The obsession with eletronics in general and kids.

[Queen K]

Right on the money in this article.

http://yourot.com/parenting-club/2016/5 ... frustrated


Just read through a few and see what you'd agree with or rebut. I found it fascinating.

[JayByrd]

I agree with virtually all of this, and I've done a fair bit of reading on the effects of electronics/screen time on the developing brain. One interesting article I read touched on adolescents, and their use of internet/mobile-based communication with their friends, instead of being with their friends in person. The response from the kids was that they'd prefer to be with their friends, but they were never allowed to.

I'm loathe to wax poetic about the good ol' days, but I do recall even in elementary school, being out with my friends into the evening, playing or doing whatever (I wasn't much for getting in trouble, so perhaps that's why I had a long leash) with my mother only having a vague idea where I was, and of course no way of contacting me. I don't think this kind of thing happens as much anymore, and it's not because the kids don't want to.

The media has skewed parents' perception of the dangers facing our children, but equally to blame is the simple mechanics of the human brain. We hear a story about a child or teen doing something horrible (or being a victim of something horrible) and of course it piques our interest, because we know it could happen to us. Our brain is now programmed to be wary of this danger, and now we're on the lookout for it. And there will always be another story like the first one, which creates a perception that the danger has now increased. In response, we keep our kids a little closer, and so it begins. The cynical call it being over-protective, but it's human nature to mitigate risk, real or perceived, and we all do it in our lives.

So it's on parents to find a balance. Letting our kids experience the world on a level they can handle doesn't mean sending them off on Stand By Me-inspired adventures. But it will probably mean leaving the front yard.

[Lady tehMa]

I agree with a lot of the article.

Generally speaking, I think that the lack of parenting is the main problem.

My husband and I have always been involved with our kids, and they certainly don't get everything they want. My son just got a phone because his boss suggested it would be a good thing. I gave him my old phone (just got it replaced at Christmas), started him off on a pay as you go plan with 250 texts a month. He used his job earnings to upgrade his phone (buying used), upgrade his plan (from $5 a month to $15 for unlimited texting, still no data).

My daughter is working and has decided that this may be the way to go herself, for when she needs to get a hold of someone. She uses facebook as a way to keep in touch with her friends and do meet-ups; they go bowling or to movies. She loves to read (like I do).

My son meets his buddies after school (when he isn't working) and they hit the Greenway on their bikes. He's planning a camping trip again this summer for a bunch of friends, in an area without cell reception (his grandparents' acreage). They'll be close enough for help if they need something, but otherwise, they're in the bush.

Both of my kids are capable of unplugging, of entertaining themselves. They are both capable of working hard and they show respect to others.

I'm not a helicopter parent. I'm not a negligent parent. I model my parenting on my own parents' because I think they did a good job. I'm seeing less and less of this middle-ground parenting, though - so many parents I have seen fall into the other categories.

[JayByrd]

Generally speaking, I think that the lack of parenting is the main problem.

And I think a lot of the lack of parenting stems from parents who are unable to overcome their own problems. Mental health issues, addiction, or just lacking the skills to manage their own life. If a parent is struggling with these, it will effect the child, and not necessarily in obvious ways. You can see how it then becomes a generational issue, passed down the line.

[forum]

My 18 month son can turn on the laptop, navigate with the mouse and start YouTube videos.

[Atomoa]

The media has skewed parents' perception of the dangers facing our children

Not the media. Business.

Creating a need or a market where one didn't exist before. Parents are scared to death and guess who is going to sell them things to make things safer? Mothers control the household budget and will pay without question if the safety of their child is involved. Mothers will watch the next 15 minutes of commercials if there is a show about child abductions in their area.

Crime has plummeted and we didn't have amber alerts and dashcams in the 1980's. It's not only safer on a basic crime rate level, but technology and CCTV's everywhere make that "disappearing child" issue fade away. I was one of those kids that left the house at dawn and played until the street lights came on as well. It's gotten 10x safer but yet there is a multi billion dollar industry that revolves around this fear that grew out of thin air. It's just yet another piece of capitalistic propaganda designed to manipulate your emotions and mind in order to make you buy things.

[george~]

I swear if we removed all the man hole covers we'd lose half our population !

