Pooping jogger

[maryjane48]

But new information about the mystery pooper has emerged. According to a man claiming to be "family representative", it is not the woman's fault that she is crapping in people's yards; it is because she has suffered a traumatic brain injury and she now can't control where she does her business.

[Catsumi]

Disclaimer: Dear Politically Correct Reader.
Please don't be offended.....this is a fantasy. So, read on with all senses on high alert

Chapter Ten


As pages and bales of paper issued forth from the PMO's office (no help there) the exhausted, clacking teletype finally heaved mightily and fell into silence.

The news that the mystery of the Mighty Pooper might be solved left Sherlock and his bands of men aggravated, aghast and apprehensive. Immediately, they all shouted in unison that it was a hoax prepared to embarass their ranks and sleuthing skills.

"Never fear, comrades," spake the great Sherlock, twirling his newly acquired mustachios with his ever present, dearly beloved, Meerschaum pipe. (Setting the former almost on fire). "I will personally see to it that the real, hidden perpetrator of this dastardly s tty crime be brought to justice forthwith. Accompany me, gentlemen (ladies not allowed) to the scene of the crime where we can at our leisure closely examine the evidence".

With a swirl of cape, cravat and cane, our hero clattered down the five staircases, thumpingly followed by his burly and excited men of the Special Division of Crime Investigation.

Alighting the trolleycar they made their way back to The Scene of the Crime whereupon it was discovered that ....

To be con't.

[Bpeep]

Huh?

[jimmy4321]

Did Trudeau make it to this thread too? Lol

[Catsumi]

Did Trudeau make it to this thread too? Lol

Be patient dear reader. Trudeau will figure briefly, like a candle fizzling out in the next chapter. I promise.

[Catsumi]

Disclaimer noted and read?

Good...now we are off on our recounting of the Mystery of the Pooping Jogger.

Chapter 14

Left alone in the office recently vacated by Sherlock and his merry band of bdetectives, the long suffering and generally silent secretary began to remove the piles of paper spat out by the now defunct teletype. "Excrement", she muttered under her breathe, filling the wheelbarrow with pulp fiction sent by Canada's PMO. As it happens, North of the 49th, numerous complaints of soiled lawns, driveways and public walkways did not go unheeded by the Feds, who set to addressing the issue with a will and a bottomless budget.

Into the wheelbarrow with great thumps went the studies, psychology and psychiatric reports, the Merde & Moredung report, committee reports, proposals, and, sent in error, the ill-conceived and ill-received new tax legislation of 2017.

..................

Sherlock and his contingent of men finally arrived at the scene of the crime(s), where, aghast, aggravated and appalled they saw that the firmly formed, fragrant and fusty piles had again increased in number! A great wailing, moaning and gnashing of teeth emanated from each of the 100 Boys in Blue, all gallant, hardworking men of the Special Division of Investigations. One cried out, red-faced with rage, "When we capture this curr, this churl, I personally will stitch his-her-its cheeky cheeks together with chicken wire!". Chomping his Chiclets he eschewed further comment.

Inside behind the reflective glassed window, a curtain nervously twitched. The Homeowner waited and watched, wishing the wall to wall detectives would wilt away.

Sherlock, searching his red satin waistcoat for his handkerchief to mop his damp brow, found in his fingers instead a cream colored heavily embossed envelope. Recalling that this was the last item to be spat out by the now defunct teletype which, not having time to peruse, he had tucked away for future examination.

Lighting his beloved, well used Meerschaum pipe, he moved away from his band of men to peer into this unexpected missive.


Carefully prying off the rose bright sealing wax bearing the seal of office of The PMO of Canada, Sherlock began to read the enclosed message which was accompanied by An Invitation to Dine with the Prime Minister of Canada.

To be continued....

[Catsumi]

After many months of investigation the case of the Mad Pooper has been solved:


http://theprovince.com/news/crime/myste ... 13ca46007a

You're welcome!