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How to become a perfect Christian in 3 easy steps
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Thinktank
- Walks on Forum Water
- Posts: 10822
- Joined: Nov 5th, 2010, 6:21 am
How to become a perfect Christian in 3 easy steps
So you've decided to become a Christian. Great. The first things you need to do is:
#1- Buy yourself a bible. You will need to memorize a few things from it.
You just have two more things to do. Now find the part in the bible that says:
-You can not serve God and mammon
- Do not store up treasures on earth where moth and rust consume
- Love of money is the root of all evil
#2 - You can use the internet to find those ^ scriptures. Read them. Now forget about them forever and try to earn more money.
#3 - Be nice. Jesus was nice. $mile occasionally, especially to the people in the building you are going
to every Sunday. But don't be too nice to the people in the world. Worldly people are not very good and can't be trusted.
If you follow these three easy steps, you will be a good Christian. One more thing - always support Israel no matter what they do.
#1- Buy yourself a bible. You will need to memorize a few things from it.
You just have two more things to do. Now find the part in the bible that says:
-You can not serve God and mammon
- Do not store up treasures on earth where moth and rust consume
- Love of money is the root of all evil
#2 - You can use the internet to find those ^ scriptures. Read them. Now forget about them forever and try to earn more money.
#3 - Be nice. Jesus was nice. $mile occasionally, especially to the people in the building you are going
to every Sunday. But don't be too nice to the people in the world. Worldly people are not very good and can't be trusted.
If you follow these three easy steps, you will be a good Christian. One more thing - always support Israel no matter what they do.
WHEN WILL WESTERN WAR PIGS WIND THIS UKRAINIAN GENOCIDE DOWN?????????????
"Fisman's Fraud" - most important Canadian book of 2024. covid fear tactics of fraudulent scientist David Fisman - misinformation distributed by U of Toronto researchers.
"Fisman's Fraud" - most important Canadian book of 2024. covid fear tactics of fraudulent scientist David Fisman - misinformation distributed by U of Toronto researchers.
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Glacier
- The Pilgrim
- Posts: 40396
- Joined: Jul 6th, 2008, 10:41 pm
Re: How to become a perfect Christian in 3 easy steps
The Gideons give out free bibles. No need for money.
P.S. If there's one thing that Christians and non-Christians agree on, it's that there's no such thing as a perfect Christian.
P.S. If there's one thing that Christians and non-Christians agree on, it's that there's no such thing as a perfect Christian.
"No one has the right to apologize for something they did not do, and no one has the right to accept an apology if the wrong was not done to them."
- Douglas Murray
- Douglas Murray
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JayByrd
- Lord of the Board
- Posts: 4426
- Joined: Aug 14th, 2006, 2:50 pm
Re: How to become a perfect Christian in 3 easy steps
Glacier wrote:The Gideons give out free bibles. No need for money.
Aint that the truth. Think you can outrun the Gideons? Think again.
When someone says they pay taxes, you know they're about to be an ******e.
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Thinktank
- Walks on Forum Water
- Posts: 10822
- Joined: Nov 5th, 2010, 6:21 am
Re: How to become a perfect Christian in 3 easy steps
Lesson #4 -
No one knows more about being a Christian than me, because I was lucky
enough to be in a church that had a preacher that preached the truth.
If you call yourself a Christian you need to know something about Jesus "Christ."
Some loser Christians think Jesus was just a man. Not true. Don't be a loser Christian.
Wherever Jesus went, people were healed - an ordinary man can't do that.
So one time this young guy in the church returned from Germany, and two women in the church touched his garment,
probably because they thought he had special powers - like Jesus.
If you want to be a good Christian you should copy some of the things the people in the bible did - and do those things too.
Whether it makes sense or not.
No one knows more about being a Christian than me, because I was lucky
enough to be in a church that had a preacher that preached the truth.
If you call yourself a Christian you need to know something about Jesus "Christ."
Some loser Christians think Jesus was just a man. Not true. Don't be a loser Christian.
Wherever Jesus went, people were healed - an ordinary man can't do that.
So one time this young guy in the church returned from Germany, and two women in the church touched his garment,
probably because they thought he had special powers - like Jesus.
If you want to be a good Christian you should copy some of the things the people in the bible did - and do those things too.
Whether it makes sense or not.
WHEN WILL WESTERN WAR PIGS WIND THIS UKRAINIAN GENOCIDE DOWN?????????????
"Fisman's Fraud" - most important Canadian book of 2024. covid fear tactics of fraudulent scientist David Fisman - misinformation distributed by U of Toronto researchers.
"Fisman's Fraud" - most important Canadian book of 2024. covid fear tactics of fraudulent scientist David Fisman - misinformation distributed by U of Toronto researchers.
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Fancy
- Insanely Prolific
- Posts: 72202
- Joined: Apr 15th, 2006, 6:23 pm
Re: How to become a perfect Christian in 3 easy steps
I've never had to buy a bible and I have a few.
Truths can be backed up by facts - do you have any?
Fancy this, Fancy that and by the way, T*t for Tat
Fancy this, Fancy that and by the way, T*t for Tat