Hell explained by chemistry student

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steven lloyd
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Hell explained by chemistry student

Post by steven lloyd »

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
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Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. S o we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+ …
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Born_again
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Re: Hell explained by chemistry student

Post by Born_again »

Amusing, but well documented as false. http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp
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steven lloyd
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Re: Hell explained by chemistry student

Post by steven lloyd »

:129: Amusing is all it was ever meant to be.
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Mr Danksworth
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Re: Hell explained by chemistry student

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The sad thing is that some idiots actually believe it, and use it as christian science fact. One of my family members sent it to me, and they were completely serious...they don't talk to me now. For some reason, when people's beliefs are shown to be stupid they get really defensive and upset.
Nothing on the Internet is so serious it can't be laughed at, and nothing is as laughable as people who think otherwise.
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strwbrrydvl
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Re: Hell explained by chemistry student

Post by strwbrrydvl »

Mr Danksworth wrote:The sad thing is that some idiots actually believe it, and use it as christian science fact. One of my family members sent it to me, and they were completely serious...they don't talk to me now. For some reason, when people's beliefs are shown to be stupid they get really defensive and upset.


This bonus question was used to get the students to really think about Boyles law and show their knowledge of it. People are claiming a university student's satirical answer to be christian science fact? L M A O ...some people!
Some people develop a wishbone where their backbone should be.
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steven lloyd
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Re: Hell explained by chemistry student

Post by steven lloyd »

Mr Danksworth wrote:The sad thing is that some idiots actually believe it, and use it as christian science fact. One of my family members sent it to me, and they were completely serious...

They believed this ?

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."


Which part? That Teresa said she wouldn't sleep with him or the part where he said she did?

I hope it doesn’t run in the family danky :127:

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