R.I.P Amanda Todd

[Dash5]

She was addicted to Facebook - so I am puzzled as to why her account wasn't terminated or at the very least a separate account at home with password protection. Though sometimes it goes back to trying to trust your child with baby steps.

you realize a kid who babysits or has an income or birthday money can buy themselves an internet device and tap into the parents' wireless...it's just that when we 'just say no', they usually find a way around that if they feel it's justified. (those little whilte lies)

Nevermind tapping in to the parents' wireless, what about the neighbours? As I type this right now there are 12 wireless networks within range and at least 3 of them are unsecured. It is sooo tempting sometimes to connect to the unsecured networks and enable the security settings for them!! Also, just about everything it seems these days can access the internet via WiFi. As a parent that does pay attention to what their kids are doing online (as much as I can) it can be pretty challenging to limit or take away access to the internet. It can actually be pretty frustrating/humbling to realize just how little control you really have over your childrens ability to access the net.

As I mentioned, I do try to pay attention and monitor what my children are up to online but there is a fine line I find myself walking in that if I don't give them enough trust and freedom they would likely just start hiding their activiy and covering their tracks more. So far I have been fortunate in that I have very rarely had to step in and take any kind of action however the odd time when I did decide one of my kids needed a bit of a "time out" (I'm being very PC now, at the time I didn't exactly use that term! lol) from the internet (Facebook/Tumblr/Twitter) it was pretty disheartening to know that I really had no real way to enforce this "time out" other than trust for the most part. If they had really wanted to get online there is nothing (legal) that I could do to prevent it.

[OnTheRoadAgain]

As a parent that does pay attention to what their kids are doing online (as much as I can) it can be pretty challenging to limit or take away access to the internet. It can actually be pretty frustrating/humbling to realize just how little control you really have over your childrens ability to access the net

it was pretty disheartening to know that I really had no real way to enforce this "time out" other than trust for the most part. If they had really wanted to get online there is nothing (legal) that I could do to prevent it.

That is the truth.

[Roadster]

This whole Amanda Todd hysteria is way too intense. Somebody called her "inspiration" on the radio the other day - I think people need to look up "inspiration" in a dictionary. Next thing you know they're making Amanda Todd the movie. Media doesn't help either - it's the touchy feely story of the month, I guess.

But she is an inspiration, she took the time to show us why she was in her state of hell, what she needed and she opens a lot of eyes on their kids needs. She shows us what needed to be done if we take the time to read her right. Her message is huge,,, only those who choose not to hear her will be left in the dark, this internet thing isnt new but the steps needed to save a child the torment are nessesary, more now then even before because technology is not gonna go away. People could find you before but not nearly as easy as it is now with a site that asks you to post your where abouts,,, will it get easier? Yes, she says it hurts and she said it for all to see before she parted. She didnt just slip away without trying to help others understand hellll.

[Madhue]

It's pretty stupid to say I was suggesting it was her fault. If you can't understand the the meaning of someone's sentences, don't respond to them, sport.

I didn't claim or suggest that only the virtuous are deserved respect, you must be confusing my post with someone else's.

Nope I quoted you directly. Re read your own words, especially with your level of malcontent to her being a "sweet little angel' as the media portrays her to be. Those are your words and your more than welcome to back peddle from them if you so choose, but they are yours.

Amen to that.
This whole Amanda Todd hysteria is way too intense. Somebody called her "inspiration" on the radio the other day - I think people need to look up "inspiration" in a dictionary. Next thing you know they're making Amanda Todd the movie. Media doesn't help either - it's the touchy feely story of the month, I guess.

So by what tool do we measure inspiration? What tool?

definition you say...

inspiration [ˌɪnspɪˈreɪʃən]
n
1. stimulation or arousal of the mind, feelings

I would have to say her death got me thinking, and I did feel for the parents and this young child who was abused... so Yeah I'd say the definition fits.

hmm one who has a lack of empathy... what does that define a person as...?
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sto ... stic-trait

The thing is this, pretty simple in fact, no child is deserving of abuse, none... not for how the act online, what they wear, how they act or talk... no child is deserving of being abused. that stated if you choose not to acknowledge a child as being abused, or create allowances for such acts to be condemned then you become an accessory after the fact to such abuse. Sure media, typically social media leaps profoundly upon such events as they trigger outrage in someone momentary however if only 1 person in 1000 makes the conscious or unconscious choice to treat a child better then these acts of social media are fruitful in their own right and deserving of the limelight they expunge from Facebook and Youtube. On the flipside every /b/*bleep*, 4 Chan script kiddie (or alike sites) that affords themselves the opportunity to use such events as entertainment or seek out people like this gal as prey or mock their passing, has crippled our society by cultivating environment of that allows the tolerance of abuse for entertainment and corrupt internet memes for shock factor and human irreverence.

[Alvis]

Let's be honest here. Amanda Todd wasn't bullied, she was sexually exploited. Not saying she wasn't bullied, but the main offence against her was sexual exploitation.

You are correct but I'd like to point out tha at one time, inthe not so distant past, in fact a time some us us here lived through, even us Gen X'ers, sexual exploitation was somewhat accepted.
I can remember a time in the late 70's even in the 80's were there were peopel who believed womenw ho were victoms of sexual attacks had insome way. "asked" for it.

[Madhue]

Let's be honest here. Amanda Todd wasn't bullied, she was sexually exploited. Not saying she wasn't bullied, but the main offence against her was sexual exploitation.

