HAPPY Father's Day!

[Queen K]

Definitely change the Will.

BC Nature Conservatory is a worthy cause trying to save habitat for animals and plants.
SPCA is helping animals. Today they held a yard sale to raise money for themselves. Cut backs everywhere.

Pick a charity.

If you've been bailing out ungrateful ingrates for years, there's an internal problem in both of them and it started years ago.

Leave them NOTHING. Take more vacations, see the World if you can. But do it.

[Queen K]

Well that's where the path went.

Happy Father's Day means quite a few things to men. Like our OP is saying, sometimes it's just painful. I suspect our OP is going to find out that all that "stuff" isn't going to fill the hole in the soul. Not like having a call to the boys to say "what up" you guys get so freaking lazy that you expect your wife to do everything, even Father's Day stuff FOR you?

Who else here expects "the wife" to fill in the social stuff all the time?

I disowned that encumbrance years ago. I am responsible for my own happiness. I still have to ask, "What do YOU want to do tonight", but I never have to watch anything on TV that I don't want. I always get what I want for supper, but a roast beef dinner will last 6 days in leftovers.

By "encumbrance" you mean the woman who had your children?
How did you and her get a long in the home when your boys were growing up?

[Bpeep]

SPCA is helping animals. Today they held a yard sale to raise money for themselves. Cut backs everywhere.

Pick a charity.

Spca is only helping themselves. Their paid board of directors are fueled by profit. They don't want anything coming in the door unless it is money or easily saleable .
If an animal has no or little value its time is limited before its euthanized. They get huge govt grants. They are not what they like people to think they are.
There's much better charities that are also registered non profits with volunteer boards of directors and 100% goes to the animals and all animals are treated equal.
The okanagan humane society is one that should be considered.

[Bpeep]

Steppenwolf, you come across as if you feel your children owe you something.
They may not know what it is, but if its an action or words that you feel they owe for no other reason than the fact that they exist because of you, I think you are wrong.

Have you considered that they may be unaware of your expectations?
I don't recognize any holidays or special occasions for what society wants us to, fathers day mothers day xmas birthdays valentine's etc.
I never buy or give any cards or gifts, I've never made any effort to go to my parents at xmas, but they know I don't recognize those occasions and my kid knows it too.
My kid doesn't recognize them either. I know many who don't.

Being upset with your children because they made no effort to contact you when you expect them to is foolish.
Do they know they were to contact you? Was this agreed on?

It's about as foolish as me being upset at you or Queenie coz you guys never called me today.
Queenie never called so I get depressed go to the bathroom and slash up in the tub? Thats pretty stupid, don't ya think?
She didn't call me yesterday and likely wont tomorrow either, so it would be foolish of me to be upset because of it.
Did you call them? No?
Being upset with them because they didn't call is about as immature as they being upset with you coz you didn't call.
Or if Queenie or me didn't call.

Sorry to sound a bit callous, but nobody is responsible for your happiness but you, and nobody owes you any interaction or communication just because you expect it.

[Bpeep]

I won't threaten them, because then I could never be sure of their true feelings. I will not buy there love. My love for them has always been unconditional, until today. They will never know how much they have given up/lost until it is too late. I will make arrangements with my lawyer and make changes to my will in the coming weeks. They won't be told and they can wait until my death to find out how much pain they have caused me today.
I have bailed both of them out when they needed it for 30 years, even as recently as 6 months ago, I have never been repaid or even received so much as a token towards a payment.
Today marks the end. All it would have taken was a phone call or an email letting me know that they thought about me for 1 minute.

To all the other fathers, I hope you had a better day than I have.

I call bultaco.
Based on this statement, I say your love for them comes with all kinds of conditions.
Ever think there's a reason why they don't call?

[whatwhat]

I call bultaco.
Based on this statement, I say your love for them comes with all kinds of conditions.
Ever think there's a reason why they don't call?

