A REAL life Conspiracy.

[looking4one]

I am a bachelor and I am responsible for doing my own laundry and maintaining my own home for myself.
I have discovered that there are many companies that are conspiring against me in my own home.

1st. And least, the hot dog to bun ratio. Does anyone else realize that there are 8 wieners in a package and 12 buns per package? That means that I have to buy 3 packages of wieners and 2 packages of buns to get a 1 to 1 ratio of hotdogs without leftovers? Even with the use of a freezer, I have to eat a minimum of 2 hot dogs per month for an entire year to be able to obtain a zero waste factor.
THAT is a conspiracy!
2nd. Is about major home appliances. Ever since I have been responsible for my own cooking, cleaning and laundering of my clothes, I have noticed a few things and have gone so far as to experiment to validate my suspicions. I will break them down for ease of reading and understanding for those that are of the Conspiracy Theory like mindedness.
a) The refrigerator manufactures. There are 2 drawers in the bottom of my fridge that are labeled, "Crisper". Not once has anything that I have placed in there, EVER come out CRISPER than the day that I put the food in there. This is a mass marketing lie and should be worthy of an all out Conspiracy youtube channel to share with others to correct these hoaxes.
3rd. Washing machines. I have run extensive and exhaustive testing on washing machines. I have taken my experimentation to the point of testing several different types of machines to prove or disprove my conspiracy theory.
a) Washing machines are designed to turn 50% of socks and underwear inside out.
1.) I have proven my theory by deliberately putting all of my week's underwear inside out before I put them in the washing machine.
2.) I have made conscious effort to ensure that all my underwear are outside in before washing.
3.) I have put half and half in the machine.
I will concede though that; clothes do come out of the "dryer" than when I put them in, BUT I still have suspicions, please refer to the next theory for clarification.
Conclusion.
Each and every load of completed laundry has been very close to a 50/50 result. That leads me to believe that all washing machine manufacturers have a conspiracy against all bachelors in the Western world.
Since 99% of all home appliances sold in North America, are manufactured in an Asian country, we can only surmise that these appliance manufacturing countries are against us and are conspiring to keep all single males busy unfolding underwear and busy enough not to be able to think about the conspiring country's thoughts of invasion.

NOW, we all have a REAL life Conspiracy Theory that concerns ALL of us, men, women, North Americans........Alike.

[Bsuds]

Get a Maid (cheaper than a Wife and doesn't talk back) and then you won't have to worry about it any more!

As to item 1 you can purchase hot dog buns in bulk as well as wieners so no problem.

[looking4one]

Get a Maid (cheaper than a Wife and doesn't talk back) and then you won't have to worry about it any more!

As to item 1 you can purchase hot dog buns in bulk as well as wieners so no problem.

IF I wanted BULK weiners and buns, I just have to go downtown after 11:00 PM on a saturday or Friday evening. Unfortunately, there are rules about squeezing before buying.
TRUE....about the maid thing. If I want backtalk, I just have to sign in to the forums.