Internet dating!

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Re: Internet dating!

Postby Queen K » Jun 23rd, 2019, 6:30 am

"This is the power of the “crazy” label; it’s simultaneously damning and vague, playing on pre-existing prejudices against women’s emotions. It rarely results in a follow-up question, allowing the friends and acquaintances of men who call women crazy to just accept his word for it, and never consider that maybe, she wasn’t actually the problem.

The “crazy” label is an amalgamation of all the ways that men can undermine women’s emotions and paint them as irrational or illogical by using dismissive language. Women who want their boyfriends to stop cheating aren’t asking for a basic modicum of respect, they’re “paranoid” and “needy.” Women who ask for commitment from the men demanding their attention and emotional support are “clingy.” Women who get upset when they’re insulted are “oversensitive.” Women who express anger, or disappointment, or sadness when a man treats them poorly are “hysterical”, “unreasonable”, “psycho.”

In short, “crazy” is often used by men as shorthand for “a woman who expressed her emotions in a way I didn’t like.”

How many people using the internet has read or heard, "my ex is crazy"?
HUGE red flag people."


Sorry, should have it clearer that is from the article I posted.

I know someone being labeled as "crazy" right now by her mother-in-law, but I know from experience how controlling and irrational m-i-l can be too.
Last edited by Queen K on Jun 23rd, 2019, 10:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Internet dating!

Postby Trixster » Jun 23rd, 2019, 9:14 am

Queen K wrote:This is the power of the “crazy” label; it’s simultaneously damning and vague, playing on pre-existing prejudices against women’s emotions. It rarely results in a follow-up question, allowing the friends and acquaintances of men who call women crazy to just accept his word for it, and never consider that maybe, she wasn’t actually the problem.

The “crazy” label is an amalgamation of all the ways that men can undermine women’s emotions and paint them as irrational or illogical by using dismissive language. Women who want their boyfriends to stop cheating aren’t asking for a basic modicum of respect, they’re “paranoid” and “needy.” Women who ask for commitment from the men demanding their attention and emotional support are “clingy.” Women who get upset when they’re insulted are “oversensitive.” Women who express anger, or disappointment, or sadness when a man treats them poorly are “hysterical”, “unreasonable”, “psycho.”

In short, “crazy” is often used by men as shorthand for “a woman who expressed her emotions in a way I didn’t like.”

How many people using the internet has read or heard, "my ex is crazy"?
HUGE red flag people.

Men and Women both use the term " my ex is crazy" to avoid holding theselves partially accountable for the downfall of their relationship. A few days ago i met a woman off a dating site for coffee and right off the bat i sensed that something wasn't quite right with her. Very flightly and went from one extreme to the next in regards to her behavior and during our ninety minute visit she spoke very ill mannered about her ex for over an hour. While sitting there intentively listening i was thinking to myself " she's a loon"
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Re: Internet dating!

Postby normaM » Jun 23rd, 2019, 10:23 am

^^^ I am guessing no second date :/ Whenever someone has described their ex as crazy I think " wow, doesn't speak highly of you then" since they ran with them/wed them
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Re: Internet dating!

Postby alanjh595 » Jun 23rd, 2019, 10:35 am

Both men and women get to an age, where the reasons they are single, become quite easy to recognize.
We all have baggage, but not all of us have to display it. It should be stowed in the closet and never spoken of again.
Dating is supposed to be starting fresh and new, not rehashing something old.
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Re: Internet dating!

Postby Trixster » Jun 23rd, 2019, 10:58 am

normaM wrote:^^^ I am guessing no second date :/ Whenever someone has described their ex as crazy I think " wow, doesn't speak highly of you then" since they ran with them/wed them

There will be no second date! She was cute i'll give her that.
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Re: Internet dating!

Postby alanjh595 » Jun 23rd, 2019, 11:12 am

Image
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Re: Internet dating!

Postby Bsuds » Jun 23rd, 2019, 12:43 pm

There are enough "crazies" on both sides. :crazy: :crazy:
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Re: Internet dating!

Postby oldtrucker » Jul 3rd, 2019, 11:41 pm

Iamme wrote:’m a mid 50’s single female and did the Match thing. My issue was the endless emails or texts and men not wanting to meet in person. That to me is huge as there needs to be the mutual attraction imho. The one I fell for is a great guy, just not invested into a relationship right now. Legit reasons though disappointing for sure for both of us. In regard to your comment ‘not wanting to settle’, for me, it’s important for me to be attracted to someone for the personality, sense of humour, similar goals in life at this stage and ya I want to be attracted to him as well similar financial security. So if that’s not wanting to settle, so be it. I’m not interested in a relationship of convenience or casual sex, fwb etc. There’s lots of people that are. It’s not for me. I’ve also been told I’m above average looking and get a lot of looks and ya comments, but truthfully, it’s like men are more comfortable staring rather than approaching. Anyway, my suggestion is the next time you see someone you’d like to say hi to, make the move. You never know. I’ve done it, then there’s the awkward moment when he says, I’m married And just so you guys know, not every woman is #metoo . Just sayin


Hey, we should hook up.
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Re: Internet dating!

