Ferri's Stream O'Jokes

Share your jokes, cartoons, funny stories.
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Glacier
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Re: Ferri's Stream O'Jokes

Post by Glacier »

Two Irish couples decide to spice up their sex lives by swapping partners. Paddy says "That was f***ing great, I wonder how the girls got on....."
"No one has the right to apologize for something they did not do, and no one has the right to accept an apology if the wrong was not done to them."
- Douglas Murray
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Bsuds
The Wagon Master
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Re: Ferri's Stream O'Jokes

Post by Bsuds »

Sorry for the all caps, It's a copy and paste

A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET.

SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.

THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.

THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE."

HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.

"I TOLD HER, 'FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO."
I haven't spoken to my Wife in 18 months...I hate to interrupt her!
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Catsumi
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Re: Ferri's Stream O'Jokes

Post by Catsumi »

Haha, good one

Sent it onto pals

But forgot to paste. Do it over again

I am blonde, haha
Sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice. There’s a certain point at which ignorance becomes malice, at which there is simply no way to become THAT ignorant except deliberately and maliciously.

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Bsuds
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Re: Ferri's Stream O'Jokes

Post by Bsuds »

So I'm in a Bar and two very large Women with accents are sitting across from me.

I say cool accents, are you ladies from Scotland?

One of then yells it Wales you idiot!

So I said OK, are you 2 Whales from Scotland?

I don't remember much after that. :biggrin: :biggrin:
I haven't spoken to my Wife in 18 months...I hate to interrupt her!
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Bsuds
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Re: Ferri's Stream O'Jokes

Post by Bsuds »

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'
His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'its fart football.'
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...'
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.'
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on for the old man.
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.
The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'
The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides
I haven't spoken to my Wife in 18 months...I hate to interrupt her!
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Bsuds
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Re: Ferri's Stream O'Jokes

Post by Bsuds »

438163032_777237597903638_5878252964636417780_n.jpg
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I haven't spoken to my Wife in 18 months...I hate to interrupt her!
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Catsumi
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Re: Ferri's Stream O'Jokes

Post by Catsumi »

IMG_7742.jpeg
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Sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice. There’s a certain point at which ignorance becomes malice, at which there is simply no way to become THAT ignorant except deliberately and maliciously.

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Babba_not_Gump
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Re: Ferri's Stream O'Jokes

Post by Babba_not_Gump »

[icon_lol2.gif]
Yup, that's our girl.
I'm posting this from Traditional lands of the British Empire & the current Lands of The Dominion of Canada.
I also give thanks for this ethos richness bestowed on us via British Colonialism.

Stand up to Anti-Semitism.

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