Fatal Motorcycle Accident

[TDogg80]

First of all, I would like to apologize for the way I worded my letter earlier. I saw the "memorial" on the news, and was so disgusted I got angry, and then ranted.

The only reason I felt so compelled to write in, and voice my opinion, is because I saw with my own eyes, how Chad's friends haven't learned from this tragedy already. They were putting bottles of booze at the site where Chad died. Whether they are empty or not is besides the point. The point is that Chad died drinking and driving. Why the hell would you place liquor bottles there? That's what tells me that these kids haven't learned a damn thing.

I understand the "this is for my homey" thing, but seriously. How disrespectful is that gesture to Chad, his family, and to ANYONE else that has died or lost someone to drinking and driving? The fact that Chad's friends refer to this as an accident also is not going to help anyone. They see it as an accident, and therefore, there is nothing to gain by reflecting on what can be changed in thier own lives to never let something like this happen again.

And please, ditch the liquor. It's in such poor taste.

Yes, it's a tragedy that someone can lose thier life so young, but the REAL tragedy would be if everyone involved didn't gain any knowledge and/or wisdom from this.

[rocketracer1550]

I really have to agree on your part of placing the booze there or going there to have a "drink" for him.. Its so disrespectful, iam not sure if its just our generation or what we think but the same thing happened at my friends site.. The person did something very foolish and unfortunately they took your life why would one go there to drink?? it really puzzle me??.. If your going to drink because you have no other way of knowing how to deal with it keep it away from the site its respect..

First of all, I would like to apologize for the way I worded my letter earlier. I saw the "memorial" on the news, and was so disgusted I got angry, and then ranted.

The only reason I felt so compelled to write in, and voice my opinion, is because I saw with my own eyes, how Chad's friends haven't learned from this tragedy already. They were putting bottles of booze at the site where Chad died. Whether they are empty or not is besides the point. The point is that Chad died drinking and driving. Why the hell would you place liquor bottles there? That's what tells me that these kids haven't learned a damn thing.

I understand the "this is for my homey" thing, but seriously. How disrespectful is that gesture to Chad, his family, and to ANYONE else that has died or lost someone to drinking and driving? The fact that Chad's friends refer to this as an accident also is going to help anyone. They see it as an accident, and therefore, there is nothing to gain by reflecting on what can be changed in thier own lives to never let something like this happen again.

And please, ditch the liquor. It's in such poor taste.

Yes, it's a tragedy that someone can lose thier life so young, but the REAL tragedy would be if everyone involved didn't gain any knowledge and/or wisdom from this.

[mufin2125]

I have read this discussion from start to finish. I feel extreme grief for Chad's family and friends. I also notice that many of the posters are "attacking" some of the things these teenage friends are doing, including drinking at the spot. I do not condone the drinking and driving, but one thing that is sticking in my head is all the talk about teenagers and how they don't think correctly when drinking and will drink and drive. My question and comment is, " Why are only teenagers being sought out in this discussion of drinking and driving?"
Noone has taken the time to talk of adults who do the exact same thing, causing their death as well as the death of others?
I realize that the post is about a young person who unfortunately had a fatal crash and that alcohol and speed were involved. I agree with several posters who have commented that right now is not the time to be "preaching" directly to Chad's friends. They know what happened and do not need to be reminded. Grieving is a process that often takes a lot of time and a lot of different emotions from sadness, anger, guilt etc. Give them time to come to grips with these emotions.
Yes, it is sad that our society has to deal with drinking and driving. But, it sure isn't only teenagers who do this. If you reviewed a history of the past twenty years or so in British Columbia, alone, I am sure that there were more deaths caused by so called "adults" than teenagers. ( no statistics to prove that statement just my take on the whole thing.)
Chad's friends will either learn or not learn from this incident. Nothing any of us can say will change this. People act differently in different situations. I hope that they do learn and that once their grieving is over, they will decide to do something collectively in his memory to prevent other deaths from drinking drivers ( of all ages).
I have been past the corner a couple of times and the kids were not drinking and were huddled on the triangular barrier. I have heard that traffic has been interrupted at other times, especially at night, when not all of them stay confined to the "memorial area". I would encourage them to stay safe and not be on the roads and other areas.
To all of you, if you are really having a rough time dealing with this, get some help. Their are many places that offer grievance counselling.
Chad, may you rest in peace and may your parents and friends go through all the stages of grief and come to be able to what happened and remember you from the good times.
Mufin 2125

[TDogg80]

I do not condone the drinking and driving, but one thing that is sticking in my head is all the talk about teenagers and how they don't think correctly when drinking and will drink and drive. My question and comment is, " Why are only teenagers being sought out in this discussion of drinking and driving?"
Noone has taken the time to talk of adults who do the exact same thing, causing their death as well as the death of others?

Because this "accident" involved teenagers. If I saw adults placing liquor bottles at a site where another adult died drinking and driving, I would say the EXACT same thing

Chad's friends will either learn or not learn from this incident. Nothing any of us can say will change this.
Mufin 2125

How do you know that? No one has ever said anything before, we just all assume that they don't need to hear it. Well, let's try talking to these kids, and make sure the situation gets to them. I understanmd they are greiving, and has anyone ever taken the time to say these things? I have never heard any opf this from adults when I was in high school. I lost 5 of my friends to drinking and driving in my grad year (1999). No one said a damn thing about the incidents. I think they assume that we didn't "need" to hear it, but you know what, I did. I know the3re are others out there that do as well.

[mufin2125]

I guess I didn't say what I meant to say. What I meant was that these friends and or relatives who have checked into this forum have heard all kinds of advice from different people with differing opinions. I meant to say that it was now up to them to choose which route to follow. I didn't meant to imply that they wouldn't listen to anyone who talks to them, but once all is said and done, the bottom line remains that each individual will make their choices. I hope that they will learn and make good choices, but, not everyone does that.

