Questions you just can't answer

[razzledazzle]

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Did you ever stop and wonder.......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on......

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

[Queen K]

Why do we call it a "living room" when most people prepare food made to make us live in the kitchen?

[razzledazzle]

Why do we call it a "living room" when most people prepare food made to make us live in the kitchen?

Very good question.

[johnhenry]

,

[razzledazzle]

Why do we park in the driveway and drive on the parkway?

If a pig loses his voice is he dis-gruntled

If you're dyslexic and cross-eyed, do you see straight?

good ones

[Glacier]

1. Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?
2. How is it possible to have a civil war?
3. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
4. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
5. Is it possible to be totally partial?
   
   
6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
7. Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
8. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
9. Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
10. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
    
    
11. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
12. Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
13. Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
14. Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
15. Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
    
    
16. If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
17. If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
18. You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
19. Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
20. Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
    
    
21. You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
22. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
23. If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible?
24. Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
25. Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
    
    
26. Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
27. If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
28. Why do they make cars go so fast its illegal?
29. Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
30. Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
    
    
31. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
32. Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
33. Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?
34. If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?
35. Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
    
    
36. How can someone "draw a blank"?
37. When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
38. Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?
39. Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
40. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
    
    
41. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
42. When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
43. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
44. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
45. If a parsley farmer is sued, do they garnish his wages?
    
    
46. Can fat people go skinny dipping?
47. Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
48. Is it true cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
49. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands?
50. If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets?
    
    
51. Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit?
52. How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day?
53. How young can you be, but still die of old age?
54. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
55. If you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19?
    
    
56. Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man?
57. Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts?
58. Can you cry underwater?
59. You know the signs on restaurant doors: No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them?
60. If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant?

[GenesisGT]

Why do they call it the "Secret Service" when every one knows it exists.

[flamingfingers]

Why do they call politicians "Honorable"?

[Sige]

If a fly had no wings, would they call it a "walk"?

[johnhenry]

Why do they call life short if it's the longest thing you'll ever do?

If seeing is believing, then how come looks are deceiving?

When a cyclops blinks, is it considered winking?

If marijuana makes you lazy, why are people scared that crime rates will go
up upon legalization?

What if our dreams are just blurred memories of our previous lives?

What if a doctor ate an apple a day?

If your life is going downhill, wouldn't that make it easier?

If its good to be awe "some" then why is it bad to be awe "ful"

If you're hotter than me, wouldn't that make me cooler than you?

[Glacier]

related: viewtopic.php?f=102&t=8501
related: viewtopic.php?f=102&t=4686

New:

If oatmeal cookies are made from oatmeal, what are girl guide cookies made from????
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Why are Softballs hard?
Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn’t usually wear any pants?

[One to talk]

If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?

[jharmer]

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

[Alexa1994]

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

Yes, Bank can charge any type of fee from you!! Which is at the end turned out legal and justified according to them.

[LANDM]

Answers within the text below.

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?
He uses sharp stone to shave. And his genetics are such that his facial hair is sparse.

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
To create a better contact if the user is unsure whether the batteries are flat or the contact is dirty.

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
Because, while there are insufficient funds for the amount on the cheque, there are sufficient funds for the fee.

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
To ensure that they do not sustain a head injury before reaching their destination.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Because one is easy to verify and the other is difficult.

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
Because those who define the condition do not necessarily have the condition.

What is the speed of darkness?
Zero. For absolute darkness.

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?
Not all babies wake up with that frequency.

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
It depends what the other reference point is.

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
Yes.

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Wheeled luggage was used prior to the lunar landing.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Because it is a unique experience to view objects from that perspective.


Did you ever stop and wonder.......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'
A person who simply observed what a calf was doing.

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'
A person who saw chickens depositing their ovum many times.

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Because not all material put in a toaster has the same burn rate and time.

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
I have a light in my freezer.

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Because not all people need to defecate when using the bathroom.

Why does your Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Because they do not need to see the process of undressing or any other preparation prior to their medical examination.

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !
They are cartoons. Not real.

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
They test ones ability.


If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
Petroleum byproducts.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
No. Morality comes from the human psyche and may include morons, but not exclusively.

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
It isn't precisely the same.

Stop singing and read on......

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Yes. They still recognize the random letters in the soup. Literate people do not get a better effect from such random letters.

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
I haven't noticed a dog getting mad at me when I blow in their face.

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
No. But if there is a concern that the first press didn't actuate the circuit, then it is worthwhile to press it again.