The Lost Wallet Dilemma

[the_anonymous]

So we have just been caught up to date with the young girl's story of losing her wallet, then generous people coming together so that she once again has her life savings and wallet in hand so she can start a bank account.

Although I am sympathetic and it totally sucks, I don't agree with how the entire situation was approached and ultimately solved.

First, I would like to say I think it's great the girl in the story was so keen on starting a bank account in the first place. Teaching financial skills to children is something Canada lacks as a whole and I honestly believe it should be taught in schools from Kindergarten up. I am not criticizing this family or this girl girl.

My thoughts are on the overall lessons we teach in our society about situations similar to this.

If my child lost my wallet,and it had a chunk of THEIR saved money in it and by their own momentary absence of focus, they left it somewhere, besides notifying the management/police/searching with my child, I wouldn't feel it was a public issue. To call a local news station with my plight which was a personal mistake.

The situation, in my opinion, is teaching the lesson that when we screw up by mistake and by our own volition, we can run to a gofundme page or media outlet to get society to fix or mistake.

I see the generosity of the community. It's amazing. And I am not saying at all that we should be any less generous than we already are!

We need to teach our children that BECAUSE we live in a generous society, people will often/if not always/ offer their help. But we shouldn't abuse that power. If we tell the community that you lost your wallet, you may not get your wallet back, but there is a good chance people will offer to replace your money.

If children know this. If children expect this. It may turn out disastrous because as we often complain about millenials, the new generation we are raising may begin expecting to be 'reimbursed' for mistakes that they can claim were 'by accident, OMG help'. Perhaps even becoming careless if they know society can be relied on to fix it. We may see more fraudulant cases of this happening. It would become difficult to find the real from the fake.

Personally I think I would have said tough cookies to my own child. It was a lesson in how valuable it was. Now, of course, I would help come up with an alternative to solve the problem with them, as a parent. It was a tough lesson, but together we would work something out in the end, I am sure.

Please weigh in?

[SmokeOnTheWater]

http://www.castanet.net/news/Kelowna/173036/Girl-smiling-ear-to-ear

[oneh2obabe]

Original story w/update
http://www.castanet.net/edition/news-st ... htm#173036

Happy ending but

1) Why not take the child straight to the bank to open an account before doing some errands?
2) If it was absolutely necessary to shop first, why didn't mom put the child's wallet in her purse for safekeeping?

[JayByrd]

I actually agree wholeheartedly. It was a personal matter, and reaching out to the community, while effective, was not appropriate. I get that they weren't exactly begging for money, but they must have realized how the community would respond. Like you though, I'm not going to go any farther than that in criticizing this family or the child. A very sad situation was resolved in a positive way, and I don't see it as a bad thing. I wouldn't have gone there though. And even though I disagree with how the parents handled it, I have empathy too. If this had happened to my son, I'd want to move mountains to fix it for him.

[TreeGuy]

Hard lessons in life are the best ones! Nuff said.

[the_anonymous]

Also I was thinking, from the lesson I learn in Japan,

The Japanese people have an instilled value from when they are young (its taught from DAY 1) to return ANY money or wallet they find to the police (which have small outposts all over a city where two police are often stationed, instead of one main branch).
Children are taught NOT to take money they find on the street. Even it is a dollar. They will automatically return it to a police box (they are called Kobans). It's kind of a badge of honor for small kids to get a little claim sheet from a police box that they returned something of value that was found. Even if they owner of that 1 dollar is never found, it was returned and not taken.

This is such a deeply instilled value that even adults will automatically do it. This is what we need to be teaching. That something of VALUE is not claimed as your own if you find it. Someone is missing it. And it needs to be returned.

I lost my WALLET in TOKYO and got it back a week later from the cops.

Also, I love the fact in Japan there is 0 panhandling. The homeless would never ask for money EVER, because they understand it is their choice to be homeless. Not even buskers ask for money.

[bluewater]

A GOFUNDME was also set up on August 12th to replace the girl's lost life savings. With the money people donated after the story was put on castanet and the funds donated from GOFUNDME,she will have more than her initial savings.

