Memorials for family members.

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Bsuds
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Memorials for family members.

Post by Bsuds »

I am not one to like ads in the paper for loved ones who have passed away.

We have had 2 deaths this year, my Mom and just recently (a week ago) my son. I asked Mrs Suds if maybe a couple of custom made Christmas tree decorations would be nice. She mentioned that it might bring back sad memories and that something else would be better.

Maybe a donation each year in their memory?

I would appreciate some ideas for Castanet forum members. (sometimes the odd one of you has a good idea! :D )

Thanks
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Queen K
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Re: Memorials for family members.

Post by Queen K »

Bsuds, I hardly know what where to begin. You've been a long standing member of the Castanet community it's unimaginable for you to be going through such a difficult year.

Would a memorial donation to your mom's favourite cause or charity be fitting?

And for your son, and yes, it is hardly fair of Life to be handing any parent this tragedy, would a donation to assist someone else be fitting? What were his favourite things?
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oldtrucker
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Re: Memorials for family members.

Post by oldtrucker »

So, so sorry to read this Bsuds.

My suggestion -plant a tree.
It will live on for decades.
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daria
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Re: Memorials for family members.

Post by daria »

Dear Bsuds,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss.

May his memory eventually be a comfort to yourself and Mrs. Bsuds and your entire family.

Donations in honour of both your mother's and your son's favourite causes are definitely a good idea. Or sometimes dedicating a bench in a favourite park in honour of a loved one can be a comfort.

Take good care of yourself during this difficult time.
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LANDM
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Re: Memorials for family members.

Post by LANDM »

I'm very sad to hear of both of your losses. That’s incredibly difficult for your family.

The ideas brought up are great ones. But the Christmas tree decoration is a great way to remember....you will remember regardless, so having a nice trigger like that will keep a positive vibe. Another idea could be an annual scholarship in their name.

Whatever you feel is best will be, ultimately.
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Queen K
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Re: Memorials for family members.

Post by Queen K »

Another thought to renewal is perhaps a rose bush donated to a park, through the parks board. Can we do that in Kelowna?

A favourite rose colour for each family member?

Or if not a tree, as Old Trucker suggests, a flowering bush? Lilacs?
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Re: Memorials for family members.

Post by flamingfingers »

My heartfelt condolences to you Sudsy. Passings are so very hard to bear. Memories brought on by a Christmas decoration, a tree, a donation to a cause do need not be sad. Our most cherished memories are the ones that we shared in life.

Do whatever you want to have a material thing that will remind you to reflect on the joys you shared with your passed loved ones!
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Even Steven
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Re: Memorials for family members.

Post by Even Steven »

I always wanted to get a bench in a park in memory of my dad. So I can visit him and talk to him. He's buried long ways from here.

But apparently I'm not the only one and there's a line up...

Ps: I'm sorry for you loss, Suds. Parents are not supposed to bury their kids:(
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Re: Memorials for family members.

Post by stuphoto »

I am also sorry about your losses Bsuds

I agree with Even Steven about the park bench.
I am thinking of doing that at Jewel Lake in my moms memory.

As for your son, would starting up a scholarship in his honor work?
To be honest, I was never blessed with children, so it isn't something I have had to think about.

Just an edit to add a link to a Parks BC dedication page
https://bcparks.ca/partnerships/sponsorship/
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normaM
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Re: Memorials for family members.

Post by normaM »

My heart is sad for you :( This isn't the year to get Christmas decorations - maybe next year
As we are both fierce dog lovers I suggest a donation in both their names to the local SPCA ( been a rough year for them)
As well you can get starts named for each of them - that way you can look up and " see" them
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Lady tehMa
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Re: Memorials for family members.

Post by Lady tehMa »

BSuds - I am so sorry to hear of your loss, one on top of the other. To lose a parent is hard enough - to lose a child; unimaginable.

I lost my dad last year and that was hard. My sister made us all pillows out of his old shirts, so we'll have a reminder of him with us.

My sister also got some of those clear Christmas ornament bulbs, filled it with white feathers (implying angels, I guess?) and put his name on a clear label tape, tucked it inside. I was not really thrilled when I got it last year; it made me cry more. This year when I was unpacking it I placed it carefully near the top of the tree. My eyes search it out when I go past. I haven't cried yet (though even bets on Christmas Day).

I like the suggestion of donating to the SPCA, or one of the rescues even.

I am sending you hugs and wishes for peace and for the pain to grow less. I know it doesn't go away, but I think we get used to living with it.
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just popping in
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Re: Memorials for family members.

Post by just popping in »

You have had one emotional year, BSuds. My only suggestions would be the same as mentioned, a tree, plant, bench or even a bird feeder. Whatever They enjoyed, which will bring you pleasant memories.
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Re: Memorials for family members.

Post by zookeeper »

I am sorry for your losses Bsuds.

I like in memoriam donations too, an animal rescue group would be fitting.

For a more permanent memorial have you inquired through a cemetery (Memorial Garden)? Many of them offer memorials without burial and they are permanent, and gives friends and other family members a place to go when they need to.

I hope you find what you are looking for, peace be with you and your family.
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normaM
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Re: Memorials for family members.

Post by normaM »

Sudsy - if you are still thinking about a christmas ornament just saw these advertised, West Kelowna
https://www.facebook.com/commerce/listi ... attachment
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stuphoto
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Re: Memorials for family members.

Post by stuphoto »

zookeeper wrote: For a more permanent memorial have you inquired through a cemetery (Memorial Garden)? Many of them offer memorials without burial and they are permanent, and gives friends and other family members a place to go when they need to.
I am not one to visit graves, but think you are absolutely right about having a special place for loved ones to go to.

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