Tipping in restaurants

[Roadster]

To tip or not to tip . . . what a dilemma! I suggest those who don’t tip flat out for any reason, are the same types that don’t say thank you to anyone for anything, wouldn’t go out of their way to help a stranger, and probably lead of life of entitlement and me first please. Those that do tip have either worked in the service industry or recognize the effort that a server displays to make sure their night out is meaningful and enjoyable and offer a small token of appreciation. The rest fall somewhere in between. After many years of serving, I was tipped by 95%+ of the customers I served. The ones that didn’t tip didn’t make or break my evening because the averages always balance out in the end, and some make up for others. In the time I worked, I have never seen a regular that didn’t tip. You don’t become a regular if you’re cheap because all the staff will eventually know you and you’re experiences will be painful and slow, so these people eventually just move on and go somewhere else. So, to each their own and I will continue my traditions of rewarding good service and not frequenting anywhere it is not. Pretty simple.

You'd be very wrong, I will help anyone and I say thanks for everything but I dont believe in a percentage nor do I tip for crappy service. When anyone does anything for me it is about a thank you not money, when we need money from each other to do something we have a problem. You want your job then do a good job or count yourself lucky the boss dont see it and fire you. Its about time we all worked for the good of it and not to recieve from others. When did this change? When did a tip become part of the bill? Sorry not in my opinion and you will get what I think you deserve,,, if, anymore since this tip thing has become such a great big farce rule that we now are supposed to follow... Ha, you see it the way you do likely cos you are not doing what you should,,, to get such a payment. I aint saying work hard or work yer butt off or race against the other waiters, just be nice is all it takes. No one likes to work hard, we just like to do what we can and we can be nice about it, but as soon as you expect something from me, your customer you get nothing. When you give me a nice smile and are polite you get something and it dont go by numbers, it goes by how I feel about my experience.

[Dispatch]

Good or bad tip?

[steven lloyd]

Actually, in study after study serving is repeatedly rated as one of the most stressful occupations.

I worked in the industry for many years. I enjoyed the pace and have always been able to cope well with stress and workload demands (a byproduct of keeping myself physically, emotionally and mentally fit and that still serves me well today in another demanding position). Serving tables certainly not for everyone (especially those who like to make ill-informed presumptions) and I always tip well (20%) for good service, and still tip minimal (10%) for less than (because without making presumptions I have no idea what thee problem was and don't want to unfairly punish the server).

Interesting that you see non tipping for poor service as punishment to the server.

I guess I could have been more clear. In a situation where the server is required to pay a percentage of their cash-out to the host/hostesses and kitchen (on top of tipping out the bar), it can be a punishment to the server to tip poorly – particularly if it was not the servers’ fault for a poor guest experience.

Stress is more about how one handles it, than how much they perceive it.

Pretty sure I addressed that point. Yup – I see that I did.

I'll bend enough to say that good servers (anyone paid to do so is 'professional' by definition, even though they may not be good at their job), who understand the benefit of return customers in relation to their pay cheque, or those actually concerned about the company profits would look past the smaller picture. However, most are looking at the tips in their pockets at the end of the night.

Good servers, working in a good establishment recognize they are part of a team and that their own self-interest is served best by the continued success of their co-workers and the establishment they work in. Good management and mentoring from day one helps to instil and develop this sense of teamwork. As I said, I spent may successful years in the business as a server, as a bartender and as a manager.

(My comment was in response to someone who claims if you leave 10% tip, you will not receive good service. In this regard, the claim is that if you do not tip according to the server's expectations, you will not be treated well on your next visit. The professional server in your story wouldn't be fired by me, however the one in the story I replied to would be gone very quickly from my business - simply due to his attitude.)

I’m presuming we are in agreement that the server who suggests the guest will not be treated well at their next visit if they are identified as poor tippers has an attitude that is both short-sighted and counterproductive.

[36Drew]

Sounds like you speak from experience, right..??

I used to work as a bartender and service staff (in addition to doing groundswork during the week) at a resort/restaurant in the lower mainland in my early 20's (like, 20 years ago). Damned skippy I speak from experience.

[manmade]

haha oh wow. some seriously heated discussion going on here

some folks need to get a life

[grammafreddy]

haha oh wow. some seriously heated discussion going on here

some folks need to get a life

Nine pages of discussion, 15 posts per page and you read them all to know they were heated?

... you were saying about getting a life?

[Roadster]

Nine pages of discussion, 15 posts per page and you read them all to know they were heated?

... you were saying about getting a life?

And there is my laugh for the night, thanks GF, you topped my day

[manmade]

Nine pages of discussion, 15 posts per page and you read them all to know they were heated?

... you were saying about getting a life?

case.in.point

[OnTheRoadAgain]

Nine pages of discussion, 15 posts per page and you read them all to know they were heated?

... you were saying about getting a life?

just beat me to it.

[twofingers]

Went back and reviewed this stuff. It's still all valid. I have discovered recently that there is no 'middle ground' when it comes to wait staff. There is either really really good wait staff or really really bad wait staff. So here's my new policy - I tip 15% for all my meals, but that means I tip 25%+ to the really really good wait staff and ZERO to the really really bad wait staff.
I do not for a moment feel guilty. If I feel the wait staff has done a great job and the kitchen had dropped the ball, I tip accordingly, but I make certain that the management knows that I am happy with pne part of their operation but less so with another part. Same goes for vice-versa, but in that case I give the tip directly to the manager with an explanation.
I also avoid entirely restaurants that add an automatic gratuity dependent on the number of people in our party (even though the automatic gratuity percentage is lower than I would normally tip for good service).
I don't want to do business with an operation that takes that decision away from me.
Recently, we were at a 'chain' restaurant. There were eleven of us. They told me that, although they could not seat us at the same table, there would be a 10% automatic gratuity. I argued that we should be treated like a party of six and a party of ficve, but 'we all walked in together', In order for us to not have to pay, we would have to be seated in areas that were served by different servers.
We left. Not to interpret it as 'their loss', but it really was 'their loss'.

[Roadster]

I dont think you will get your wish of choosing who gets a tip Twofingers,,, its coming down to this,,, most of them places do the tip sharing thing and I dont like it one bit but thats how they are doing it. Also if you dont tip the waitress may have to in some places come up with what would have been the tip amount for the day according to sales so the rest get their share even if they didnt do as well, sounds like it is called tipping out so to me the whole thing is rigged againts the waiter staff,,, not fair, its all on them to be up front, do ten fold their best so the kitchen and boss can screw up and waiters pay out whats not there if that happens.
This is why I think the tip should be for the waiter staff and if the cooks who already get paid more want tips they can take the lower pay and walk up front and earn it, in the face of the public like it used to be.
Way to hit the lower paid one in the gut but people need work so they put up with it.

[twofingers]

Guess that's why I wear out a barbecue every two years. GOing out for dinner has become an intimidating experience.

[Roadster]

Guess that's why I wear out a barbecue every two years. GOing out for dinner has become an intimidating experience.

You bet, its why we arent going out as much anynore, I feel bad for the waiters but its almost as bad IMO as buying big brand clothing and supporting the company while it has sweat shops making its clothing, feed the working class? Ha, feed the owner his gold and let his working class remain as his slaves. Its sad but true, we are becoming a part of that thinking where the lower end pays out for their right to work.

[36Drew]

restaurants that add an automatic gratuity

You're not required to pay that gratuity and can feel free to strike it from your final bill. I have a policy of paying zero gratuity to anybody that outright demands one.

[FreeRights]

It's shocking how something that I find relaxing and enjoyable can be an intimidating analysis of social and psychological status for others.