How to raise your children?

[Bsuds]

I found this to be very interesting and as I watch my daughter raise hers making many of these "mistakes".

http://www.msn.com/en-ca/lifestyle/fami ... li=AAggNb9

[Smurf]

Agree very interesting and deserves some serious thought.

[Piecemaker]

A good article. Children who have too many choices are not happy children. Security comes with knowing that your parents are in charge and taking care of you. Besides "affluenza", challenges come when parents are not ready to become parents, when one parent is absent a lot or entirely, when a parent is struggling with poverty, mental illness or..., when the child has special needs and so on.
There is a lot of money put into early intervention programs for children coming from all income categories. As well, we need to assist those struggling parents because what is done for them also helps the child.
On a positive note, there are parents who face the challenges noted above, or others, and raise their children well.

[davis123]

Interesting article, and so very true these days. Parents are too concerned trying to be their kids friend or keeping up with the neighbors, and the kids are suffering - not getting any discipline or any consistent repercussions to these attitudes that this lax parenting is causing.

I have always believed a big cause of this change in parenting is due to the fact that kids are going into daycare/babysitters from a very young age, often times when they are only a couple months old, up until they go to school. The parents only see their kids a couple hours a day and that probably consists of 'do your homework, go to bed, brush your teeth' and not a lot of quality time for mom/dad/kids to have fun and spend time with each other. So the parent likely feels guilt and also not wanting to discipline in the few hours they do see the kid, so instead they give them 'choices' or make deals with the kid, instead of actually enforcing rules and consistency.

Two-parent households need one parent to stay home and raise their kids or work out an arrangement where you are with your kids the majority of the day, at least spend more time with them compared to the time they are with a babysitter. I know that will not go over well with most, but why have kids and then dump them at the babysitter for years' on end? Makes absolutely no sense to me. Unless you are a working single parent, as they would not have those same options and understandably they need income to support the family. But there is no reason for both parents to work, or if they do, they could arrange their careers around their kids, instead of the other way around. Work a night shift, work on weekends, whatever you have to do in order to spend more time with your kids.

So what would happen if one parent stayed home? You would lose out on that income, but you would spend those years' raising your kid, knowing everything about them, always there to give them a hand or an ear or shoulder, those things should be more important than a second car or a new couch or whatever it is people are buying.

[Jonrox]

It's much easier to just not have kids.

[dirtybiker]

It's much easier to just not have kids.

Well, chances are if your parents never had kids, neither will you!!!!

[Jonrox]

Well, chances are if your parents never had kids, neither will you!!!!

I'm sure glad my parents had kids... but I won't be having any.

[LtZerge]

It's much easier to just not have kids.

It's imperative you evaluate your living situation before hand to see if you can actually handle it. Having kids just because you want kids will do both you and the children a steep disservice. You're not just raising a child you're rearing another human being into adulthood and that takes a tremendous amount of care and attention.

Most people, even people who already have kids, are not actually ready to have kids.

[Smurf]

It is certainly a learning experience on both sides. No one comes completely prepared.

[Silverstarqueen]

Nice idea that one parent should stay home, but how many Dads are prepared to do that?
Oh, yeah, it's the mom's job right? And since at least a third of marriages fail, the mother is then committed to poverty and raising the children upon break up. Until these problems are solved equitably, this one parent at home idea isn't going to float.

[Lady tehMa]

Nice idea that one parent should stay home, but how many Dads are prepared to do that?
Oh, yeah, it's the mom's job right? And since at least a third of marriages fail, the mother is then committed to poverty and raising the children upon break up. Until these problems are solved equitably, this one parent at home idea isn't going to float.

Moms generally stay home because they earn less. In my experience, where that is not the case the dad stays home. I stayed home until we simply couldn't afford it. Family and friends helped us.

Many marriages fail nowadays, some for valid reasons (one should never stay in an abusive relationship, female OR male - and I have known battered husbands so it does happen) but all too often simply because of the selfishness or narcissism of the individual. "You aren't meeting MY needs" because they think it is all about them.

For a marriage to succeed, you both need to be committed individuals who are willing to sacrifice. This becomes even more important once children are on the scene. Our family has grown and stayed together because we understand the good of the whole, and that self can take a back seat. It doesn't hurt that we have family and friends who follow the same model. Our children are learning this too. I really hope they can find spouses who will believe the same though that is increasingly rare in this messed up world.

For the record, no woman has to be trapped in poverty because her spouse has left her. I know of women who have worked hard, and with the support of family have risen above the situation. The first step is to leave the victim mentality behind.

[MAPearce]

Nice idea that one parent should stay home, but how many Dads are prepared to do that?
Oh, yeah, it's the mom's job right? And since at least a third of marriages fail, the mother is then committed to poverty and raising the children upon break up. Until these problems are solved equitably, this one parent at home idea isn't going to float.

I would in a heartbeat...... Let me stay home with the chores . I do most of them anyway .

[davis123]

Nice idea that one parent should stay home, but how many Dads are prepared to do that?
Oh, yeah, it's the mom's job right? And since at least a third of marriages fail, the mother is then committed to poverty and raising the children upon break up. Until these problems are solved equitably, this one parent at home idea isn't going to float.

I never said it's the mom's job, who cares who does it, as long as it is the parent who will actually spend time with the kids and not just sleep all day or watch soaps or play video games.

The mother is committed to poverty upon break up? I guess so if she has no ambition and doesn't try for anything in life, sure she probably will be living in poverty if she thinks like that. That type of person will never succeed in anything with that kind of attitude.

This one parent at home has actually floated for a very, very long time, but a large majority of people nowadays prefer to have the materialistic crap over spending time with the kids.

I managed to stay home with my kids for 17 years, during the later years I started a home business where I could set my own hours, and then I decided to complete a university degree through online schooling and when the relationship failed I found a good job. So it really depends on the people involved and the type of ambition they have and what they want out of life, it really isn't that hard to do.

[mexi cali]

Good article and not just because it supports my own beliefs ( but that didn't hurt ).

We raised three, all of whom are forging their own lives and seem to be well adjusted. Or at least as well adjusted as any human beings are capable of.

I cringe when I hear young parents trying to negotiate with their children. It almost never ends well and the kid simply learns that if she holds out long enough, mom and dad will give in.

He mentions teaching your children humility and conscientiousness. Could not agree more.

There were no debates about food when we raised our kids, either at home or if we were out. There was not an extensive menu of choices, what with our home not being a restaurant, and vegetables and fruit were part of most meals. There also was never an expectation that they finished every last bite or they didn't get to leave the table. We always assumed that if they didn't finish it, they were full. Oh, and there was also no snacking an hour or so later if they were faking the full. That taught them very quickly that dinner was their first and best chance at filling their bellies.

Mom and dad are King and queen. They have the experience that their kids don't, they make the money and pay the bills, they provide the roof and the food and the fun and the trampoline. Parenting is not a democracy, nor should it be.

kids need to know who is in charge and parents need to respect their children enough to teach them the difference between right and wrong, hot and cold, wet and dry and who runs the show.

It isn't difficult.