#MeToo

[Merry]

Society does have a hard time accepting that some women beat up men, mainly because it's assumed that the man is bigger and stronger and therefore able to defend himself.

ding , ding ,ding ... WE HAVE A WINNER !!!

But that isn't the way it goes , right ?

Women beat men . Also , they are guilty of sexualizing men but don't get the same "scrutiny" as men that do it because they are women , which is my point....

And it may be a good point, but it is a different issue than what's being discussed in this thread.

BOTH situations need to be addressed, but it would be wrong to deny the resolution of one just because the other remains unresolved. Society needs to work to improve all issues of perception versus reality. But they can only be dealt with effectively one at a time. And this thread is about the public perception of sexual harassment and sexual violence versus the reality. Whereas the situation you describe is about domestic violence, which is equally important but a different issue which should be discussed in a different thread.

[Green-light]

#CanGuysPlayToo?
if they can, then that pretty much covers the adult population, and perhaps back further than adulthood.
According to the definitions I read in this thread, we have all been victims of sexual assault or abuse in some context, on some level.
This movement had no credibility from the get-go. It has no value in that we can all make the claim, #MeToo.

I agree with points made but missed by other previous posters. It's a two way street that I don't think needs to be eradicated all together. People need to be able to express their sexuality. It's part of the human animal. Strutting feathers, so to speak.
That said, there has to be control. On both sides, or is that all three sides? Who knows these days?

I think everybody needs to stop dressing like they just got slammed on a car hood three minutes ago.
Why do all guys want to show off their insecurities by dropping their pants around their knees and letting all the Dom's get an eye on their branded boxers? Pull up your pants, and stop advertising your G,B,Q,T or + side.
Enough with the senseless, meaningless tattoos. Enough of the 'roids and MMA, gangstah (ginkstah) wannabe crap. Gain some experience(s) and self confidence for christ's sake. You're making us real men nauseous.
Girls, where do we even start?
GordonH isn't wrong in pointing out that girls objectify themselves every day.
Fancy replies with the defense of wearing push up bras to at least have a bit of a figure.
That's the defense?
I'd say the gal's need a new speaker.
That was a huge fail.
Girls need to stop acting and dressing like they want to be noticed by every guy around.
Stop dressing and acting like you make the big bucks wearing off your lipstick. If you want respect, earn it. Men have to do the same. Until we earn respect, there are plenty of women ready and willing to paint all men with the same brush.
We deal with it.
We prove ourselves to those that matter, and show self respect by the way we act and present ourselves.
That's how the world works.
If I want to be considered a blow-up doll, I'll dress like one and hang out (literally) at the rainbow cafe, but I don't.
I dress and act like I have self respect.
Amazingly, when one has self respect, they find themselves respecting others around them as well. It's especially easy to share respect with others that display and act like they are also self respecting and respectful people.

If you dress and act like a *bleep*, expect to be treated like one.
If you dress and act like a mentally delayed FAS suffering, 'roid ape, expect to be treated like one.
This could be a list that goes on and on.

Point is, it's a two way street, and we all need to play a part in controlling where this is going, and sharing respect for each other.

Both ways.

[Fancy]

This movement had no credibility from the get-go. It has no value in that we can all make the claim, #MeToo.

I doubt everyone feels they've been harrassed.

[JLives]

The point of #MeToo is to show just how widespread this issue is. And to cut out this victim blaming garbage. We won't make progress on this issue if the focus is on how women can dress to stop males from abusing them. It's time to have the conversation on how men can treat women better and stop abusing them. I was a child the first time it happened to me by a male babysitter. Tell me how I could have changed my behaviour to stop abuse against me? How could the patient in a doctor's office, student in a classroom, lab partner, student of a coach or the thousands of other situations where abuse occurs have changed their situations so as not to be abused. Stop blaming abuse victims!

[Fancy]

Fancy replies with the defense of wearing push up bras to at least have a bit of a figure.
That's the defense?

No, it's not a defence but a very real issue with some above the waist clothing that need a bit of filling out for the clothing to hang properly. One doesn't have to show cleavage if that's what you were getting at. Some people will never understand about clothing but that's ok. The topic is about harassment, not choice of clothing.

