#MeToo

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[Ka-El]

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[Ka-El]

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[ferri]

Get back on topic. I see anymore baiting or personal attacks in this thread and the offender is going on the queue.

[Ka-El]

I am not implying any one specific poster here is a rapist or some dick who beats on his girlfriend. I’m merely pointing out that in my almost fifteen years of close experience with working with this type of group, their strategies of displacement and deflection mirror some of the comments here perfectly. Some respond to having this parallel pointed out by doubling down on the deflection and displacement (ie. placing blame elsewhere). Others might at least consider challenging what they think they know about this issue and doing a bit of research and reading. The #MeToo movement has been an important issue, with some good and some bad outcomes, but the ongoing war on women is a far, far bigger deal even right here in your own communities. Try your reading daily Court lists for a start. Every Court file number you see with a “K” refers to a relationship violence file. The offender name a clue to gender. The sexual offences will be clearly stated. Do this for a month to get a better picture of what is really going on right around you.

We must each start accepting some responsibility for the role we each play in society. Not all men offend sexually or beat up their relationship partners. Thankfully, they are a distinct minority, but there are enough of them to keep the police, Courts, and correctional services in institutions and the community very busy. They are one of the largest groups of offending types. They are certainly one of the most labor intensive. Most men do not offend, don’t even think about it. But for some of those men they seem to want to know nothing about what is going on against women all around them. I can tell you for sure that it goes on enough that you should be very concerned. Yes, sometimes women offend violently against men, but without getting into all the different dynamics I can tell you again for sure those cases take up far less time with the police, Courts and correctional services. In any case, we will never stop all crime from happening, but we might make a difference simply by agreeing to say in a collective voice, women and men, that “this is no longer acceptable”.

[savvybusinessman]

At this point , I'd rather drive away from a lone "damsel in distress" than offer to fix that flat tire , if you catch my drift ...

You can directly thank the pound me too movement for that ...

Wow, this is just ludicrous thinking. If you think you won't be able to help yourself while changing a tire and you'll rape someone then I suppose don't offer any help. Any sort of normal person should be able to change a tire without raping or sexually assaulting someone.

I never knew how to change a tire until a nice lady helped me one day in a parking lot after some stupid broken glass wrecked one of my tires. The lady didn't rape me and no assault allegations were made.

[alanjh595]

There is a big difference between a woman approaching a man, and a man approaching a woman. That continues right down to the male having to get down on his knee, offer up a diamond, and ask/beg the female to marry him.

In both cases, it's the female that has the final say. If she says NO at any point and he doesn't stop, he is wrong and can be charged legally. On the other hand, I don't know of/heard of, a male saying NO to a female.

[savvybusinessman]

In both cases, it's the female that has the final say. If she says NO at any point and he doesn't stop, he is wrong and can be charged legally.

Uh, no.....both parties and or genders have the right to say, "No" and the word needs to be respected regardless of who is saying it.

On the other hand, I don't know of/heard of, a male saying NO to a female.

I have, as have many other men. I see it happen all the time in bars. Actually, I shouldn't say I see it 'all the time,' but in bars it's fairly common to see both men and women going too far with sexual advances and someone ultimately saying, "No."

Your comments come across as really sexist and trying to pigeon-hole gender norms. Men getting on their knees and "begging" women for marriage? Whatever. Maybe in the 50's.

[Poindexter]

Rustled, all I asked is how you'd feel if the shoe were on the other foot, your response indicates it wouldnt make you feel very good.

If that's what it boils down to for you, then perhaps it'd only be fair to ask the same question of her skeptics, are you doing most ordinary womenfolk any real favours?

That's a good question. While I cannot personally envision a solid reason for me to come forward decades later, I suppose there are some womenfolk who would.

The biggest problem with muddy issues like this one is the optics. I'd have to know my reasons for coming forward would be suspect, and I'd have to know one cannot ever expect (or rather, should never expect) a presumption of guilt on my say-so. This is true whether it is an "ordinary" person accused as it would be in my case, or a celebrity as with Ghomeshi, or a politician as in this case, and it seems important that we keep it this way.

So, particularly for those of us not cossetted as Ford is in a life where we primarily work with women in a place focused on social justice above all else, perhaps it is important that womenfolk realize our world is still one of innocent until proven guilty, where a person still cannot easily convict another of anything on one person's word alone, including sexual assault.

Womenfolk need to weigh this reality very carefully and not ever presume they will be celebrated or admired for coming forward. That may be doing some a favour, as they weigh out all the pros and cons of dealing with decades-old-demons in a very public way.

I appreciate your opinion because you are speaking from an unfortunate but unique position. I don't agree with you but believe I have a better understanding now of where you coming from now.

One thing I would like to ask about is what you said in your last paragraph. Do you really feel that women who come forward do it to be celebrated or admired? My feeling is that their motivation is less self serving and more to hold those accountable for their actions. Those who feel that they can away with assault will typically assault others, so to me it also demonstrates a willingness to risk having to deal with the inevitable assault on their credibility, to protect others from the person who took advantage of them.

[Glacier]

The Scandal at UBC Keeps Growing—but No One Has Been Held Accountable

https://quillette.com/2018/10/17/the-sc ... countable/

[averagejoe]

Uh ho....infighting on the left. #MeToo founder calls it like it is....



#MeToo founder says it's 'tragic' for Hillary Clinton to deny Bill abused power



The founder of the #MeToo movement strongly disagreed with Hillary Clinton's recent statement that her husband did not abuse his presidential power when he had an affair with a White House intern.

"Sexual violence is not about sex," explained Tarana Burke, who began the "MeToo" movement 10 years before figures like Alyssa Milano helped make it viral with a hashtag. "It's about power. And it's about the abuse of power."

Burke told The Root in an interview published Tuesday that it "is just tragic and it's wrong" for Hillary Clinton's to deny that former President Bill Clinton abused his power when he began an affair with 22-year-old Monica Lewinsky

"It’s absolutely an abuse of power," Burke said. "Two people made a choice and one of those people was the most powerful man in the world."

While Lewinsky has said the relationship was consensual, "you're talking about an age dynamic, but you're also talking about the president of the United States. The amount of power, the amount of accumulated power that is in that position alone, versus an intern, it's absolutely an abuse of power," she said.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/super ... ailsignout

[zoo]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TzTCWfiRew

This is one example, yes, but one example of exactly how wrong this all is for everyone. There is no way someone should have the power to completely destroy, ruin someone else's life, with out complete proof.
There is a problem with in society when by accusation alone one can do this. An accusation, no court, no proof just the media and some with in society getting to make judgement.
Grow up, in advance, If you believe this system of ruining someone's life is nothing but a "cost of doing business" then you are as sick as anyone that truly commits these sexual crimes in the first place. There should be no ability, power given to anyone to be able to do this to someone. Its time for a "shame on you society" movement.

[liisgo]

Although common sense to most, this women, once raped, try's to point out some reality to others.
Its from the 10min mark thats worth listening too. The rest is on related issues but not the point.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGiKS-SxrbE