#MenToo

[Dizzy1]

It’s a completely different issue.

How is a woman being raped, verbally, physically, mentally abused different then a man?

To say it’s not really trivializes the issues women are facing.

Yet you are trivializing the issues men face.

There are very few men being violently assaulted and raped compared to the number of women.

So, if a man gets assaulted the same way a woman does, his experience is not important enough to you because it happens to women more than it does to men? Strange logic.

Although abuse of any kind shouldn’t be tolerated, all abuse is not created equal.

No, abuse is not created equal, but when the same type of abuse happens to someone, regardless of gender, then it is equal.

[WeatherWoman]

I’m not arguing that men don’t face this issue as well. I just disagree with the timing of #mentoo. It would take attention away from the #metoo movement if it were to happen right now.

It’s fine if some men want to talk about their experiences, but trying to create an entire movement right now is ill timed.

As a women who is a #metoo I don't see #mentoo making light of the abuse of women. I see it as pushing forward that all genders face sexual harassment and assault and letting the world know it's a MUCH bigger issue and if we ban together we can make change.

#metoo #mentoo #gaystoo #transtoo #toomanypeopletoo

[Silverstarqueen]

It’s important but it’s a much smaller issue... so yeah I guess it’s not as important since it affects far fewer people.

As with most issues, I think the ones that affect huge numbers of people are more important than ones that only affect a few people. This is really dumbing down what can be complicated issues though and of course there are exceptions.

No one knows, or can even make an educated guess at this point, what the numbers of people are that are involved since the vast majority of abuse is never reported. it could be more men, it could be more women. I think it is fair to say that very few men report having been victims of sexual abuse, but that is slowly changing. There is absolutely no way to tell if there actually are more or less, huge numbers or smaller numbers, female/vs male victims or perpetrators, unless every single victim reported every single abuse. And we know that's very unlikely to ever happen.

[MAPearce]

Society is not ready to accept that sexual and physical abuse happens to men ....

STRAIGHT UP .

Being a white , Anglo Saxon male Protestant (wasp) who has been dragged through the court system for simply being a concerned parent, I was labeled as an abuser , just because that IS the "status quo" ..

Still is .

NO one can tell me I'm wrong because it did happen to me ... I got the paperwork to prove it .

WASP's too...

[Lady tehMa]

It’s important but it’s a much smaller issue... so yeah I guess it’s not as important since it affects far fewer people.

As with most issues, I think the ones that affect huge numbers of people are more important than ones that only affect a few people. This is really dumbing down what can be complicated issues though and of course there are exceptions.

http://www.chatelaine.com/opinion/weinstein-fallout-male-victims-of-sexual-assault/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social.adparlor&utm_campaign=Q4Chat_RM_Page+Engagers_OrganicAmplify_OP_NowThatSexualAssultIsReallyBeingDiscussedLetsTalkABoutMaleVictims%2806112017%29

For the link-shy:

It’s been just a month since the New York Times and the New Yorker exposed Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein’s decades of sexual harassment and abuse of women, and more and more allegations keep coming, about Weinstein and other powerful men in Hollywood, in the art world, in media, in academia and elsewhere. The courage of the women Weinstein victimized was contagious. After years of fearing they wouldn’t be heard or believed, hundreds of women are now speaking out. No more shame, no more open secrets, no more silence.

Their courage has inspired a few men, like Terry Crews and James Van Der Beek, to talk about their experiences of sexual harassment, too — most notably actor Anthony Rapp, who revealed a disturbing encounter with Kevin Spacey in a recent BuzzFeed story. In 1986, when both actors were in plays on Broadway, Rapp says Spacey invited him to a party at his apartment. Bored, Rapp went to the bedroom to watch TV. When all the other guests left, Rapp says that Spacey, who seemed to be drunk, picked him up, put him on the bed and then climbed on top of him. Rapp eventually squirmed away and left. At the time, he was just 14 and Spacey was 26.