This is my thought exactly Bman. There is always 2 sides to every story, and all we are getting is the original posters side. And it seems to be a very sad, angry and bitter side. It would be interesting to see how the children view things.

My mom (and aunts) were/are in a similar situation with my grandfather. According to my mom, he was an abusive and mean man but has done well for himself financially. Over the years, he has become even more angry, and if his daughters don't do what he says, he has threatened to cut them out of his will and cut off all contact.

Let's just say mom and aunts could not care less about the money, and are happy to not live a life of threats and angry, controlling emails, phone calls, and visits.

[Queen K]

I wonder how many men got forgotten yesterday, overall.
Not just Steppenwolfe.

How many men leave it to their partners/wives to look after ALL the social calls?

How many kids woke up today saying, "DOH, gotta call dad today and apologize."

[Queen K]

I'm going to say this: To every guy who is living with a woman right now and you DO NOT have children: But you WANT to have children.

Are you using her til the "right woman comes along?" To have children with that is. A family. but the woman you're with isn't the one you want to envision yourself with? Is she someone you envision having children with and having those "Happy Father's Day" celebrations for the rest of your life?

If not, if it's true that you can't: you've got to do the right thing. Set her free. Yup. If you want to be a dad, but not with the one you're with: Owe up. Otherwise you're just using her as a recreational sex toy until the right woman comes along to settle down with.

Do you think I haven't said this to women? Yup. If he's not the one, you owe it to him to break if off now.

Quit using people as if time doesn't exist.

[MAPearce]

I didn't get a call from my bio kid either . But that may be because I tried to guide him in life and his mother and her "side" of the family coached him into believing that he should receive his life delivered on a silver platter ... Now that he's an adult and they're almost out of money , things ain't going so well AND I'm sticking to my "guns" and refusing to pony up and put trinkets on that silver platter . ..

So I didn't get a call from him ... big deal .

What meant more to me was the step son waking up and yelling out HAPPY FATHERS DAY MIKE !! And the hug from the step daughter before they left to see bio dad ...

In short , some dads may not "deserve" a fathers day wish but some of us who really did try to make a difference only to be defeated by the "in laws" are allowed to just . not . want . them ..

Hang in there Steppenwolf

[Steppenwolf4]

UPDATE:
My daughter did call today and said, "Happy fathers day".
She explained that she was too busy yesterday to call.

i am still angry that she couldn't find 1 minute to call yesterday. It would have made such a great difference to my present life and to her future life.

Too little, too late just cost you a million $$$$.

[Bpeep]

Sounds to me like you're superficial as hell.
As for me, I never once called my mom or dad on mother's or fathers day, and if I did, it certainly wasn't to recognize some calendar ritual.
If calling them was a condition to an inheritance, I'd pass.
I wouldn't want anything given to me by anyone if there's those kinds of conditions attached.
I wouldn't call you either.

[Steppenwolf4]

Sounds to me like you're superficial as hell.
As for me, I never once called my mom or dad on mother's or fathers day, and if I did, it certainly wasn't to recognize some calendar ritual.
If calling them was a condition to an inheritance, I'd pass.
I wouldn't want anything given to me by anyone if there's those kinds of conditions attached.
I wouldn't call you either.

.Okay then....YOU are out of my will too!

you still want to get together for drinks on Thursday?

[Bpeep]

I'll call you if you'll buy.

My kid lives in the basement and I don't even want her to shout up the stairs. I prefer an email.

[Steppenwolf4]

I'll call you if you'll buy.

My kid lives in the basement and I don't even want her to shout up the stairs. I prefer an email.

OH....I 'L L buy alright. I got a whole lotta newly released cash to spend today.

[Bpeep]

You got it today or you want to spend it today?

Maybe give some to my kid, so I won't be so guilty leaving her nothing.

I could use some cash too.
And some things.
I'll call you Daddy.
Or I'll call you, Daddy.