[alanjh595]

For me, as a male, I am very conscious of the women around me and do my very best to NOT be seen as predator/dirty old man/pervert/etc. I have become so sensitive to the women's issues that I now feel very uncomfortable in an elevator situation where it is just me and a female. All I can do is look at my feet and take a corner as far away as I can get from her.
By doing so I know that I could be sending out subliminal messages that would be in my favour. I am consciously trying to ensure that I am not being thought of as someone that is a threat to this woman.
It is really sad that I can not interact with a female in a non-confrontational manner and just chit-chat to pass a few moments of time together.

[Glacier]

I have mixed feelings about the #MeToo thing. Good on the CBC for discussing this on The Current.

In general I support the #MeToo campaign, and think it's important to understand how widespread sexual assault is.

There are degrees of harassment, however, and it seems all forms of assault from cat calls to full on gang rape are lumped into the same hashtag, although that's not entirely clear.

Thanks to Hollywood's promotion of sex, all women are going to get unwanted sexual attention, and that's wrong, but rape is several degrees of wrong above that. It's confusing over whether this #MeToo thing is about rape or unwanted sexual advances.

In either case, it's only like 1% of men who are committing the violent crimes including rape, so we need to somehow be narrowing our focus on them, and not broadening it to include all men (or a large segement of men).

[Lady tehMa]

I have mixed feelings about the #MeToo thing. Good on the CBC for discussing this on The Current.

In general I support the #MeToo campaign, and think it's important to understand how widespread sexual assault is.

There are degrees of harassment, however, and it seems all forms of assault from cat calls to full on gang rape are lumped into the same hashtag, although that's not entirely clear.

Thanks to Hollywood's promotion of sex, all women are going to get unwanted sexual attention, and that's wrong, but rape is several degrees of wrong above that. It's confusing over whether this #MeToo thing is about rape or unwanted sexual advances.

In either case, it's only like 1% of men who are committing the violent crimes including rape, so we need to somehow be narrowing our focus on them, and not broadening it to include all men (or a large segement of men).

That is true. I have been catcalled at, but it was never in a rude or leering way. The last time it happened - a decade ago - I did a little curtsey and smiled, and he tipped his hard hat, then went back to work. It was rather nice, actually.

[Silverstarqueen]

So it seems too complex of a concept for some to understand that #MeToo includes sexual harassment and sexual assault.
Anyone can look up what is sexual harassment, it's been discussed adnauseum.
Sexual assault, well if you don't know what that is, google it. There are so many resources these days. Now I can understand that a 12 year old might be confused as to what is appropriate behavior, but grown men (and women) certainly can figure out what is or is not appropriate.

Why is this so complicated? Are all men sexually harassing OR sexually assaulting women? Of course not.
We are not talking about idle chit chat in an elevator. When I am in an elevator, I have no particular desire to make idle chit chat with a female stranger next to me. No one has to cower in the corner. I do not accidentally brush her private parts as I am standing there, I don't stare at her cleavage if she had one, because, I have seen cleavage before in my lifetime.
For those who are truly curious about how many women are talking about sexual harassment, I don't think that has been identified, but it's a lot apparently, probably most women. For those who need to know how many of this MeToo group is talking about sexual assault, I think it varies by age and demographic, but it seems current polls/studies come up with about 1/5 women. So if a particular woman says MeToo, why would anyone care if that particular woman is talking about sexual harassment, or sexual assault? Why would it be anyone's business if it was a domestic sexual assault, at work, in the street, or as a child or an adult? What difference does it make if the perpetrator was male or female? And if you haven't figured it out by now, no it makes no difference how the potential victim is dressed. These are all just excuses that abusers come up with to excuse their abuse. And it is obvious they are doing just that.

[LANDM]

The point of #MeToo is to show just how widespread this issue is. And to cut out this victim blaming garbage. We won't make progress on this issue if the focus is on how women can dress to stop males from abusing them. It's time to have the conversation on how men can treat women better and stop abusing them. I was a child the first time it happened to me by a male babysitter. Tell me how I could have changed my behaviour to stop abuse against me? How could the patient in a doctor's office, student in a classroom, lab partner, student of a coach or the thousands of other situations where abuse occurs have changed their situations so as not to be abused. Stop blaming abuse victims!