In the BuzzFeed story, Rapp says the incident has haunted him ever since. When he ran into Spacey over the years, he experienced a sense of anxiety and fear. He discussed it with friends, but didn’t go public until now, when the Weinstein story came to light. As he told BuzzFeed, “Part of what allowed the Harvey situation to occur was that there was this witting and unwitting conspiracy of silence. The only way these things can continue is if there’s no attention being paid to it, if it’s getting forgotten.”

This past month has marked a turning point in our conversations about sexual harassment and abuse of women. Never before have so many women shared their stories en masse. Never before have so many powerful men faced penalties for their actions: being publicly named and censured, getting fired or suspended from their jobs, losing their professional standing. There is no quick fix to the problem of sexual harassment and abuse, or to the power difference behind this behaviour — but there is potency in numbers and strength in speaking out. And too much has been said now by too many women for the world to be in denial any longer. We can no longer pretend that workplace come-ons, inappropriate touching, sexualized compliments and all-out threats and attacks are normal behaviour, or a routine professional hazard that women have to navigate.

In light of Rapp’s revelations, this moment could also be a watershed for men who have been sexually harassed or abused. But it will depend on how willing we are to pay attention and how open we are to challenging some pretty fundamental myths about masculinity and vulnerability.

One of those myths is that the sexual abuse of men is rare. It’s not. The commonly cited figure in the United States is that 1 in 6 men have experienced some kind of sexual harassment or abuse in their life. (Researchers also suspect that this number underestimates the actual prevalence.) In Canada in 2010, 12 percent of sexual assaults reported to police had male victims. That number is low, too; it’s estimated that nearly 90 percent of all sexual assaults, involving both male and female victims, are not reported to police.

When the violation of men and boys is addressed, it’s typically in cases of mass and rampant abuse, as was seen within the Catholic Church in Boston and at the Mount Cashel orphanage in Newfoundland, or at Indian Residential schools, or at Penn State. But rarely do we acknowledge the individual cases, the sorts of inappropriate acts and abuses that happen within families or at workplaces. Since Rapp has come forward about Spacey, others have acknowledged that the problem is pervasive — but it’s taboo to discuss. In an article in the the Guardian, Alex Winter, an actor and director who said he was sexually abused as a pre-teen child actor, says, “I don’t know of any boys in any pocket of the entertainment industry that do not encounter some form of predatory behaviour… It’s really not a safe environment.”

Men and boys don’t report sexual harassment or abuse for many of the same reasons women and girls don’t: intimidation, shame, fear that they won’t be believed. But for men and boys, there are also the barriers of cultural attitudes about manliness, gender, sexuality and power. Men, after all, are supposed be physically strong as well as sexually aggressive. If they are made to do something they don’t want, then the conclusion is that they weren’t tough or masculine enough to resist.

Homophobia is a powerful silencer, as well. If a boy or man reveals he was harassed or assaulted by a man, he may fear being perceived as gay, or if he is attracted to men, he may fear being outed or blamed. Rapp, who is gay, was aware of his sexuality at the time of the Spacey incident, but he wasn’t out. He says he didn’t tell his mother what Spacey did, in part because he was afraid it might raise the question of his own sexuality, which he wasn’t ready to talk about yet.

Spacey, after years of rumours and hints, finally came out as gay in response to Rapp’s allegation. This just served to heighten the homophobia, as it seemed to conflate the incident with his gay identity. (Other men have since come forward with allegations about Spacey’s behaviour with them.) In Slate, Christina Cauterucci called Spacey’s coming out “a despicable, cynical distraction tactic that employs a marginalized community as a flak jacket.”

