Pooping jogger

[maryjane48]

http://huffp.st/A8YI5rt


A jogger in Colorado Springs, Colorado, has terrorized a family by taking weekly dumps outside their home, KKTV reports. The woman has been dubbed “The Mad Pooper” by Cathy Budde, who says her children were the first people to catch the jogger in the act, squatting with her shorts down.

[dogspoiler]

What's needed is a motion detector bear spray device. Ring of fire.

[Catsumi]

So, what's the difference between a dog and the Mad Pooper??

Nothing to see here folks, move along ....

[Fancy]

Now they're hoping this story and photos posted online will help flush her out.

lol

[maryjane48]

http://glbn.ca/LOABuG

still at large . police plead with her to turn herself in

[Catsumi]

http://glbn.ca/LOABuG

still at large . police plead with her to turn herself in

Another bafflement to this s tty story.

Why are the police so anxious that they are PLEADING for her to turn up? State secrets being unloaded?

Or, Just another slow day at the detachment?

[bob vernon]

Colorado Springs is about as white a city as there is in the USA. And the jogger is white, so she obviously means no harm and taking a dump in public on somebody's lawn is no reason to get upset. If she was a black person, and there are a few of them in the Springs, she'd be tracked down good and quick and hauled into court. And if she was some kinda Muslim or something...... well, just jogging down the street would be evidence that she'd planted a bomb somewhere and was trying to get away, so that would get her arrested, or gunned down.

[Frisk]

.

[ifwisheswerehorses]

Slingshot should end it.

[Catsumi]

All the detectives, sleuths and officers assigned to this case may not know of this simple solution.

In several large apartment complexes in Toronto area where dogs are allowed, the outrage of tenants finding dog droppings here and there on the grounds made it mandatory that each dog's doodles' DNA be registered with the office of the complex. That way, samples can be quickly taken, a donor match with irrefutable proof of who the guilty owner is, and steps taken for reprisal and possible eviction. Yes, sounds crazy, but it is true that such aggressive action must be taken. The idea is spreading now that testing has become relatively inexpensive to perform.

So, all they need to do is sample each woman's droppings within the city and match the offending brick to the crapping owner. But, nowhere is it claimed that it is a woman for sure. There may be crossovers, craftily disguised as a woman, doing the dirty deed(s). Perhaps there is a roaming gang of these outlaws holding their own until the time is ripe and a lush green lawn presents itself as a depository. Cheeky, eh??

Let us keep up our hopes that the specimens have been preserved in a pristine state so as not confuse the lab results.

Sherlock Holmes could only wish for such handy technology in his day !

[Bsuds]

Shouldn't be too hard for a tracking dog to follow the trail.

[Bpeep]

If there was a national dna bank that was mandatory for registration they could easily solve this with a stool sample.

[Bsuds]

If there was a national dna bank that was mandatory for registration they could easily solve this with a stool sample.

Here's mine...

[Catsumi]

Shouldn't be too hard for a tracking dog to follow the trail.

But aaaah! Said Sherlock, puffing on his meerschaum pipe, "what preventative measures have been implemented, as the dog may wish to contribute to the pile? Perhaps dog nappies should be used?"

[Catsumi]

Skipping ahead in this little book of horrors and deep mystery, we find ourselves at

Chapter Seven

DISAPPOINTMENT TO NEW DEVELOPMENTS:

The search for dog nappies was fruitless; all dollar stores carrying such items were sold out as the public demand for these items increases hourly. They had become the new fashion rage ... Dog owners were preordering for The Christmas Season and clawing at each other's eyes to tear boxes from other shoppers arms. It wasn't wise to carry a box of dognappies and not hidden from view without burly boy escorts. Car windows were shattered to nab unguarded purchases, and tension, naturally, mounted to a white hot frenzy. The Courts were innundated with cases of robbery and assault; judges were reluctant to pass weighty fines or prison times so that the backlog could be cleared before summer vacation time rolled around.

Laboratory personnel were distraught, tearing at their curly locks, yelping that they had had ENOUGH of sampling stools (wooden and legged, mushroom oriented and fecal in origin.). "No more, we just can't do this ad infinitum, our budgets are depleted by this ongoing and never ending investigation!" they wailed aloud.

Stage direction ... (Exit, stage left, all Lab(rador) staff...collect pay at door).

The detectives, Sherlock and hangers-on gathered at the police station with hang-dog expressions on each of their visages. Some were crying, "fowl...unfair! Sherlock, what shall we do next to apprehend this vicious, anti-social Pooper and remove him-her-it from our unsuspecting, *bleep* upon populace?"

Sherlock, calmy puffing on his beloved and never absent friend, (the meerschaum pipe), replied, unruffled at the failure of his mighty police forces, "I have friends in high places within the government of the sovereign nation to the north, Canada!! I will consult with such wise council momentarily".

Aghast, the multitudes of law enforcement looked on and cried out "but, but, what can Canada (!!) offer to our investigation into the Mad Pooper case, here, in our fair city which has been poopless to date?"

Removing his cape with a flourish, (such grace; the envy of accomplished ballet dancers), Sherlock at once sat down at his rebooted computer and commenced his message with the dust of summer blazes swirling like a secondary ethereal shroud about him, and wrote:

"Hiya, JT, how's it hanging? Got a little problem here ... Piles of fresh turds left on pristine emerald lawns by an unknown evacuator. Wish to corner and pierce with pitchforks said offender. Have you pertinent advice (i just know you DO) to aid us on our search and destroy mission?"

The reply was forthcoming in a flash of electrons just weeks later, and the reply was.....

To be continued.....