Postby normaM » Jul 4th, 2019, 6:39 am

^^ ha I snorted laughed at that line.
should have said call me maybe
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Re: Internet dating!

Postby oldtrucker » Jul 4th, 2019, 11:50 am

I just saw that post last night.
I'm surprised no one jumped on it before me.
This is the internet, topic is internet dating, she laid out very clearly what she wanted. Her description of herself indicates a degree of self confidence and a possible hot factor, and she wanted the direct approach from men.
Maybe wouldn't work as the last mid life crisis I had was really fun so I'm seriously considering having another one, possibly soon, and I would be seeking someone a bit younger.
That's okay, I haven't started the mid life crises yet , so we should still hook up anyway.
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Re: Internet dating!

Postby alanjh595 » Jul 4th, 2019, 2:56 pm

as the last mid life crisis I had was really fun so I'm seriously considering having another one

Your mid-life crisis has hit and hard. The desire to have a female in your life is evidence of that. This too will pass with time and experience.
Why do you want to take on another one and have to retrain or settle? Get a dog.

That's okay, I haven't started the mid life crises yet , so we should still hook up anyway.

UUuummm.......YES it has.

so we should still hook up anyway


Well.....THAT was about as subtle as a South bound freight train on Friday night.
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Re: Internet dating!

Postby Iamme » Jul 4th, 2019, 5:28 pm

oldtrucker wrote:
Iamme wrote:’m a mid 50’s single female and did the Match thing. My issue was the endless emails or texts and men not wanting to meet in person. That to me is huge as there needs to be the mutual attraction imho. The one I fell for is a great guy, just not invested into a relationship right now. Legit reasons though disappointing for sure for both of us. In regard to your comment ‘not wanting to settle’, for me, it’s important for me to be attracted to someone for the personality, sense of humour, similar goals in life at this stage and ya I want to be attracted to him as well similar financial security. So if that’s not wanting to settle, so be it. I’m not interested in a relationship of convenience or casual sex, fwb etc. There’s lots of people that are. It’s not for me. I’ve also been told I’m above average looking and get a lot of looks and ya comments, but truthfully, it’s like men are more comfortable staring rather than approaching. Anyway, my suggestion is the next time you see someone you’d like to say hi to, make the move. You never know. I’ve done it, then there’s the awkward moment when he says, I’m married And just so you guys know, not every woman is #metoo . Just sayin


Hey, we should hook up.


Who knew Castanet Forums could be a dating site? [icon_lol2.gif] I can add this romantic invitation to #4 of the top pick up lines I’ve received. The top four are now:
#1. “Wanna go halfers on a baby?”
#2. When in Cuba last year a couple approached me and she said “My husband and I want to know if you want to go skinny dipping with us?”
#3. (Same couple after skinny dipping, and her with make up running worse than Alice Cooper’s make up)... “My husband and I want to know if you will come up to our room with us”
#4. Castanet poster, “Hey, we should hook up”

I’m flattered oldtrucker but will graciously decline :admin:

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Re: Internet dating!

Postby oldtrucker » Jul 4th, 2019, 5:48 pm

Iamme wrote:#4. Castanet poster, “Hey, we should hook up” I’m flattered oldtrucker but will graciously decline

Wow...that was quick.
Do you have any idea of just how insecure I am and how fragile of a ego I have? Ask QK, Catsumi… They know...I get rejected all the time from them.

What a horrible and publicly humiliating crash and burn. :cry:

I feel so rejected, ugly, old... This must be what the harsh world of online dating feels like...

I made it to your 4th spot...right on. :up:

Actually I didn't think you would even see my post.
:biggrin: :130:
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Re: Internet dating!

Postby Queen K » Jul 4th, 2019, 6:20 pm

Rejected? You get over here you good looking hunk.

Iamme, you know not what you do! Are you aware that this man rescues baby birds? Has a good brain in his head, I mean, research some of his posts! Damn. If only I was single, just kidding about the "get over here" part.
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Re: Internet dating!

Postby Queen K » Jul 4th, 2019, 6:26 pm

Not to promote love and marriage or anything, but there has been ONE recorded couple who met here and did get married.
Using cash is one of your few forms of privacy: use it or lose it. 1984 isn't the only Orwell novel that needs to to made fiction again.
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