28 killed at elementary school

[ferri]

back on topic please! thanks.

[averagejoe]

back on topic please! thanks.

Sorry ferri! Went on to long........

[unclemarty]

From a mother who knows.

Since the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School, several people have contacted me, asking how to help the families who lost young children because our family suffered its own tragedy. After my 13-year-old son Koby and his friend Yosef Ish Ran were murdered by terrorists here in Israel in 2001, I was sure that when I went outside, the whole world would have changed. That the sky would have turned red and the trees returned to rocks. I thought that there was no way that I or the world would survive my loss.

Grieving requires a new language.

Because the language once used to speak of art projects and homework and work and what’s for dinner no longer suffices. A new language must be learned instead that questions where God is and how such pain and sadness can exist in the world and how on earth we can contain this suffering and anger which threatens to undo us, as individuals and as a community. It asks: How can we live with the absence?

I can’t tell the families how to go on because at this point there is no going on. There is only the hard business of grieving. It is a job in itself. It requires courage and patience to face the emptiness and the longing and the loss and the horror and the might have been, and the if only. If only I had kept him home from school. If only we had never moved to this town. If only Lanzo had had no guns in his house.

There is no such thing as closure for the victims’ families. But there may eventually be disclosure, a sense of mission. My family began the Koby Mandell Foundation, which runs healing programs and camps for 500 bereaved children each summer. The only way to rise from tragedy is to create meaning. And the first step in the victims’ families’ journey toward creating meaning is to receive kindness.

When your life is torpedoed there is often no way to continue. The ship is sinking and you can’t bail out enough water to save yourself. No, you are dependent on the kindness of strangers. And here is the point: it’s the community that will save these families by keeping them afloat. Even when they feel that they would prefer to drown.

Everybody is talking about gun control, which is necessary. But what keeps communities safe is talking, knowing what is going on in each other’s homes, reaching out to each other because it’s okay to ask if the other is okay.

So I say this to the people of Newtown. Continue to reach out. The grieving families no doubt are receiving a lot of help right now. But eventually that help will go away. The families will be left alone. Stay with them for the long run.

Ten ways to help Newtown’s grieving families

I would give anything not to have learned the vital importance of loving words, helpful deeds and the embrace of community. But I hope my experience can provide guidance that will help ease the pain of others.

1. Sometimes words can cheapen or even desecrate. It is important to use words sparingly. Let the mourning family set the tone.

2. Even if you missed the funeral, you can still visit or call the person, even if it is months or even a year later. It is better to make the connection. And the family needs ongoing support. They will receive a lot of attention at first, and then slowly, the attention and care fades away. Be there for the long run.

3. Even if you don’t know the person that well, the family will feel honored by your presence. It tells them that the person who is gone matters.

4. Every person has something to give to a person in pain. One person may not be good with words but can cook or bring drinks or pick up the other child from soccer. Know what you are good at and use that talent or skill to help the family.

5. Keep calling. Don’t tell the person that they should call you if they need you. You are responsible for calling them. You are there to support them. Don’t expect anything back from them.

6. Don’t ask them if they need anything. Say, I will be by on Monday to take you to the doctor or to bring you a meal or to help you with the wash.

7. Don’t tell the person you know how they feel. You don’t know how they feel. Don’t compare tragedies. And don’t tell them that you could never understand how they feel.

8. Don’t give advice or platitudes. Don’t try to solve their problems. Don’t tell them what to do or why it happened.

9. See that the children are receiving attention as well. Children often are the silent victims in bereaved families because they don’t express their pain so everybody assumes they are fine.

10. Don’t tell people to be strong. They may need to feel broken. Feeling sad is okay. If they are allowed to feel their pain, then one day they will be able to emerge from their pain as stronger, wiser, more compassionate people.

http://www.aish.com/ci/s/10-Ways-to-Hel ... ilies.html

[steelrules]

Anti gun Michael Moore talking about the real cause of these mass shootings.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAdPq87v3Kk

[hobbyguy]

For Rwede: you have it wrong, I do own a gun. I support people being able to own guns within reasonable bounds.

