Everyone says to "honor" my drunk uncle's wishes

[Fancy]

It's been over 3 years since your uncle died. Guess you have been missing him.

[Queen K]

I'm not kidding Thinktank, you are emotionally stuck with this issue. We know it's been three years because you've been talking about it ever since it happened.

When people are asking you to "let it go" it's more like asking you to stop the acid from building from within you so YOU survive the next years of your life.

[Silverstarqueen]

...it's their money, they can do with it what ever they will.

Yeah. My grandparents had two 1/4 section farms. One of those 1/4 sections went to one brother, out of
a family of nine. It's how the family decided to do it. It's not fair that my mother got nothing, but it's how they did it. That farm, my grandfathers farm, now belongs to - you guessed it -
my cousin, the same lucky jerk that hit the jackpot when my uncle died. By the way, I also got nothing from
the other 1/4 section my grandfather had.

People would wonder why I would do things for my uncle, like take him on a trip to an auto auction in Vancouver when the poor loser never saw Vancouver in his life. Why would I do it? No one else in their right mind would take time off work to
go on a trip with an old alcoholic, but I did.

I had lots of time off so I did the uncle a favor. Because I thought he would give me some land? No, because he should have lived twenty years longer, no one is dumb enough to do good things hoping someone else will kick the bucket really soon. That would be pure evil if anyone did it. I did good things for my uncle probably because of the three years I spent getting the bible driven into my head - I thought we were supposed to be good to poor less fortunate people.

And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. - the bible

Do good for less fortunate? Never again.


..

Maybe the cousin was lucky jerk, kind of like winning the lottery, twice. Or maybe he was the type that would have taken better care of the farm than one of the other relations. I tend to think there were reasons why things worked out that way.
When I look at my three sons, only one would be even remotely suited to look after the farm, so which one do you think will get it?
Therefore that is why I said (before) that people can always consult the elderly as to what their intentions are in their will. No need for unhappy surprises that way, you will know where you stand. Did you ever talk to your uncle about your hopes for his wealth after he passed?

I am really left wondering why you took your uncle to Vancouver. If you did it because you should help less fortunate people (presumably your uncle), then didn't you accomplish that?
Why would you not now do good for less fortunate? what has changed your view on this?
If it was a good idea before the death of your uncle, it should still be a good idea after.
And none of us knows exactly how we will feel when we get to end of life. Maybe things look different at that point, and we feel like rewarding someone for some strange reason (well barring dementia I suppose). Why not give money to a cat charity? , or the homeless, the less fortunate of some other type? Perhaps your uncle felt for some reason that others were more deserving than you were (right or wrong).

[Thinktank]

... "let it go"...

... "Never never never give up"...

Did you ever talk to your uncle about your hopes for his wealth after he passed?

Yeah. One day about four years ago, out of nowhere he said he's giving the farm to my cousin. He lived like a hermit his whole life, a drunken loser, but when he wasn't drunk he was actually a smart guy. And because he spent so much of his life alone, he could talk for five hours straight when visiting people.

So out of nowhere one day he says "I'm leaving my farm to M. The reason he said, is that M. has the same last name as he does (because M's father is his brother) and he really likes his own last name. For some reason that last name of his was important. My last name is different.

So I'm thinking to myself, that's stupid. And I never discussed it again. I said "Do you want to go to Walmart now?" And I drove him to Walmart like a good chauffeur. When did you ever see an old guy complain about having a chauffeur? And I'm a good chauffeur. The best.

[Fancy]

So out of nowhere one day he says "I'm leaving my farm to M.

If your grandfather gave the family farm to another uncle, where did this uncle get his?

[Thinktank]

What difference does it make? Where did you get your computer? You bought it somewhere.

[Fancy]

What difference does it make? Where did you get your computer? You bought it somewhere.

Family farms being handed down is a little different from a computer. My uncle sold his farm instead of leaving to anyone and enjoyed his money. He never had kids (didn't your uncle have kids?) and I didn't expect anything and he was a wonderful man. You want a farm so bad buy one.

[Barney Google]

If nothing else, drunk or addicted or clean, this speaks volumes on why folks should have a good and clearly

outlined and defined will. Equally as important discuss wishes with family members.

