Double Fatal

[grammafreddy]

Things were simpler a half century ago though, and perhaps much better in that people simply came together in the community and supported on another and there was no public debate about the cause, the cost of the funerals or about the state of youth at the time. If there was discussion it was quiet and nobody ever made any comment that might risk offending the friends and family of those who lost their lives. We have sure lost some of that along the way and that in itself is sad.

Well, yes and no.

Back then there were the curtain twitchers, the garden gate gossipers, the old boys around the hardware store wood stove, party-line listeners, the sewing circle snipers and the beer parlour bad-mouthers. Nasty and snide comments and critiques were whispered behind people's backs. Fingers were pointed, offensive comments were made, and they quite often got back to the friends and families. They didn't have "social media" or online public forums but they did have the local grapevine and it was just as vicious and almost as fast.

Back then, some people went to funerals to see who wore what, to check out the food and to talk about who cried hardest as the body was lowered into the ground. I have acquaintances who still do that. My mom had a lady friend who never missed a funeral - whether she knew the family or not. Her life revolved around the obit page in the Courier and she arranged her days to hit as many as possible. She took doggy bags in her large purse, too.

[Treblehook]

GrammaFreddy... there will always be those who aspire to function intellectually and socially below the rest. I guess that is part of the human condition, so perhaps you are right in that respect. That having been said, my recollection as a teenager in the 50's and 60's was of a more considerate community where people cared more for the feelings of others.

[Verminator]

GrammaFreddy... there will always be those who aspire to function intellectually and socially below the rest. I guess that is part of the human condition, so perhaps you are right in that respect. That having been said, my recollection as a teenager in the 50's and 60's was of a more considerate community where people cared more for the feelings of others.

I totally agree. When I was a kid in Edmonton in the '60s my buddies and I packed lunches and spent entire days exploring the city on our bikes. There were 3 rules - 1) look both ways before crossing a street, 2) be home by suppertime, and 3) if you get lost or have some kind of problem, ask an adult for help. I'm still amazed when I think back about how kind and friendly people were to us, we NEVER had a problem with anyone.

Sorry for being off-topic.

[OnTheRoadAgain]

I would never ask anyone to help pay for the funeral...ever. Make a donation to womans shelter, SPCA, MADD, but not the funeral. That is just my opinion.

I hope this is just your opinion!
A friend of ours lost his 10 year old daughter.
If not for the generous donation of a friend of his, and many smaller ones from other friends and family, he could not have paid for a funeral service for his daughter.

[OnTheRoadAgain]

Treblehook, I think your post is inspired. Thanks for that x 2.

x3.
and imagine a parent trying to weed through all this information (regarding death benefits) after losing a child.
I can't even imagine.

My parents didn't like the word 'killed' when they lost my brother, it bothered them for some reason, so we didn't use it.
After some time passed, a few years, they used the term themselves.
I think it's about sensitivity for those who are mourning.

[OnTheRoadAgain]

Well, yes and no.

Back then there were the curtain twitchers, the garden gate gossipers, the old boys around the hardware store wood stove, party-line listeners, the sewing circle snipers and the beer parlour bad-mouthers. Nasty and snide comments and critiques were whispered behind people's backs. Fingers were pointed, offensive comments were made, and they quite often got back to the friends and families. They didn't have "social media" or online public forums but they did have the local grapevine and it was just as vicious and almost as fast.

Back then, some people went to funerals to see who wore what, to check out the food and to talk about who cried hardest as the body was lowered into the ground. I have acquaintances who still do that. My mom had a lady friend who never missed a funeral - whether she knew the family or not. Her life revolved around the obit page in the Courier and she arranged her days to hit as many as possible. She took doggy bags in her large purse, too.

First half almost right, but for the term 'almost as fast'. Social media is instant. No time delay whatsoever.

Second half just sounds simply ridiculous. Oh well.

[OnTheRoadAgain]

GrammaFreddy... there will always be those who aspire to function intellectually and socially below the rest. I guess that is part of the human condition, so perhaps you are right in that respect. That having been said, my recollection as a teenager in the 50's and 60's was of a more considerate community where people cared more for the feelings of others.

ditto that.
I remember the ladies making cakes and sandwiches, collecting flowers for the church, and helping to get the word out on date and location. Also remember lots of volunteers from the church and community stepping in to take care of all those things.

[grammafreddy]

GrammaFreddy... there will always be those who aspire to function intellectually and socially below the rest. I guess that is part of the human condition, so perhaps you are right in that respect. That having been said, my recollection as a teenager in the 50's and 60's was of a more considerate community where people cared more for the feelings of others.

ditto that.
I remember the ladies making cakes and sandwiches, collecting flowers for the church, and helping to get the word out on date and location. Also remember lots of volunteers from the church and community stepping in to take care of all those things.

I didn't say people didn't do those things you both said. Lots of people live double lives. They did back then. They still do.

[gloryniights]

First half almost right, but for the term 'almost as fast'. Social media is instant. No time delay whatsoever.

I found out about this whole thing literally first thing the morning after it happened. I woke up, lazed in bed while my son was still asleep and checked Facebook on my mobile (two things that weren't available back in the day), saw each of my friends posting about it, 'RIP Delanie and Mike' for about 40 posts in a row... probably wouldn't have found out about it till the next time I left the house which was probably two days after if it wasn't for social media. Instead before I even got out of bed I knew about it, everyone's opinions on it, seen three or four catfights about the details... all before I left my bed.

[OnTheRoadAgain]

^^^that's what I'm talkin' about^^^

[Carmencat]

Back then, some people went to funerals to see who wore what, to check out the food and to talk about who cried hardest as the body was lowered into the ground. I have acquaintances who still do that. My mom had a lady friend who never missed a funeral - whether she knew the family or not. Her life revolved around the obit page in the Courier and she arranged her days to hit as many as possible. She took doggy bags in her large purse, too.

When my mom died 5 years ago we were advised by the funeral home not to include 'reception following' in the obituary because there are people who read obits and show up at the funeral for the free food afterwards.

I know an elderly couple in a small town who go to all funerals whether they know the deceased or not. It is their social life. Sad but true.

[OnTheRoadAgain]

delete off topic post

[Carmencat]

I am sure your request will be fine as long as you leave your family lots of money to pay for the funeral and 'open' reception. The food for most funeral receptions these days are provided by caterers and not cheap. You also give them a number of people you think may come and they provide food for that number. Which is why funeral homes often suggest not including the reception in the obit so that the people who are actually coming to pay their respects to the deceased and family and enjoy time to reflect and tell stories after about the loved one benefit from the reception.

[Teaps]

This is slightly off topic, however, feel it is right to put it here.

I want to apologize for my harsh remarks and comments earlier in this thread. I feel terrible for what I said and hope everyone can find it in their hearts to forgive me.

The loss of these two children is an absolute tragedy, no matter how it happened. My most sincere, deepest and heartfelt condolences go out to the families and friends of these two.

RIP.

[Queen K]

Teaps: