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Internet dating!

Social, economic and environmental issues in our ever-changing world.

Re: Internet dating!

Postby Sige » Jun 24th, 2017, 7:48 pm

I'm sure I posted this in this thread before, but I'm only seeing the last page so here goes...

I met my wife through match.com in 1999 (she in Phoenix, me in Kelowna) and we've been together ever since! Had a commitment ceremony before it was legal and then got married when it was :) I've never been happier!
Non illegitimi carborundum est.

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Re: Internet dating!

Postby RustyCrayon » Jun 25th, 2017, 12:27 pm

JayByrd wrote:Through the mid 90's to the early 2000's, I met a number of women online (chat rooms, instant messaging) that turned into real life meetings, and some to romantic or sexual relationships. Fast forward to 2003. Now in my late 20's, I wanted to get into the dating scene, in hopes of a serious, long-term relationship. My circle of friends was static, I wasn't likely to meet a woman through any of my buddies, or through my work.

I joined Lavalife that Spring, and met a number of women in person. While there were a few I didn't care to see again (and some who felt that way about me), everyone I met was "normal" and I didn't have any bad experiences. Finally I met a gal whom I ended up marrying, and our 10 year anniversary is this fall.

There are plenty of duds on internet dating sites, but that friend of your sister, or the guy/gal who works down the hall might be weirdos too. Sometimes you just have to risk finding out.


I had a very similar experience.
Met my significant other on Lavalife. We will be celebrating our 9 year wedding anniversary this fall as well.

Before we met, we had both been on several dates with other people from internet dating sites. As JayByrd mentioned, some connections didn't go beyond the first date. But everyone seemed "normal" and pleasant. I didn't have any bad experiences either.

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Re: Internet dating!

Postby Queen K » Aug 1st, 2017, 8:56 am

http://www.msn.com/en-ca/lifestyle/rela ... li=AAggFp5

What could this guy have possibly meant by "clean"?

:135:
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Re: Internet dating!

Postby JayByrd » Aug 1st, 2017, 5:00 pm

Queen K wrote:http://www.msn.com/en-ca/lifestyle/relationships/date-said-he-likes-%E2%80%98clean%E2%80%99-women-but-wouldn%E2%80%99t-explain-what-he-meant/ar-AAp1cCx?li=AAggFp5

What could this guy have possibly meant by "clean"?

:135:


This one is puzzling. In modern vernacular, "clean" is a very general term for something that is good or positive. If that's what he meant though, it's the same as saying he likes women who are nice. Since they were talking about sex when he said it, I can only assume he meant he likes women who are clean "down there". This maybe was a cue for her to say if she is in fact "clean" or not. Pretty ambitious for the first date if you ask me, even if they were already flirting.
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Re: Internet dating!

Postby Queen K » Aug 1st, 2017, 5:03 pm

Oh right. I was thinking clean living, no tats, no drugs, no idiot behavior. But ya, I see your point.
Last edited by Queen K on Aug 1st, 2017, 9:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Internet dating!

Postby Lady tehMa » Aug 1st, 2017, 7:21 pm

Given the context, I'd wonder if he meant disease free? Or it could be related to hygiene.

Maybe I'm old, but the whole idea of even talking about sex on a first date is somewhat horrifying.

Oh, and blind date, 27.5 years together (so far), 26 married. I think it is a good idea to be friends first . . .
I haven't failed until I quit.

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Re: Internet dating!

Postby Queen K » Aug 1st, 2017, 9:15 pm

https://www.castanet.net/edition/news-s ... htm#203214

I was listening to CBC about how internet dating has spoiled the entire dating scene. It's like as if the attraction isn't instant, the most just go back to the dozens of dating profiles for the next try instead of building a relationship into anything at all much less making friends for what seems like a long period of time nowdays.
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Re: Internet dating!

Postby Loki2u » Aug 2nd, 2017, 12:26 am

Queen K wrote:https://www.castanet.net/edition/news-story-203214-4-.htm#203214

I was listening to CBC about how internet dating has spoiled the entire dating scene. It's like as if the attraction isn't instant, the most just go back to the dozens of dating profiles for the next try instead of building a relationship into anything at all much less making friends for what seems like a long period of time nowdays.


Not sure what the problem is with that? Why would I want to date somebody I'm not attracted to physically, mentally or emotionally?

It doesn't take long to figure that out when you meet somebody. Why waste anyone's time when you're not 'feeling' it?

I could be mistaken Queen K, but I think I remember you writing something recently along the lines of " if you see no future with the person you're dating, cut them loose as soon as possible." Not a direct quote I know, but it was something similar.
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Re: Internet dating!

Postby Queen K » Aug 2nd, 2017, 5:20 am

I was thinking about how many people are married to people because they took a long time to get to know them as opposed to superficial instant attraction.

And one date is not "I see no future with this person" unless each person is really laying it on the line instantly. I recall a guy talking about wanting to buy land, build a house in a rural area... I was "I'm outta here." He was describing what was my parents nightmare. I wasn't going to live that as an adult. But the other nail in the coffin was one date and he was asking if I had RRSPs. ummmm, ya, see ya later, not.

In other words, in the World of "the grass is greener on the other side of the tracks" is not letting people get to know each other at all, instead of somewhat.
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Re: Internet dating!

Postby Barney Google » Aug 2nd, 2017, 6:23 am

The thought of internet dating scares the beejingoes out of me.

H - E - double hockey sticks, why even the thought of dating in today's World gets me riled up.

What ever happened to going for a nice walk 'n enjoying a sarsaparilla together...kinda gettin' to know a person a bit?

How come everything has to happen so fast and instantaneously?
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Re: Internet dating!

Postby JayByrd » Aug 2nd, 2017, 8:46 am

Barney Google wrote:
What ever happened to going for a nice walk 'n enjoying a sarsaparilla together...kinda gettin' to know a person a bit?

How come everything has to happen so fast and instantaneously?


I think most first dates are still like that, whether they're the result of an online connection or not.

Part of the problem nowadays is that so many people live in condos or apartments. There's no parlor in the front of the house where a young gentleman and a young lady (with her chaperone of course) might get acquainted, without entering the private living area of the home.

And don't even get me started about hemlines above the ankle. :admin: :smt045
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Re: Internet dating!

Postby JayByrd » Aug 2nd, 2017, 8:53 am

Queen K wrote:I was thinking about how many people are married to people because they took a long time to get to know them as opposed to superficial instant attraction.

*snip*

In other words, in the World of "the grass is greener on the other side of the tracks" is not letting people get to know each other at all, instead of somewhat.


I tend to agree. Having some sort of chemistry on the first meeting is the expectation now, and getting to know someone in a normal, gradual way doesn't happen as much. I think the purpose of a relationship itself has shifted; it's become more about what I want to be doing right now, and does this person fit into that. The concept of unity and building something together (and perhaps sacrificing some personal happiness to do so) is slipping away, and society does little to support it.
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Re: Internet dating!

Postby the truth » Aug 2nd, 2017, 9:49 am

kelownalongtime wrote:Don't feel bad, it happens to us men too. Usually, it's "How much money do you make?" "What kinda car you drive?", "Do you own your own home?"and "How many dates we gotta go on before I can quit my job.?.



bingo .................sad but true
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Re: Internet dating!

Postby richardclank » Aug 2nd, 2017, 10:29 am

Barney Google wrote:How come everything has to happen so fast and instantaneously?


A person can die at any second. Why spend a bunch of time doing lame things like getting to know a person when fun can be had right now? I'd rather have a bunch of trophy dates that I can brag about than some "significant other" who will probably cheat on me and then divorce me.
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Re: Internet dating!

Postby the truth » Aug 2nd, 2017, 11:05 am

richardclank wrote:
Barney Google wrote:How come everything has to happen so fast and instantaneously?


A person can die at any second. Why spend a bunch of time doing lame things like getting to know a person when fun can be had right now? I'd rather have a bunch of trophy dates that I can brag about than some "significant other" who will probably cheat on me and then divorce me.


:laugh: :laugh: you do have a point
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