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...Just a few friends over....

Social, economic and environmental issues in our ever-changing world.

...Just a few friends over....

Postby dle » Nov 6th, 2017, 5:25 am

A concerned parent wrote a letter to Castanet today:

https://www.castanet.net/edition/news-s ... htm#210732

Unfortunately, this ugly situation is a very common occurrence. The kids say something innocently on social media, some *bleep* sees it and alerts his/her crew and it's on.

Firstly, just a gentle reminder and I'm not getting all judgey-judgey here - this is just a hard lesson to learn - one of the kids had to have mentioned on social media, or by that old fashioned way "word of mouth", that there would be "no parents". Had the parents been home this probably could have been avoided and if anyone had tried to gain entry the police would have been called much sooner. The kids alone would try to handle it themselves and be overwhelmed before thinking to call the cops out thinking at first they could handle it without their parents finding out, or out of fear of reprisal from the creeps, or many other reasons.

This is a crazy day and age - there are so many things that can (and do) go wrong with kids having parties without adults present, some with very tragic outcomes, because others find out and invade. Thankfully, it doesn't sound like anyone suffered any injuries this time other that hurt pride and fear and material loss.

If the kids want to have "a few friends over" - even if they are older teens or in their early 20's living at home - the home owner/parents need to be present, or at least no farther away than next door at the neighbours. There's only one way to stop word spreading on social media that the "parents won't be there" - that's for the parents to be there.

Sure a 14 year old is USUALLY old enough to be at home alone under regular circumstances, or babysitting with strict rules that NO OTHER KIDS be allowed over when adults aren't home, but how do you prevent them from yakking to friends on social media about it? Kids talk (well not much but they text) and if it sounds draconian, or heavy-handed, or makes the kids feel like they have helicopter parents - well tough.

Guns and other weapons, can and have, shown up with these sleezeball groups of invaders and then sadly the conversation afterwards is a whole lot different than damage to the house and stolen property.

Just do yourselves and your kids a favour - be present. The kids can snarl and gripe about it but a lot of them secretly are happy that you put your foot down - sure, allow the party but, BE PRESENT somewhere very close by.

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Re: ...Just a few friends over....

Postby LTD » Nov 6th, 2017, 6:07 am

sounds like he should have a talk with his own kids

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Re: ...Just a few friends over....

Postby Bman » Nov 6th, 2017, 7:31 am

Responsible kids don't post on social media advertising a party with no parents.
And if a 20 year old kid can't have friends over without the homeowner or parents close by, I suggest the parent may be more to blame for that than the kid is.
Most parents out there are idiots, and they're raising a country of irresponsible people that have no accountability and feel there should be only chosen consequences for their actions.

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Re: ...Just a few friends over....

Postby Fancy » Nov 6th, 2017, 7:35 am

Bman wrote:And if a 20 year old kid can't have friends over without the homeowner or parents close by, I suggest the parent may be more to blame for that than the kid is.

A 20 year old is an adult - this is about a 14 year old child and I do agree, no reason why the parent should have to be home when there are adults in the home.
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Re: ...Just a few friends over....

Postby Bman » Nov 6th, 2017, 7:36 am

I I know.
I was referring to the ops comment about a 20 yo needing patents close.
Is the world getting stupider, or is it just getting easier for stupid people to have their thoughts heard?
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Re: ...Just a few friends over....

Postby lightspeed » Nov 6th, 2017, 7:37 am

Bman wrote:Most parents out there are idiots, and they're raising a country of irresponsible people that have no accountability and feel there should be only chosen consequences for their actions.


So true. Generations of idiots.
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Re: ...Just a few friends over....

Postby Fancy » Nov 6th, 2017, 7:38 am

Bman wrote:I was referring to the ops comment about a 20 yo needing patents close.

I agreed - that's why I said "no reason why the parent should have to be home when there are adults in the home"
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Re: ...Just a few friends over....

Postby Bman » Nov 6th, 2017, 7:42 am

If a 14 yo is advertising a party with the absense of parents on social media, I think the parents have missed properly teaching the kid the responsibilities of using the internet and their responsibilities to their family.

The internet has replaced the television as a caregiver and babysitter.
Is the world getting stupider, or is it just getting easier for stupid people to have their thoughts heard?

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Re: ...Just a few friends over....

Postby Fancy » Nov 6th, 2017, 7:44 am

dle wrote:If the kids want to have "a few friends over" - even if they are older teens or in their early 20's living at home - the home owner/parents need to be present, or at least no farther away than next door at the neighbours.
I can't even imagine my parents babysitting me at 24 (I was living on my own since 19) because that's exactly how this reads. No, parents should not feel they need to be present to babysit another adult unless there are extenuating circumstances to justify that behaviour. For a young teen to have a few friends over while the parent is out, there should have already been ground rules set out. Not answering the door would have been a good start if they weren't expecting anyone else.

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Re: ...Just a few friends over....

Postby alanjh595 » Nov 6th, 2017, 7:46 am

I would be contacting the RCMP and charging the older ones with criminal mischief, theft and forcible entry.
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Re: ...Just a few friends over....

Postby Fancy » Nov 6th, 2017, 7:46 am

Bman wrote:If a 14 yo is advertising a party with the absense of parents on social media,

I'm not going to throw the child under the bus (the parent is looking into it) as it could have easily been one of the friends that mentioned it to another and then the social media frenzy follows. This has been going on for years and years so something a parent should be well aware of and talked about with their kids.
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Re: ...Just a few friends over....

Postby Queen K » Nov 6th, 2017, 7:47 am

Bman wrote:If a 14 yo is advertising a party with the absense of parents on social media, I think the parents have missed properly teaching the kid the responsibilities of using the internet and their responsibilities to their family.

The internet has replaced the television as a caregiver and babysitter.



Oh please, Bman, you are saying some really hard things here. Responsibilities to one's family? Like deciding that what mom and dad have has been earned through years of hard work and one night of destruction is not what they deserve?

You know there's going to be bleeding hearts who are going to wonder how junior will learn if he/she doesn't make little mistakes like this to - uh, learn from.

I remember a house party where there were lots of kids, everyone being respectful of the house and owners. OMIGOD, what the hell has happened to youth today?

Disgraceful.
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Re: ...Just a few friends over....

Postby lightspeed » Nov 6th, 2017, 8:00 am

Queen K wrote:OMIGOD, what the hell has happened to youth today?

Parents happened.
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Re: ...Just a few friends over....

Postby Fancy » Nov 6th, 2017, 8:02 am

I remember when neighbours were involved - "hey my kid is having a couple of friends over and if you see anything getting out of hand you're welcome to step in". The 14 year old knows they messed up once they let in a few more friends that weren't invited and then the trouble starts. The parent stated "As parents we have a responsibility to know where our kids are and what they are doing" and I hope he contacts the parents of the children that were there. Should I assume those parents actually phoned him and confirmed it was okay their kids could be there? That door swings both ways.
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Re: ...Just a few friends over....

Postby Bman » Nov 6th, 2017, 8:06 am

That kid should have known to call police before the situation escalated to where it did.
If the kid wasn't able to interpret the situation for what it was and respond accordingly, they shouldn't have been left alone in the house.
Is the world getting stupider, or is it just getting easier for stupid people to have their thoughts heard?

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