Nobody wants your parents stuff.

[Silverstarqueen]

I cleared out a bunch of stuff for my Dad after Mom passed away (with his permission). I sorted it, prepared to send some to thrift, disposed of some, a few things had sentimental value. This took me weeks in my spare time. After several weeks another family member suddenly calls up and says she wants this or that, which by that time had been sent to thrift. She knew the day after I took the stuff home that I had it, never called (or offered to help). Then after all that time, when I had got rid of most of it, she calls up. And I was the bad guy.

[TylerM4]

Had a similar experience. Splitting up the stuff almost always leads to family friction.

Grandma wasn't at her best and didn't organize/control the process very well at all. Just about all of us were left frustrated as a result. Thankfully, we could all blame Grandma and ultimately it was all her stuff to do with as she pleases. I think she was trying to "take control of the household" now that her husband had passed but just got way too flustered and overwhelmed to do it properly. To the point that she doesn't even remember who she gave what to and is convinced "multiple items" were stolen in the process. Items that nobody would steal like a 3 year old car battery. There were many times when one of us had to step in and say either "Grandma, why would you give that away? You're going to need a xxxxx at the new house!" or the opposite "Grandma, why the heck would you want to keep that?" Only about 50% of the time we were able to successfully talk her out of an obviously poor decision.

It's not that she's making these errors. She's a senior who's doing darn well living alone and I expect these sorts of things to come up. What concerns me is that when it happens it's never her mistake. It's always someone else that's done something wrong. We'd like her to stop being so stubborn and actually consider that it may be her that's making the mistake. At least that way she'd be willing to try again or consider trying something different, etc.

[Silverstarqueen]

Your Grandma probably has early stage dementia. By age 80 or so it's very common, and it creeps up gradually. Her mind is playing tricks on her, so she assumes that there must be some other cause for disappearing items. The ability to plan for the day gradually goes downhill, let alone plan to put some piece of equipment or furniture together. Even seniors who are managing not to badly on their own, can still put a meal together, or wash their dishes, or get dressed, may have major difficulties with some tasks, like organizing their belongings or doing the laundry, or getting a few groceries, or cleaning out their fridge. So just accept that, and help them with the more critical tasks (like that bacteria laden stew sitting in the fridge for a week or so). Or , hire household help, yes the senior might be offended, but sometimes they need it, and you may not be able to be there regularly. With help, many seniors can stay a home several more years than they would otherwise. Some go downhill a lot faster than that, so you have to keep an eye on things. Are they able to pay their bills, or should someone be doing that for them? Can they make a doctor's appointment and get to it, or should someone be taking them? and so on. Just because they could do it last month, or last year, doesn't mean they will be able to do it next month or next year. Things change.

[60-YEARS-in-Ktown]

If your parent was a machinist,I would be interested in some of their stuff.
If they were involved in motorcycling in their early years and had anything, I would be interested..
If they collected pre 80,s advertising, or gas and oil company stuff, I would be interested...
Feel free to PM me..

[dirtybiker]

If they were involved in motorcycling in their early years and had anything, I would be interested..

Hey, that right there is pretty crafty !

I want their motorcycles and stuff too !

[mexi cali]

I've seen elderly folks that can barely manage their own homes but refuse to downsize or move into assisted living of some type.

Maybe so. But they kept it till they closed their eyes for the last time. Close to their stuff. Stuff that mattered to them and that, when you're at the "that's all she wrote part of the play" is all that matters.

[Bsuds]

I have a 38 year old Male I'm storing in by basement.

Free to anyone!

[Queen K]

I had a good conversation today about the great wealth transfer occurring all over North America. This is it folks, some day all that stuff will be yours.

Yard sale anyone?

[60-YEARS-in-Ktown]

I look like the guy on the right, and my storage unit is almost that full
And its 40 feet deep.......sigh.....

[Queen K]

I've been contemplating what is going to happen to all my stuff, I'm at the cusp of wanting to wind it down completely.

[Bsuds]

I had a good conversation today about the great wealth transfer occurring all over North America. This is it folks, some day all that stuff will be yours.

Yard sale anyone?

Hey that's Bmans garage now!

[Smurf]

Now I'm depressed, I've been saving all that good stuff for my kids.

[sislonski]

My parents manage an apartment building and my dad shared an incident with me about a couple who had to be evicted, they didn't have enough money for gas for their car to leave, let alone a moving van. They were faced with having to leave everything behind. My parents feeling pity for them, gave them a generous amount of money so that they could afford gas, food to get them to their destination. They loaded up their car with what one would think would be there their most important belongings with barely enough room to even fit themselves into the car.

The next day my parents task was to clean out this couples apartment. There sitting on the living room table were photo albums, not with just holiday photos, but vintage family heirloom photos with family history and their wedding album etc. and those weren't the only items that were left behind that one would think would be most important. And yet . . . They chose instead to take their big screen tv. Which took up most of the space in the car. Yup, they took material items over family heirlooms. They couldn't afford to pay rent or buy food or gas, yet they took a stupid tv when they probably can't afford cable anyway . Some people are just dumb! Had they sold some items like the tv they probably could have scraped up enough money for a moving van.

But my point in sharing the story is how much people have become so attached to meaningless items. It's mind boggling.

[60-YEARS-in-Ktown]

Addicts..

[sislonski]

Addicts..

I don't think so, but I guess it depends what you mean by "addicts". They had a lot of very nice stuff, so shopping addicts maybe. . . .