[forum]

Great post Anonymous. I've had great experiences during my few trips to Japan. A great and honorable culture.

[Silverstarqueen]

Just as the Japanese children learn from a young age to return lost money, perhaps this girl will also learn a lesson or two. Obviously, a) to be more vigilante with keeping track of her wallet and b) to be kind to others who have encountered some misfortune, help them recover or make it right. Will they learn to be more careless, or will they learn that a lost wallet, while serious, is not the end of the world, that by reaching out for help, or by helping others, we can make it through these little catastrophes. Maybe she will be inspired to really set out to help others in need.

[Veovis]

At this point after the other gofundme and sob stories that people run to the media about I really hope there was a wallet to begin with.

Personally I don't get it, if my kid lost his wallet with $380 in it I don't call the new station I would find some way that he learns his life lesson as well as finding a way to give him some of the money back without him learning the ever rampant "I don't need to responsible"

I also second the fact the bank would have been the first stop not a later one while out and about.

[Bunnyhop]

Original story w/update
http://www.castanet.net/edition/news-st ... htm#173036

Happy ending but

1) Why not take the child straight to the bank to open an account before doing some errands?
2) If it was absolutely necessary to shop first, why didn't mom put the child's wallet in her purse for safekeeping?

Very irresponsible of the mother to let a 10 year old hold onto a walket containing $380. That should have been the first lesson in responsibility taught to the child. If something is valuable, you take care of it and take steps to keep it safe.

[Silverstarqueen]

Or, if I had given my child a large sum of money, I would have watched them like a hawk, and if they left it somewhere, catch the error,make it clear that I would not trust them again with that task for some time. Maybe the child should have had trials with looking after a smaller sum first. At any rate, I very nearly lost a large chunk of money myself, so I understand that mistakes happen. heck, people are forgetting their kids in their car for hours at a time, how much more difficult to keep track of a wallet? i can't imagine ever forgetting my child in a car, but I guess anything is possible.

[Graham Adder]

A whole lot more positive lessons could have been learned from the loss of that sum.
Teaching the child to hold their hand out or to take, serves only to reinforce a pattern of wants over needs.

I'm always surprised by the "go fund my sorry excuse" reasoning people use to ask for hand-outs.
Begging on the sidewalk is frowned upon, but when someone does it through "go fund my sorry excuse" it's received well, supported beyond EXPECTATIONS and becomes somewhat of a lottery win for those on the receiving end.
Just because you fell off your bike and banged your melon riding three blind mice, doesn't put you in any better predicament than the brain injured guy begging downtown, yet because of where the begging occurs, we savor it with sugar rather than vinegar.

The Joe Publics that jumped aboard the @#$%-wagon on this one are as pathetic as the father that put his filthy hand out in representation of his young child.

What a mess we have to clean up.

[JLives]

I have returned several wallets over the years that were full of cash. To the chagrin of those around me which pee'd me off. Some of them had the mindset that if you didn't take the cash, someone else would so you may as well. I turned them in, cash intact, regardless. I grew up with a single mom who left her purse on top of a cab once and it set us back for months. If it's not yours, it's not yours. Period.

[Graham Adder]

I have returned several wallets over the years that were full of cash. To the chagrin of those around me which pee'd me off. Some of them had the mindset that if you didn't take the cash, someone else would so you may as well. I turned them in, cash intact, regardless. I grew up with a single mom who left her purse on top of a cab once and it set us back for months. If it's not yours, it's not yours. Period.

I've been on both ends.
I've always given back what's not mine.
I lost my entire pay one pay day and the person that found my bills scattering in the breeze ran around and collected them all. Not one bill missed.
I also dropped a wallet full of grocery money, plasti-cards and I.D. stuffs. By the time I got the the cashier, my wallet had been returned to the front desk, and they promptly handed it to me when I realized at check-out time that I'd lost it.

Working in the trades is another place I see great things happen regularly. People misplace expensive tools, and others look out for them...often. It always makes me feel better about people when I see them do what is right.