You are correct but I'd like to point out tha at one time, inthe not so distant past, in fact a time some us us here lived through, even us Gen X'ers, sexual exploitation was somewhat accepted.
I can remember a time in the late 70's even in the 80's were there were peopel who believed womenw ho were victoms of sexual attacks had insome way. "asked" for it.

a small portion of society did develop a mind set that victims did ask for it, but they were outside the social norms and if I recall were redirected via social media (of that era) Jody Foster's movie in 1988 the Accused challenged that fallacy of logic.

I'd suggest that it was during the 70's and 80's that form of logic was confronted in many of the books, TV shows and and movies of that era.

[Alvis]

a small portion of society did develop a mind set that victims did ask for it, but they were outside the social norms and if I recall were redirected via social media (of that era) Jody Foster's movie in 1988 the Accused challenged that fallacy of logic.

I'd suggest that it was during the 70's and 80's that form of logic was confronted in many of the books, TV shows and and movies of that era.

If you'd heard CBC Daybreak this morning where they interviewed Kelowna high school students you'd come to the conclusion we've not moved on in our society. They basically said "bullying is part of life, being bullied makes you stronger, get over it." It was sad, shocking and a realization that the next generation is, well, screwed.
http://www.cbc.ca/daybreaksouth/news/20 ... anda-todd/

[Madhue]

a small portion of society did develop a mind set that victims did ask for it, but they were outside the social norms and if I recall were redirected via social media (of that era) Jody Foster's movie in 1988 the Accused challenged that fallacy of logic.

I'd suggest that it was during the 70's and 80's that form of logic was confronted in many of the books, TV shows and and movies of that era.

If you'd heard CBC Daybreak this morning where they interviewed Kelowna high school students you'd come to the conclusion we've not moved on in our society. They basically said "bullying is part of life, being bullied makes you stronger, get over it." It was sad, shocking and a realization that the next generation is, well, screwed.
http://www.cbc.ca/daybreaksouth/news/20 ... anda-todd/

What has happened IMHO is the tools for abuse have changed, and its become more discretely perpetrated by peers and have little or no direct consequence for their actions what used to be the kid down the street is an anonymous collusion of people on computers local and across the world.
We also have to acknowledge that what we call Bulling is in reality a volume of terms, but in the end its a learned behavior, learned in many cases from adults, adults that we trust and employ to work with our children. Teachers for example. Parents. Police.
We can not address this issue without realizing that many Bullies are not just kids... but adult in authority using means of demeaning a child into compliance or subservience. These behaviors are frequently replicated or mimicked by a young person.

[underscore]

How did you turn this:

They had a different take on the situation, saying strategies in schools aren't the answer, rather they say the answer is to help kids become emotionally stronger.

into this:

They basically said "bullying is part of life, being bullied makes you stronger, get over it."

[Fancy]

Possibly that standing up to bullies makes you emotionally stronger?

[OnTheRoadAgain]

Let's be honest here. Amanda Todd wasn't bullied, she was sexually exploited. Not saying she wasn't bullied, but the main offence against her was sexual exploitation.

Glacier the bold speaks for itself.

[OnTheRoadAgain]

a small portion of society did develop a mind set that victims did ask for it, but they were outside the social norms and if I recall were redirected via social media (of that era) Jody Foster's movie in 1988 the Accused challenged that fallacy of logic.

I'd suggest that it was during the 70's and 80's that form of logic was confronted in many of the books, TV shows and and movies of that era.

A small portion, likely larger than we know), of society still has this mindset that victims did ask for it.
Parents will ask, "what did you do (or say) to make him do that?"
Teachers will do the same. after all, it just isn't normal to be mean to someone is it? You must have done something...

With all the internet talk about this, we see teens and adults blaming Amanda for showing herself on the internet - after all, that's where it all began, they say. If she hadn't done that, the pervert criminal who shared that picture wouldn't have sent it on, so how is he to blame? And since she did that, it must be her parents fault for not watching her every minute, or not teaching her not to do that.

I'm afraid it is a larger part of society than we would like to think who always put blame on the victim. Even in the adult world.
As I've said before it is these very differences in paradigms that make it difficult for a zero tolerance solution.

[OnTheRoadAgain]

Possibly that standing up to bullies makes you emotionally stronger?

It would, depending on what happened after you did that.
If the bully backed off, great. If the bully came for revenge, not so great (it's a game of one-up-man-ship.
The bully could retalliate to the victim's retaliation involving a larger group, or even weapons.
The victim could to the same. I know, it has happened in schools and communities I've been involved with.

Therefore, it is important for bystanders to support the victim, rather than fearing the bully.
We need kids to learn that they have the power to speak out, report, and stop this nonsense at the get-go,
and we need adults and kids to learn from professionals on how to re-shift the power to those who don't yet know how to use it.

[Glacier]

Let's be honest here. Amanda Todd wasn't bullied, she was sexually exploited. Not saying she wasn't bullied, but the main offence against her was sexual exploitation.

Glacier the bold speaks for itself.

Agreed, and to put another way: Bullying is too kind of word for what was done to her. Sexual exploitation is a more accurate descriptor of the most egregious offences.

[Fancy]

Possibly that standing up to bullies makes you emotionally stronger?

It would, depending on what happened after you did that.
If the bully backed off, great. If the bully came for revenge, not so great (it's a game of one-up-man-ship.
The bully could retalliate to the victim's retaliation involving a larger group, or even weapons.
The victim could to the same. I know, it has happened in schools and communities I've been involved with.

Therefore, it is important for bystanders to support the victim, rather than fearing the bully.
We need kids to learn that they have the power to speak out, report, and stop this nonsense at the get-go,
and we need adults and kids to learn from professionals on how to re-shift the power to those who don't yet know how to use it.

My quote was taken out of context.