Men and boys are also assumed to be highly sexed and always turned on — a belief that makes it easier to dismiss complaints, particularly if they are abused by women, which is more common than is publicly acknowledged. One U.S. study found that 46 percent of men who experienced abuse reported that the perpetrator was female. But given the stereotypes that exist about male-female sexual dynamics — that he’s the initiator and she’s the passive one, and that all boys are “hot for teacher” — scenarios in which men and boys are victimized by women tend to be seen as proof of a guy’s irresistibility. Or else it’s turned into a joke, as it was in a 2016 Saturday Night Live sketch, when a teenager took the stand in a child abuse trial and explained how awesome it was when two female teachers seduced him into a three-way.

Men are already less likely than women to seek help for mental health concerns — presenting an act of inappropriate or abusive sex as a punchline or as something to high-five only adds to the stigma. In fact, many of the stereotypes about masculinity and manliness that prevent men from seeking help are the very same beliefs that cause men to abuse and harass: the idea that men must always be in control of themselves and others, the association of masculinity with sexual power and dominance, the idea that men shouldn’t show vulnerability and weakness.

So now that we’ve started talking about abuse, let’s talk about it in ways that can be transformative for men and boys, too. As Rapp put it so well in BuzzFeed, “In 1986, these things weren’t talked about openly very much, except for maybe in an after-school-special kind of way. There’s so much more openness about talking about these issues, and so many people are coming forward and sharing their stories. The oxygen in the room is there for us to really do something about it.”

[liisgo]

[/quote]


As a women who is a #metoo I don't see #mentoo making light of the abuse of women. I see it as pushing forward that all genders face sexual harassment and assault and letting the world know it's a MUCH bigger issue and if we ban together we can make change.

#metoo #mentoo #gaystoo #transtoo #toomanypeopletoo[/quote]

100%, and great to see your post.
This is the only way we will ever even begin to cure this problem. by "both genders" , accepting and acknowledging it, and their roles in it. Don't think for a second that most men have also been victimized in the form of physical and sexual assualt in some form by a women. Stop trying so hard to keep it as a "gender" only issue. Oh, it happens more to women, Its not as bad, men don't feel it as bad. Your wrong and your ignorant to believe this. For the most part in these posts all you see is a back lash towards anyone that simply is trying to point out that "youtoo" have shared a role in this. Ignorance, power, victim-hood, personnel gain, and who knows what is keeping us all from fixing this.

[kgcayenne]

I’m not arguing that men don’t face this issue as well. I just disagree with the timing of #mentoo. It would take attention away from the #metoo movement if it were to happen right now.

It’s fine if some men want to talk about their experiences, but trying to create an entire movement right now is ill timed.

You might as well come right out and say that it's about all about getting 'attention'. Well, in case you haven't yet noticed, society is SUCKING WIND bigtime on how individuals treat another. Attention is required on all fronts of this garbage, not just for the drama queens.

[AlienSoldier]

If you are a male who's ever been sexually harassed or assaulted by a women please post "Men Too" below.

I've been harassed, objectified, and even assaulted on multiple occasions. I've had women make inappropriate and unwanted advances/comments, I've had my *bleep* grabbed unexpectedly by a stranger, I learnt to "bend at the knees" when picking up the free weights at the gym even with jello legs on legs day because of the actions/comments being made by women. I'm an average looking dude who has always dressed and acted conservatively and I really doubt I'm the only one who has experienced this.

If everyone who's been impacted by this behavior would speak up, I think it'd help society to understand the true scope of the problem. To help understand it's not just a problem with men but a problem with our society in general. Tho I think everyone will agree that women experience this much more often than men.

This is exactly why you should contribute to the #MeToo campaign. No where is it written that its only female, but your example shows how women have to alter their behaviour every day to deal with issues such as this. Have I dealt with harassment in my life as a male? Yes I have, but it was much less and shorter lived then what women face everyday.

[Silverstarqueen]

The worms are really coming out of the wood work now. And more allegations besides these noted here. Plus Senatorial candidate Roy moore. Who will be left standing when it's all over. It's men, it's women, it's children, and it's rampant.
http://www.syracuse.com/celebrity-news/ ... abuse.html

[zoo]

Remember when you read this article that the information comes from books written by professional women, so do not be so quick to "back lash".

