School Bullying Policies

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School Bullying Policies

Postby Cdnlass » Aug 24th, 2019, 10:24 am

You know I am kind of curious to see whether or not the policies on bullying in schools has gotten any better since my kids got out. There was such a lack of it even a couple years ago when my son hit high school.

My daughter was bullied by the same kid for 3 years straight and, despite the schools "no contact policy" he was never suspended or disciplined for it. His parents were so sweet and I felt for them but I also know what it feels like to be a parent who believes in properly addressing the bad behaviour and being afraid to because someone may call child services. The funny thing is, at the end of the last year when she knew she was leaving that school for good, she fought back and slammed his head into a locker when he picked on her for the last time. They actually suspended her...after so many trips to the school after she's been left bleeding in the playground. I talked to her about how we really need to use our words rather than use force...but good for her for standing up for herself since clearly the school had failed her. My daughter is very nonviolent and never bullied anyone herself. She just knew how to stand her ground afterwards.

My son was bullied but less so than my daughter. My son is a boxer and is a very gentle person because of it. Not to say that he can't defend himself but that he is well aware of how much damage he could do and would prefer not to.

So, aside from the "no contact policy" that isn't adhered to, what else is in place to prevent bullying? Considering the alarming rate of suicide in teens and even some preteens, we should really be monitoring this stuff. Even those of us with adult children need to be concerned. These kids are our future and its looking like the meek won't be inheriting anything...
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Re: School Bullying Policies

Postby OKkayak » Aug 24th, 2019, 10:33 am

Anti bullying only ends up protecting the bullies and not the victims and turning non-issues into made up issues, just like every other back a s s wards "policies" we've come up with over the last decade.

Kids will be bullied, you can't stop it. Adults will be bullied, you can't stop it. Stop wasting this time on trying to eliminate something you can't and start teaching kids how to deal with the realities of life, because its an ugly world out there and there is nothing we can do that will ever change that.
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Re: School Bullying Policies

Postby Silverstarqueen » Aug 24th, 2019, 10:34 am

It was pretty bad a few to several years back, so I hope it has improved. The best thing was I sent my boys to Martial Arts classes. So they understood how to avoid trouble whenever possible, and when to deal with it if there was no choice. I think girls would also benefit, but a lot of their bullying is more mental (no less painful, maybe more so).
I know the schools were pretty ineffective, and one of my boys got the stuffing punched out of him,on school grounds, during school hours. He wasn't even going to tell me except I could tell something was very wrong. He was hurt and angry, and terrified.He was afraid I would go to the principal, which I did. The school did nothing about it.
But they did discipline him when he finally fought back. One of the bully's parents then came to my home to threaten me, and threatened to sick her husband on me. I called police. Of course there's nothing they can do unless there's physical damage, and you would still have to prove they did it. So that's how bullies carry on their business.

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Re: School Bullying Policies

Postby Silverstarqueen » Aug 24th, 2019, 10:41 am

OKkayak wrote:Anti bullying only ends up protecting the bullies and not the victims and turning non-issues into made up issues, just like every other back a s s wards "policies" we've come up with over the last decade.

Kids will be bullied, you can't stop it. Adults will be bullied, you can't stop it. Stop wasting this time on trying to eliminate something you can't and start teaching kids how to deal with the realities of life, because its an ugly world out there and there is nothing we can do that will ever change that.


These aren't non-issues. Getting properly beat up on the school grounds is not a non-issue.
My son also had to witness a child having his throat slit right in front of him, again during school hours, teacher not far away. While he was not hurt, he was traumatized because he already knew this child was capable of beating him up. so no wonder he then feared being attacked with a knife.The school did not even notify me that he was going thru this.AS far as I know, nothing was done with the offender at the time.Then I had to deal with a son who thought carrying a knife with him would be some kind of good way to defend himself.

So this is why bullies have to be stopped. before it gets to that point.

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Re: School Bullying Policies

Postby Cdnlass » Aug 24th, 2019, 11:38 am

OKkayak wrote:Anti bullying only ends up protecting the bullies and not the victims and turning non-issues into made up issues, just like every other back a s s wards "policies" we've come up with over the last decade.


Exactly my point - they haven't put anything in place so far that holds anyone accountable for their actions so bullying is an accepted part of life.

OKkayak wrote:Kids will be bullied, you can't stop it. Adults will be bullied, you can't stop it. Stop wasting this time on trying to eliminate something you can't and start teaching kids how to deal with the realities of life, because its an ugly world out there and there is nothing we can do that will ever change that.