[puppyluv]

To mufin 2125
I meant all should be included in strict penalties for DUI, not only teenagers who by the way have way too easy access to drugs and alcohol far too early in their lives! Whatever happened to enjoying yourself with a straight mind and gaining some good clear memories?

[Black Daisies]

Muffin's comments made start thinking that we as adults have to smarten up too and lead by example. We place so much emphasis on alcohol as a "rite of passage". We drink to celebrate, when it's hot outside, when we're sad and it goes on. Even now, how many of us (the over 25 crowd), go out, have a few drinks and think "Oh, I' just had one or two and I'm Ok to drive" and then when we get home we're happy that there weren't any road blocks. Now this happened to a young man and we're quick to judge these teens for making a bad decision. Well, who taught them? We did!! All of us did by example!! These kids see what we do and how are they to learn that it's not alright? It took a hard lesson and hopefully all of us will learn something.

[blondewithbrains]

I guess I didn't say what I meant to say. What I meant was that these friends and or relatives who have checked into this forum have heard all kinds of advice from different people with differing opinions. I meant to say that it was now up to them to choose which route to follow. I didn't meant to imply that they wouldn't listen to anyone who talks to them, but once all is said and done, the bottom line remains that each individual will make their choices. I hope that they will learn and make good choices, but, not everyone does that.

Being my son was one of the kids that was with Chad the day of the accident, and was one that tried to not let him leave, I can tell you that he has learned a very valuable lesson...

Believe me, it is not something that I havent told him before either, dont drink anything and drive...but it fell on deaf ears until this happened...he now understands why I say the things I do and why I stay up at night until I know he is safe at home or advising me that he is staying at someones house...Even one of the other boys told me that his mother said to him that he will probably have someone in his grad class have a bad accident or die around Grad time...he also told me that he just wouldnt listen to what she had to say but now knows that she knew what she was talking about...Hard way to learn the lesson...

Some of these kids learn quickly, others dont...they choose the route to follow themselves and hopefully they all take the right one, but that is not always the case...common sense is a big part of it, and depending on their rate of development some take longer than others, and hopefully nothing bad will happen before that light finally goes on...

Just so you are aware...a core group of these kids went out on Friday and Saturday and each got a set of dog tags engraved...one with their own initals and the other with Chads name, birthday and date of death on it...my son hasnt taken his off yet and has no plans of doing that anytime soon...I love this idea as it is a memory of him that will never go away...and also a memory of how he died, hopefully this will be the trigger for them not to drink and drive for many years...

[Nebula]

I love the dog tag idea.

[hereiamagain]

http://www.army.mil/-news/2008/05/19/92 ... orial-day/

http://www.qmfound.com/short_history_of ... n_tags.htm

Dog tags have a long history within the military. Considering their use is fulfilled upon death, I personally think this is a fitting tribute. My heart goes to the parents and the kids, and I wish Chad well. Maybe next time he will make a different choice.

[kingsandman]

First of all, I would like to apologize for the way I worded my letter earlier. I saw the "memorial" on the news, and was so disgusted I got angry, and then ranted.

The only reason I felt so compelled to write in, and voice my opinion, is because I saw with my own eyes, how Chad's friends haven't learned from this tragedy already. They were putting bottles of booze at the site where Chad died. Whether they are empty or not is besides the point. The point is that Chad died drinking and driving. Why the hell would you place liquor bottles there? That's what tells me that these kids haven't learned a damn thing.

I understand the "this is for my homey" thing, but seriously. How disrespectful is that gesture to Chad, his family, and to ANYONE else that has died or lost someone to drinking and driving? The fact that Chad's friends refer to this as an accident also is not going to help anyone. They see it as an accident, and therefore, there is nothing to gain by reflecting on what can be changed in thier own lives to never let something like this happen again.

And please, ditch the liquor. It's in such poor taste.

Yes, it's a tragedy that someone can lose thier life so young, but the REAL tragedy would be if everyone involved didn't gain any knowledge and/or wisdom from this.

We have a winner, the first person on here to call it how it actually is.

[babybear1964]

Do you read what you type hereIamagain? You wish Chad well and go on to say maybe he will make a better choice next time????? He doesn't get another chance....HE DIED. Man, you gotta choose your words more carefully next time

[Bestside]

The bottles of beer show an under aged immaturity...
or to some it is to show a measure of maturity... an adult activity.

It is unfortunate but some parents tend to raise their kids to achieve an ongoing level of immaturity rather than raising the kids to be adults, with the ability to make mature decisions.

On the other hand I have seen a five year old tell her mom how to be a mom... (a lost cause by-the-way) so it takes a great many different influences other than parents to mold a person.

One thing of importance... the teen and education years are the best years of a person's life... don't let anyone take that away... just remember to always play safe!

And to the older folk.. show the young adults a lot of respect... that's the best role model you can give.. and you will be respected in return...

[Bestside]

:ohmygod:

Do you read what you type hereIamagain? You wish Chad well and go on to say maybe he will make a better choice next time????? He doesn't get another chance....HE DIED. Man, you gotta choose your words more carefully next time

Lots of folks will believe he went to a better place for a while... and will be back...
that's comforting for a lot of people... let it be... respect it...

[Urbane]

:ohmygod:

Do you read what you type hereIamagain? You wish Chad well and go on to say maybe he will make a better choice next time????? He doesn't get another chance....HE DIED. Man, you gotta choose your words more carefully next time


Lots of folks will believe he went to a better place for a while... and will be back...
that's comforting for a lot of people... let it be... respect it...

Very well said Bestside. My thoughts exactly.