Semi-automatics with hundred round drums do not constitute reasonable bounds.

I saw an interview with an American combat veteran who stated that the preferred method of soldiers in the field is to leave their assault weapons in semi-automatic mode (not automatic). Not being a combat veteran, I can't vouch for the accuracy of that statement. What it implies is that the "civilian" versions, semi-automatic only, are functionally the same killing machines as the military versions.

Not having bought a gun in many years, I did some surfing to see what is out there. What the US gun industry have done, and with the backing of the NRA, is create a civilian arms race of sorts. The semi-automatic weapons, whether pistols, rifles, rim-fires, or shotguns, that are available are mind numbing in their killing potential and variety. A scary aspect of some of these weapons is that I almost think you have to be a nut or a criminal to want to own one. Who needs a 9mm handgun with 20 rounds in the magazine? Or more if you want? Who needs a short barrel shotgun with 20 rounds in the magazine? Or a 4 ga shotgun? Who needs a 22 magnum rimfire with 100 rounds in the magazine and an action that is so fast it'll darn near keep up with a Thompson sub-machine gun? The variety and subtle variations to get around regulations are incredible, as is the potential for mayhem.

Even the puny sounding 17 cal has been turned into an assault style semi-automatic...

That's why I look at it and say, we're going to have to ban semi-automatics. Not because a 5 shot semi-auto is illegitimate, but because the US gun industry has perverted the legitimate semi-auto sporting gun into a gangster's frankenstein monster. No amount of regulation in any other way will prevent the US gun industry from getting around it. No amount of regulation in any other way will prevent them from coming up with a retrofit that would turn a sporting semi-auto into an assault rifle.

If it means a buy-back, well I guess we'll have to pony up.

[steelrules]

Gandhi,

[steelrules]

Washington,

[grammafreddy]

Anti gun Michael Moore talking about the real cause of these mass shootings.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAdPq87v3Kk

LOL - sure, now MM is gonna take advantage of this and milk it for all its worth. Wonder how he plans to make maximum profit off this one. What a sleazeball.

[JLives]

Michael Moore did not take a salary for Bowling for Columbine and makes no profit off it still to this day so need to attack the messenger, we can go back to discussing the ideas. He also has refused to do any interviews as he stated he would do if no action happened after the Aurora incident.

[grammafreddy]

Michael Moore did not take a salary for Bowling for Columbine and makes no profit off it still to this day so need to attack the messenger, we can go back to discussing the ideas. He also has refused to do any interviews as he stated he would do if no action happened after the Aurora incident.

Too bad he didn't just keep his mouth shut then if he now is refusing to talk about it - which in itself, is pretty good for the sensationalistic promotion of his views. Now the media can be all over how he isn't saying anything - LOL.

[JLives]

I didn't say he isn't talking about it, I said he's not doing interviews. He is not promoting himself, he is joining the discussion on gun violence like a huge amount of people are these days. I understand you don't like him but that doesn't mean his views aren't valid.

[normaM]

So jenny, what did he do with his 27% cut> He;s worth over 50 million

[JLives]

What cut? He has stated publicly he has made no money off the movie. Can we get back on topic now?

[WTTG]

If trying to profit in the past from this kind of sleaze in the might be on topic.

How about this little item—the Bushmaster Man Card




photo from an article at salon.com

http://www.salon.com/2012/12/17/bushmasters_horrible_ad_campaign/

[steven lloyd]

I’ve come to accept that the people making arguments against gun control and for gun ownership rights are making good points. I’m going to have to agree with those who suggest the problem with gun violence in America is not so much the lack of gun control, but the culture of Americans and their propensity to quickly use a firearm to solve a problem or face a challenge. I say if Americans want every person to be walking the street carrying a side arm let them. I have no plans to visit anyway.