There are very few men out there that do not know that for there personnel safety in the work place to just stay clear.
Its crappy, Yes, but reality.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relation ... -work.html

[Even Steven]

I had my *bleep* grabbed by a girl.

But I liked it and we ended up dating, does it count?

[Silverstarqueen]

Remember when you read this article that the information comes from books written by professional women, so do not be so quick to "back lash".

There are very few men out there that do not know that for there personnel safety in the work place to just stay clear.
Its crappy, Yes, but reality.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relation ... -work.html

Women in the workplace have bigger fish to fry than who did or did not open a door for them.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... orker.html

[zoo]

l[/quote]

Women in the workplace have bigger fish to fry than who did or did not open a door for them.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... orker.html[/quote]

This clearly wasn't about women in the work place. Its about men staying clear from it.
The article talks clearly about it. Any involvement at the wrong time, the wrong person can ruin your life, "as a man".
Most men know exactly who to stay clear of in their work space. How not to socialize dangerously, and yes, to protect themselves, just stay clear. Not about you again and again.
Today in my work environment, 2 different times, women crossed the line with sexual jokes, the men disappeared immediately and need too. Its a no-brainer.
Here's the absolute crappy side of all this. Men will be realizing that they need to stay clear of women in the work place.
Parties, functions, office space, and your not going to like it.
Sounds stupid, but if you have any normal male friends ask them about it.

[liisgo]

l[/quote]

Women in the workplace have bigger fish to fry than who did or did not open a door for them.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... orker.html[/quote]

Seems pretty good,
The Government’s strategy said this did mean that employers could take on “quotas” or giving someone a job because they are female, disabled or from an ethnic minority.
“The Government is now to require employers to discriminate on grounds of ‘group identity’ not personal qualities. If two candidates of equal merit apply for a job then it should go the candidate from the ‘under-represented’ group.”
Lynne Featherstone, Equalities minister

And OMG, "slap him", "smack him", "end him", "kick his *bleep*" that's a whole lot of hatred, anger, threats in that link you posted.

[Silverstarqueen]

l[/quote]

Women in the workplace have bigger fish to fry than who did or did not open a door for them.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... orker.html[/quote]

This clearly wasn't about women in the work place. Its about men staying clear from it.
The article talks clearly about it. Any involvement at the wrong time, the wrong person can ruin your life, "as a man".
Most men know exactly who to stay clear of in their work space. How not to socialize dangerously, and yes, to protect themselves, just stay clear. Not about you again and again.
Today in my work environment, 2 different times, women crossed the line with sexual jokes, the men disappeared immediately and need too. Its a no-brainer.
Here's the absolute crappy side of all this. Men will be realizing that they need to stay clear of women in the work place.
Parties, functions, office space, and your not going to like it.
Sounds stupid, but if you have any normal male friends ask them about it.

Normal males(and females) don't seem to be too threatened(I asked, it's a pretty common topic these days) by the trend that people are speaking out about being groped, leered at, and pestered with stupid gross sexual jokes. Normal males will behave the way they always have. Now if this new trend in reporting catches on (as it seems it has, but who know this may be a temporary phenomenon), the only people who need worry are the ones who were assaulting and harassing women in the first place. If those people back off, everyone else is going to have a much more enjoyable time.
If men don't want to stand around for sexual jokes, that's fine, women don't want to either. I am glad the men now finally feel free to react as they wish instead of standing around being embarassed or offended.
Is that crappy that men don't want to take part in lurid or harassing behavior? Or are we reaching a new level of civilization in the work place?
I do believe that, unfortunately, that those who were groping and kissing without consent, aren't really going to stop, but they will be more selective about when and where they do it, so as to not get caught quite so easily in future. The only difference is that now their victims might be believed, if you can line up 15 of them to report.