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Should I Be Worried

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Should I Be Worried

Postby Bigpapa2 » Nov 7th, 2017, 5:34 pm

So I was in a common law relationship with a girl for just under 3 years! We’ve recently broken up for mutual reasons! Through out the whole relationship she has developed a drinking problem! To the point where I’ve had to pick her up off the ground to get her to bed ! So every single time she drinks she comes onto me very strongly, to the point of trying to take control and try ! I would never let her do anything while black out drunk ! She was drunk all the time and I told her I didn’t want to do anything with he while she was drunk! So she would turn around and beg me to and tells me she isn’t that drunk ! So a few times , when I knew she wasn’t too drunk , we did end up having sex! She than turned around she said I took advantage of her , so I stopped all physical contact with her! She would that continue, every single time she drank, to ty to pressure me to have sex. Which I will not do now no matter how many drinks she’s only had! This whole time she’s still living with me! Todsy she said I raped her while we were fighting because she said she was drunk ! The 2/3 times I was also drinking ! Again, I never ever touched her when she was passed out or stupid drunk! Do I have anything to be worried about
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Re: Should I Be Worried

Postby alanjh595 » Nov 7th, 2017, 6:44 pm

You have VERY BIG problems in your near future.

Get a lawyer!!! NOW.

Do not touch her, record everything, get witnesses, keep a journal. RUN like your a$$ is on fire. This will NOT go away.

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Re: Should I Be Worried

Postby Bigpapa2 » Nov 7th, 2017, 7:23 pm

I have text messages from a few days ago with her asking to be friends with benefits and stuff! I haven’t done anything wrong though !
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Re: Should I Be Worried

Postby seewood » Nov 7th, 2017, 7:53 pm

alanjh595 wrote:You have VERY BIG problems in your near future. Get a lawyer!!! NOW. Do not touch her, record everything, get witnesses, keep a journal. RUN like your a$$ is on fire. This will NOT go away.

Yeup, perhaps see if a friend will let you do the couch thing for a bit. Stay off the booze yourself and talk to a lawyer.

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Re: Should I Be Worried

Postby Queen K » Nov 7th, 2017, 8:10 pm

Bigpapa2 wrote:So I was in a common law relationship with a girl for just under 3 years!

We’ve recently broken up for mutual reasons!


Through out the whole relationship she has developed a drinking problem! To the point where I’ve had to pick her up off the ground to get her to bed ! So every single time she drinks she comes onto me very strongly, to the point of trying to take control and try ! I would never let her do anything while black out drunk ! She was drunk all the time and I told her I didn’t want to do anything with he while she was drunk! So she would turn around and beg me to and tells me she isn’t that drunk ! So a few times , when I knew she wasn’t too drunk , we did end up having sex! She than turned around she said I took advantage of her , so I stopped all physical contact with her! She would that continue, every single time she drank, to ty to pressure me to have sex. Which I will not do now no matter how many drinks she’s only had! This whole time she’s still living with me!


Todsy she said I raped her while we were fighting because she said she was drunk ! The 2/3 times I was also drinking ! Again, I never ever touched her when she was passed out or stupid drunk! Do I have anything to be worried about



Okay, so right now you are living apart. Right?

Have no further contact with her unless her Lawyer contacts you. Seriously change every number and lock you can think of that would allow her access to you and your surroundings.

She's making these accusation because you can still hear her.
No longer hear her.
Only her lawyer(s).

Surprising eh?
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Re: Should I Be Worried

Postby MAPearce » Nov 7th, 2017, 8:14 pm

Two words Bigpappa .. Two words .

GO GREYHOUND !!!
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Re: Should I Be Worried

Postby pepecat » Nov 7th, 2017, 9:33 pm

Bigpapa2 wrote:So I was in a common law relationship with a girl for just under 3 years! We’ve recently broken up for mutual reasons! Through out the whole relationship she has developed a drinking problem! To the point where I’ve had to pick her up off the ground to get her to bed ! So every single time she drinks she comes onto me very strongly, to the point of trying to take control and try ! I would never let her do anything while black out drunk ! She was drunk all the time and I told her I didn’t want to do anything with he while she was drunk! So she would turn around and beg me to and tells me she isn’t that drunk ! So a few times , when I knew she wasn’t too drunk , we did end up having sex! She than turned around she said I took advantage of her , so I stopped all physical contact with her! She would that continue, every single time she drank, to ty to pressure me to have sex. Which I will not do now no matter how many drinks she’s only had! This whole time she’s still living with me! Todsy she said I raped her while we were fighting because she said she was drunk ! The 2/3 times I was also drinking ! Again, I never ever touched her when she was passed out or stupid drunk! Do I have anything to be worried about


Seriously? Your dilemma is to try and defend your reasons for having sex with her only 2 or 3 times while you were both drunk? Upon reading your post a few times it is fairly apparent why she is messed up. Leave her now and give her a chance of a life without an a--- h---- for a "friend".
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Re: Should I Be Worried

Postby Even Steven » Nov 7th, 2017, 10:25 pm

You've ended things with a bitter vengeful girl but continue to live with her?

Recipe for disaster.

Move out, terminate all communications.

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Re: Should I Be Worried

Postby MalaPropina » Nov 9th, 2017, 1:51 pm

I have a guy firned who was in a somewhat similar situation. It all came to a head when he was taken out of his own home in handcuffs because he was 'too nice' to cut all ties. It nearly cost him his job, his ability to travel out of country for his job, his house and his kids.