[mexi cali]

I agree with a lot of the article.

Generally speaking, I think that the lack of parenting is the main problem.

My husband and I have always been involved with our kids, and they certainly don't get everything they want. My son just got a phone because his boss suggested it would be a good thing. I gave him my old phone (just got it replaced at Christmas), started him off on a pay as you go plan with 250 texts a month. He used his job earnings to upgrade his phone (buying used), upgrade his plan (from $5 a month to $15 for unlimited texting, still no data).

My daughter is working and has decided that this may be the way to go herself, for when she needs to get a hold of someone. She uses facebook as a way to keep in touch with her friends and do meet-ups; they go bowling or to movies. She loves to read (like I do).

My son meets his buddies after school (when he isn't working) and they hit the Greenway on their bikes. He's planning a camping trip again this summer for a bunch of friends, in an area without cell reception (his grandparents' acreage). They'll be close enough for help if they need something, but otherwise, they're in the bush.

Both of my kids are capable of unplugging, of entertaining themselves. They are both capable of working hard and they show respect to others.

I'm not a helicopter parent. I'm not a negligent parent. I model my parenting on my own parents' because I think they did a good job. I'm seeing less and less of this middle-ground parenting, though - so many parents I have seen fall into the other categories.

Lady T, you will understand what I mean when I say in the most complimentary way possible that your kids sound odd and I wish there were many many more like them.

[Queen K]

Whenever I see that Chevy Crossover ad on tv I feel so sad for an entire generation.

They are asked who wants to play <insert game> and they are all jumping for the control.
When one gets the control these kids have no idea how to play, or be with each other.
"I'm jealous." says one kid.
They VOILA, this new innovation comes up. They can ALL play on the device. There's a controller for everyone.
The next thing we see is?

All of them with their heads down, on the electronics.

I'm sure you've all seen the ad. I don't have cable, so it's on Globaltv every day. When we watch the news, we see the ad.

I'm an sickened by this ad.

[whatwhat]

^^^ That commercial gets me every time Queen K.

If you can't even be in a car with your kids without needing to put them in front of a screen, there's a problem.

[Queen K]

Or if you have to buy a $45,000 plus vehicle because you can't imagine your kids doing what you did as a kid:

-play car games out the window, "I spy with my little eye.."
-imagining life where they see cabins, houses on hills, farms....
-thinking about things
-developing an ability to have quiet time
-developing conversational skills with their siblings
-having reflections on what they just saw, or about to see

You get the idea. No. You need a car that will only direct their minds to one thing, what someone else made FOR them. The video game.

[Piecemaker]

I cringe when that commercial comes on the television also, however how is that any different than we adults "needing" to be able to talk on our cells while we drive and have a GPS to look at (so we can drive into Lake Huron) etc.,?! The kids may as well be glued to electronics because the adults in the car are also! Or they're wearing ear buds and can't hear their children.

Technology is well on the way to controlling us, rather than being used for OUR convenience.
It's so great to see families out in the community or walking by our home interacting with each other and nary an electronic device in sight!

[Queen K]

It is. While at the Huckleberry Hound event in the park I counted few families. But the ones we did see were without electronics, visible anyways.

[synthat]

And I think a lot of the lack of parenting stems from parents who are unable to overcome their own problems. Mental health issues, addiction, or just lacking the skills to manage their own life. If a parent is struggling with these, it will effect the child, and not necessarily in obvious ways. You can see how it then becomes a generational issue, passed down the line.

One of the new problems is that parents are on their phones even more than their kids. We have long been able to see what happens when parents neglect their children because of alcohol or drugs, and now the same thing is happening with apps and other electronic distractions. When their parent is checking the phone every few minutes and "multi-tasking" on it while the child is trying to talk to them its easy to see what habits the children will pick up.

[JayByrd]

Or if you have to buy a $45,000 plus vehicle because you can't imagine your kids doing what you did as a kid:

-play car games out the window, "I spy with my little eye.."
-imagining life where they see cabins, houses on hills, farms....
-thinking about things
-developing an ability to have quiet time
-developing conversational skills with their siblings
-having reflections on what they just saw, or about to see

The beauty of kids is, they'll do this all on their own. You don't have to teach them how or force them to. The only reason they don't is because they've been directed to something else.