo. Tell them how they can make money at it. Tell them how it will save them money. It seems to be all about resources they don't have. Well, everyone has a voice, and they need to learn how to effectively use it. Obviously, nobody would disagree this is horrendous. [/b]

Having said that, suicide is an extreme, no matter if it's a teen, young adult or any age. The frank truth is that some people simply do not, for a variety of reasons, have the coping skills necessary to function in given environments, often any environment. Why do some bully victims commit suicide, yet not all? I feel this is about mental health and the fact that issues going on with the development of some kids are what is missed. Something isn't right and whether through lack of recognition, fear of stigma, intolerance, lack of time or any number of things, what isn't right isn't acknowledged and managed for what it is at an early enough stage to help a kid gain quality of life.

[b]Most thirteen year olds with separated or divorced parents and no friends would be vulnerable, thats the frank truth. There are no coping skills - who is responsible then, to teach them and protect them till they learn?

This is very uncommon for news media to address a suicide, especially with a child. it just never happens, we are not supposed to hear about it, talk about it, it is taboo, embarassing, emotional, and all that. We have just broken a barrier here seeing this on the news, out in the open, and not a dirty little secret that nobody should know about. Everyone needs to know about this, and talk about it.

I have a teenage son. Through close association with another teen, we have recently brushed up close to a threat of suicide. The angst, fear and pain imparted on my son due to the threat was over the top. He was used as a reason for the behaviour - no, he wasn't a bully; he simply established some boundaries in a relationship and I'm sure if you had asked the suicidal individual at one point, my son would have been called mean for doing so. The guilt imparted on him by the suicidal individual is now my task to mitigate. The suicidal person did not harm themself in this situation, it was a threat only...........this time. I have been able to see hallmarks of pretty messed up thinking and behaviour with this person for some time. I have had the unpleasant task of pointing out to my own son that these modes of operation are not right or healthy. Finally I have had to find a kind, yet forceful enough way to get the message across to the other's parents that something is very wrong. The behaviour shown through the threat or action is really a final symptom of something that can be terminal but really doesn't need to be if the cause is recognized at it's root. However, it also has to be understood and accepted that there is absolutely no way to get inside somebody else's head and fix or rewire something. We would be negligent to not try, but we also have to know how far we as a friend, class mate, teacher or whatever our roll is, should go in respect to trying to help. In teens, ultimately it is family who need to intervene. Sometimes they need to know there is something to intervene about and not get away with making excuses. Truth is, help only works for those who want it.

I f you mean understanding that you mean you cannot change mental illness issues I agree; if you mean you cannot guide someone into a different way of thinking, I disagree. In some cases, that is exactly how they come to help themselves, by someone else getting into their head and helping them understand their own thought processes.

The only responsibility kids have is to tell someone. It's that simple. And keep telling someone until somebody hears you.
Depending on a parent's relationship with their kid, they may never even know he's being bullied, much less suicidal.
When a physician is presented with an illness or ailment he does not understand, he calls in a specialist.

The downside to your idea that only parents can help their teens is the law, which works against parents trying to help their kids whether depressed, suicidal, drug addicted or suffering from mental disorders.

Help would have worked with Amanda. She wanted help. She asked for it. She cried out for it on the internet. Nobody wanted to help her. She was right. She had nobody. And she told everybody that.