Dude!
Get a lawyer. NOW
Move out. NOW
Do NOT see her for any reason.
If its absolutely necessary to have face to face contact have someone credible with you. ALWAYS
Keep ALL voicemail and text messages even if they seem innocuous.
Do not talk to her. Text her. Email. Nothing. Cut off communication NOW.
If she needs to contact you she can call your lawyer.

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Re: Should I Be Worried

Postby Because_They_Lie » Nov 9th, 2017, 2:18 pm

Worry is wasteful, acting is powerful - from what you have stated, wisdom would tell you to get out now and implement a 100% no contact rule.

This girl has baggage that is not yours and that you will pay for if you do not learn fast. Send her love in spirit but physically no contact. End it.
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Re: Should I Be Worried

Postby alanjh595 » Nov 9th, 2017, 2:22 pm

Here are the BC Police mandates and guidelines that the MUST follow.
https://www2.gov.bc.ca/assets/gov/law-c ... deline.pdf
Get out of your situation as quickly and as cleanly as you can. Put as much distance as possible between you and her.
Change your phone number, block her text messages, walk away with the clothes on your back, cancel any joint credit cards, pay off any outstanding utility bills in your name, inform your employer "if she comes around your job", AND GET A LAWYER involved.
Do not speak to her or her friends again, stay away from any place that she might be. If you see her on the street, cover your face and walk the other way.
This is a very serious situation and could cost you VERY dearly in the near and far future. Protect yourself, get straight, be straight, stay straight, move on.
Good luck.

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Re: Should I Be Worried

Postby Ka-El » Nov 9th, 2017, 2:33 pm

MalaPropina wrote: I have a guy firned who was in a somewhat similar situation. It all came to a head when he was taken out of his own home in handcuffs because he was 'too nice' to cut all ties. It nearly cost him his job, his ability to travel out of country for his job, his house and his kids.

Dude!
Get a lawyer. NOW
Move out. NOW
Do NOT see her for any reason.
If its absolutely necessary to have face to face contact have someone credible with you. ALWAYS
Keep ALL voicemail and text messages even if they seem innocuous.
Do not talk to her. Text her. Email. Nothing. Cut off communication NOW.
If she needs to contact you she can call your lawyer.

Sadly, talking to a lawyer is going to cost you, but not talking to a lawyer may end up costing you a whole lot more -
like your freedom. Minimum mandatories exist for sex crimes these days. Despite all the nonsense that sometimes gets posted about the easy ride in jail, trust me - you will not like the experience. After more than 14 years of working directly in criminal justice, I have seen the system fail more than once, and vengeful women screw guys over good. It does happen.
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Re: Should I Be Worried

Postby alanjh595 » Nov 9th, 2017, 3:13 pm

Ka-El wrote:Sadly, talking to a lawyer is going to cost you, but not talking to a lawyer may end up costing you a whole lot more -
like your freedom. Minimum mandatories exist for sex crimes these days. Despite all the nonsense that sometimes gets posted about the easy ride in jail, trust me - you will not like the experience. After more than 14 years of working directly in criminal justice, I have seen the system fail more than once, and vengeful women screw guys over good. It does happen.


The Justice system, with regards to domestic disputes ALWAYS are in favour of the female. That is the way it is written, and we must abide by it. I have personally been attacked and assaulted twice. Each time I have been the one that went to jail. That is the law and that is what the police have to enforce.
I am not trying to condemn the law, or the actions of the police, because both times, the officers treated me with respect and apologise for what they were mandated to do.
One time, I actually was beaten (she had help) so badly that I had to be taken to the hospital emergency for treatment before spending the night in a jail cell.
Am I bitter? No, not any more, I understand and appreciate the laws and the way that I was treated by the RCMP.

Don't let yourself get into the same predicament that I did.

The true justice I received is when I saw that ex, 18 years later by accident. I didn't even recognize her at first, I had to look deep into her eyes, and then I broke out in uncontrollable laughter at what she looked like that day and thanked the higher powers that I had dodged THAT bullet.

The best advice that I can offer, from personal experience is: RUN, and don't look back!

If you want to chat privately, PM me.

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Re: Should I Be Worried

Postby Walking Wounded » Nov 9th, 2017, 3:16 pm

Keep copies of all communication with her, when my ex had a mental breakdown someone suggested that I keep a journal of all contact with her. When it went to court copies of everything went into the affidavit. It helps a lot and if your ex is screwed up they won't keep copies of anything so it boosts your chances in court.
And get the heck out now.

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Re: Should I Be Worried

Postby Silverstarqueen » Nov 9th, 2017, 4:30 pm

You said you were recently broke up with her, yet (today) you get into a fight with her and she claims assault. Why would you be anywhere near a person who obviously is drunk and disorderly and likely to pick a fight with you, and is likely to try to drag you into sexual activity you don't want? If you are no where near her, she certainly can't claim rape, assault or whatever.

Hopefully you at least have some texts or communications which she had previously with her that indicated her voluntarily continuing the relationship (when it was still on). Yes, you probably need legal advice if you have been accused of rape, regardless if you have done anything wrong or not. IF you actually are broken up with her, do not continue the relationship with more arguments, fights or anything else.If you still need to remove some of her belongings, if it is your place, get the police to supervise, and you should not be anywhere around at the time. At any rate, don't wing it, follow your lawyer's advice.
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