I'm entering into a slightly similar situation and it's so blasted frustrating and at times heartbreaking.

Family members pitted against each other...folks coming out of the woodwork making claims.

I hope this thread has some thinking they should address their own last wishes so their loved ones can honor them

as you want them to.

Thinktank, I am sorry for your loss and more so sorry for the anger and frustration you are feeling. Its regretful you

didn't speak up when your Uncle spoke of giving his farm to a cousin. For your own health and well being you

might have to face the fact that there is nothing that can change what your Uncle expressed wanting.

Ill and or under the influence he had the wherewithal at some point to make his wishes known.

[60-YEARS-in-Ktown]

"a drunken loser, but when he wasnt drunk he was actually a smart guy."

Am having trouble with this statement... Seems you had a poor opinion of him, all along..
He must have been smart, he managed to keep the farm....

[MAPearce]

MAPearce wrote:
But this puke should have been in jail a LONG time ago , if not shot , *bleep* on and shot again for his criminal behavior that led up this topic . His "parents" also should suffer that same fate along with the puke of a defense lawyer that got him off from the get go ...

\
Just noticed you used some "words " of mine ..

So , was your uncle someone who'd rob ,lie , cheat or steal for their next high ? Did he pose for selfies like a looser "gansta" wanna be ?.. Was he some *bleep* , looser punk that thought he was "all that" with no respect others like the PUKE I referred to ??

Or was he just a common alcoholic who didn't know any better when he was loaded to leave the car keys alone ?

There's a difference .

[Silverstarqueen]

I agree completely with Barney Google's post. With my parents these issues were discussed. One sib didn't agree with the way they set things up, the other sib (myself) had some questions. I discussed it with Dad, and he actually listened and made some changes. It certainly didn't end up being exactly equal for everyone, but I think it was reasonably fair. My sib did not agree, but you can't please everyone. Mom and Dad worked very hard for what they had, enjoyed some nice trips in their retirement, and they were well earned. So however they wanted to sort things out in the will, is their business. But I think it helped to discuss it, because I understood their thinking better.
I will do the same with my kids, I want them to understand why it is going to go the way it will be. I want them to be able to say what their preferences or wishes are. In the end it may not be exactly equal for those concerned, but it will have been done with some thought and consideration. If they still don't agree with that, well, too bad, it isn't theirs to decide.

[What_the]

Think tank. Your uncle's will is/are his wishes. Deal with it dude. I have to deal with Shiite similar before death has even come, yet I'm responsible for other's wishes. It's done as far as I can tell (i may be wrong?). I'll move on when mine is dead.

I just remember this thread/subjection from some time ago. Peace, no ill will meant

[LANDM]

Yeah. One day about four years ago, out of nowhere he said he's giving the farm to my cousin. He lived like a hermit his whole life, a drunken loser, but when he wasn't drunk he was actually a smart guy. And because he spent so much of his life alone, he could talk for five hours straight when visiting people.

So out of nowhere one day he says "I'm leaving my farm to M. The reason he said, is that M. has the same last name as he does (because M's father is his brother) and he really likes his own last name. For some reason that last name of his was important. My last name is different.

So I'm thinking to myself, that's stupid. And I never discussed it again.

So he told you his decision. He told you why. He has ZERO obligation to make things "fair" in any way. He could have left it all to the Safe The Whales Fund.
Your feeling that you were entitled to anything, even a shiny nickel, is only that.....your own feeling of entitlement. To feel you have a right to anything that your uncle had only speaks about yourself.
If you felt he "owed" you something for being the best chauffeur around, you should have made that clear at the beginning. You should have said "as payment for driving you to Walmart, I want your farm".....I'm sure he would have understood. Being a smart guy, he would have certainly honoured your wishes as that would seem both fair and balanced.

Maybe you have another non-immediate relative that you can shuffle your entitlement onto?

[Bsuds]

Maybe this thread id just another Troll by TT to see how people react?

Is that what you're up to TT? If you are looking for posters to agree with you it looks like you came to the wrong place.

[Hassel99]

I think it's prudent to ask TT if they have will written for themselves, and if so why?