Apparently, from what Green-light says, you could have stopped dressing like a *bleep*....in those skanky kids clothes, or skanky lab uniforms etc.
Seems like he has the solution for women.......and men too, now that he has learned not to "hang out, literally, at the rainbow cafe".

A Handsmaid uniform would likely solve things for the gals of all ages and activities.

[liisgo]

The point of #MeToo is to show just how widespread this issue is. And to cut out this victim blaming garbage. We won't make progress on this issue if the focus is on how women can dress to stop males from abusing them. It's time to have the conversation on how men can treat women better and stop abusing them. I was a child the first time it happened to me by a male babysitter. Tell me how I could have changed my behaviour to stop abuse against me? How could the patient in a doctor's office, student in a classroom, lab partner, student of a coach or the thousands of other situations where abuse occurs have changed their situations so as not to be abused. Stop blaming abuse victims!

Why is it so important to keep this as only a one sided gender issue? Why do some try so hard to keep it, control it, talk about it, and refuse to acknowledge everyones roles in it? The list one posted pretty much covers everyone at some point in their lives.
Meaning it is not a gender specific issue.
So why, do many on this site continue trying so hard to keep it as a one sided victim issue.
Maybe to move forward, honesty, acceptance needs to take place by "ALL".
Ignoring the full scope of this issue and the others that have experienced it is in fact being sexist and discriminating yourself is it not.

[Glacier]

Why is this so complicated?

Hey, that's my question! It doesn't have to be complicated, but it's becoming so by the puritans who want to regulate your sex life to oblivion. http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/prepa ... le/2589184

P.S. Consent is NOT like making tea. http://www.spiked-online.com/newsite/ar ... fIA8IiQzcv

[liisgo]

It is actually sickening the complete ignorance and acceptance of some. The total refusal to acknowledge the truth.
Society has taught, brainwashed us all so bad that we cant even begin to deal with issue's because of it.
We people need to fight so hard to have issues such as this kept to a specific???
Look, in my large office we have a new worker that has done modeling at a high level. Including modeling underwear for men.
In the office, every day, the female workers, google, stare, talk, comment sexually about him, to him etc.
I've seen all but one of them at least once staring at his physic. I've seen them sharing his modeling pic's around the office.
Talking in groups about him. Some are trying very hard to land him as their next man. And yes, they are using sex appeal to do it.
Now, Why is it so hard for you to acknowledge that yes, you women do the exact same things that you complain about.
Why is it so important to keep it only one sided.
Even worse to try so hard to fight for yourself that its only one sided?
Yes we have a problem, Why cant you admit that?

[Fancy]

It is actually sickening the complete ignorance and acceptance of some. The total refusal to acknowledge the truth.
Society has taught, brainwashed us all so bad that we cant even begin to deal with issue's because of it.
We people need to fight so hard to have issues such as this kept to a specific???
Look, in my large office we have a new worker that has done modeling at a high level. Including modeling underwear for men.
In the office, every day, the female workers, google, stare, talk, comment sexually about him, to him etc.
I've seen all but one of them at least once staring at his physic. I've seen them sharing his modeling pic's around the office.
Talking in groups about him. Some are trying very hard to land him as their next man. And yes, they are using sex appeal to do it.

Has the new worker complained or has he shown he is uncomfortable with it?

[Silverstarqueen]

It isn't onesided. Any women who have sexually assaulted or harassed someone else (male or female) are abusers. period.
Does not mean that women cannot discuss the situation that millions of women find themselves in, or the abuses they have had experienced by the men around them. If women cannot discuss this, then how are they supposed to raise enough awareness of the public who can't seem to realize that it must stop, and abusers have to be brought to face their inappropriate and abusive behavior?
We have (mostly) men complaining that women are making themselves too attractive, and somehow this makes it impossible for them to not assault them. Perhaps they need counselling or medication, I don't know. Women for some reason generally don't seem to have a problem with men appearing too attractive, but perhaps secretly they are thinking the same thing.