Also a fair point but at what point do we allow it to get to? Verbal bullying is something we can teach people to deal with but what about the physical? My daughter was kicked, slapped, pushed etc by a child and nothing ever was done. Why do I have to accept that she was just going to be bullied and get over it? Not really an option in my books.
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Re: School Bullying Policies

Postby GordonH » Aug 24th, 2019, 11:39 am

Generally there is 3 groups:
1) those being bullied
2) those bullying
3) those who are neither

It is #3 that needs to be taught by the parents, teaching there children to be strong & self confident. Why else do bullies not go after the 3rd group.
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Re: School Bullying Policies

Postby Cdnlass » Aug 24th, 2019, 11:41 am

Silverstarqueen wrote:It was pretty bad a few to several years back, so I hope it has improved. The best thing was I sent my boys to Martial Arts classes. So they understood how to avoid trouble whenever possible, and when to deal with it if there was no choice. I think girls would also benefit, but a lot of their bullying is more mental (no less painful, maybe more so).
I know the schools were pretty ineffective, and one of my boys got the stuffing punched out of him,on school grounds, during school hours. He wasn't even going to tell me except I could tell something was very wrong. He was hurt and angry, and terrified.He was afraid I would go to the principal, which I did. The school did nothing about it.
But they did discipline him when he finally fought back. One of the bully's parents then came to my home to threaten me, and threatened to sick her husband on me. I called police. Of course there's nothing they can do unless there's physical damage, and you would still have to prove they did it. So that's how bullies carry on their business.


I taught my kids never to start a fight but always finish it. That's being said, it took my daughter 3 years to finally fight back.

The parents getting involved like that is just sick - I think maybe parents should be held accountable for their kids actions and maybe they will change their attitudes.
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Re: School Bullying Policies

Postby normaM » Aug 24th, 2019, 11:47 am

Seems most times the parents of bullies are bullies - listen how people talk to servers, clerks etc.
I would think telling the Teacher you are being bullied would just lead to being more bullied for being a tattle tale.
My Mother taught me to never fight.. my Daddy said in a situation get the first hit in and keep going til they don't get up.
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Re: School Bullying Policies

Postby Cdnlass » Aug 24th, 2019, 12:00 pm

GordonH wrote:Generally there is 3 groups:
1) those being bullied
2) those bullying
3) those who are neither

It is #3 that needs to be taught by the parents, teaching there children to be strong & self confident. Why else do bullies not go after the 3rd group.


Okay that's fair but my daughter was in first grade and a happy and creative little girl who loved everyone. Why was she targeted? You're assuming that my child was weak. When I say she stood up for herself for the first time 3 years into it, I mean physically. She had no issue telling him to leave her alone or to stop hurting her. He just had no interest in what she had to say.
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Re: School Bullying Policies

Postby Cdnlass » Aug 24th, 2019, 12:04 pm

normaM wrote:Seems most times the parents of bullies are bullies - listen how people talk to servers, clerks etc.
I would think telling the Teacher you are being bullied would just lead to being more bullied for being a tattle tale.
My Mother taught me to never fight.. my Daddy said in a situation get the first hit in and keep going til they don't get up.


Teachers not being told is one thing but teachers who see it and do nothing are the problem. It happens way more than you'd think.
I am of the mind that words are the most powerful weapon and instilled that in my kids. I also believe that if someone puts their hands on me I sure am not going to sit there and take it.

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Re: School Bullying Policies

Postby GordonH » Aug 24th, 2019, 12:54 pm

GordonH wrote:Generally there is 3 groups:
1) those being bullied
2) those bullying
3) those who are neither

It is #3 that needs to be taught by the parents, teaching there children to be strong & self confident. Why else do bullies not go after the 3rd group.

Cdnlass wrote:Okay that's fair but my daughter was in first grade and a happy and creative little girl who loved everyone. Why was she targeted? You're assuming that my child was weak. When I say she stood up for herself for the first time 3 years into it, I mean physically. She had no issue telling him to leave her alone or to stop hurting her. He just had no interest in what she had to say.


What I am trying to say is what is it about that 3rd group that bullies stay away from them. If people can figure that out & teach it to their child/children then bullies would have fewer & fewer victims.
When you have to start compromising yourself and your morals for the people around you, it’s probably time to change the people around you. John Spence
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Re: School Bullying Policies

Postby mexi cali » Aug 26th, 2019, 10:38 am

Okay that's fair but my daughter was in first grade and a happy and creative little girl who loved everyone. Why was she targeted?


See your first sentence.

I think that deep down, every kid wants to be happy and creative and at some beginning point in their lives, they were. At some point, they begin to learn from their environment and their mentors (parents) and those with good parents (group#3) flourish and even go on to be great kids who are creative and happy. Those from Group #1 had vastly different experiences growing up and they became less interested in being happy and creative and more interested in self preservation.

During their first socially active years (school) they see the happy creative kids and because they have lost touch with their own happiness, they choose too try and take the happiness away from the rest.

Sad.
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