Honest working person just plain gets screwed over

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gardengirl
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Re: Honest working person just plain gets screwed over

Post by gardengirl »

kccayenne wrote:
gardengirl wrote:She has blamed the Dentist from years ago for causing this thing. She is dumping all over Dentists because they won't trust her to pay. She is blaming Dentists for being greedy for expecting to be paid for their work. She is blaming Dentists for perhaps losing her job because she won't look good enough to deal with the public.

Do you know for sure what the dentist of years ago did? Do you know for certain that particular dentist is infallible and not responsible for some of the problems going on right now?

Didn’t think so.

So let’s give the benefit of the doubt here and say that the dentist of years ago was at fault.


Treatment given on one or two teeth decades ago would not cause all her teeth to be falling out.
That is ludicrous. If she developed some sort of dental phobia due to some real or perceived trauma, fair enough. You still cannot blame the current problems on the previous Dentist.



Yeah, she’d be feeling pretty screwed over because now she will have to pay thousands of dollars to rectify the situation and not even have her own teeth any more.

I don't see that she did that. She has told us that she had full dental coverage and did not use it. She has waited for more than a decade to do anything about it.

That’s damned traumatic in my opinion, I like my teeth. Further to the reason she’s in this situation, some medications and medical conditions can and WILL make for dental nightmares, genetics too.

I asked directly about this supposed medical condition. She said it had to do with previous treatment on a tooth.

I feel her frustration and know it well from personal experience. I have a future $3k dental bill coming up to begin preparing for now. Surgeons don’t take payments, so she’s not alone here. It's a frustrating thing to know that there is no assistance for something so critical as dental care, especially when the related complications can result in death.

gardengirl wrote:All her problems she has had the opportunity to do something about. She had full dental coverage in the past. If she had not let things get so bad, the repairs would not cost so much whether she had coverage or not.


It’s not entirely clear to me when her problems happened.
If they happened AFTER coverage expiry, there’s no grounds for that judgment of her actions.
However, in the original post, she does mention that if she had the money, she’d have been able to prevent the situation from becoming so serious.

Please read the entire thread. She has been living here for 12 years, apparently as a resident alien. (That leads me to believe that she has not had medical coverage for the last 12 years either). A condition like this does not develop over night. She has said that it started with this dental problem years ago, she has said that she had full dental coverage when she lived in the States. So then, she has not done anything in the last 12 years? It would appear that she did not do anything before that, while she had dental coverage.


It’s like a mechanic said one time “you can pay me now, or you pay me later”. Either way, we WILL have to pay somewhere along the line whether we have the money or not. That’s a harsh enough reality as it is without being judged harshly. The OP may be wishing she’d not opened herself up to this level of scrutiny, and she may also be remorseful over not spending the money she couldn’t afford earlier.

gardengirl wrote:Perhaps if she had used a different title in the op, it would have helped.
No one has screwed her over except herself.

The title is a little misleading… unless you read it as that she feels screwed over because her situation is so frustrating and seemingly severe. Again, she FEELS screwed over; it doesn’t mean she actually was screwed over, unless indeed the original dentist was at fault (undetermined). Whether you believe she has the right to feel screwed over is immaterial, your thoughts don’t really matter, and neither do mine, for when she walks away from her computer, she has pain in her mouth, and it’s likely radiating through her entire skull (been there), and she is under a tremendous amount of stress left feeling as though she’s got no where to turn. I’ve experienced that level of pain, and you know what, clarity of thought is not an option; so you continue to sit there with all your teeth in check because you were able to look after them, and appreciate the relative peace you have. The OP doesn’t have that relative peace, and she’s obviously NOT going to get it on this forum either.


She has been offered a number of suggestions from a number of different posters. Each time, she has basically dismissed the suggestions. Then, she offers more information as to why these suggestions won't work for her. She appears to be constructing her own roadblocks.

I has already been suggested that she use the money offered by a family member to have the teeth removed, then get dentures later. She does not want to do that. She would rather let the condition get worse, because she thinks getting the dentures later will cost more. That may well be, but isn't it a better option to look after the dental problem, which she has implied has become a medical problem first?
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I Think
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Re: Honest working person just plain gets screwed over

Post by I Think »

She is a victim, and has the mentality of victimhood.

Once you take full responsibility for who you are, and how you got to be that way, you cease to be a victim.
Victimhood is a very comfortable place, you can look at the world and not have to take responsibility, not have to act, because it is all someone else's fault. The big question here, is how, within the limits of the forum, can we help her overcome the fact that in her mind she is a victim?
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Mr Danksworth
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Re: Honest working person just plain gets screwed over

Post by Mr Danksworth »

I think she should put up a photo of her teeth so we can see how much of a 'victim' she is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ifXiGOa ... re=related
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Advocate
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Re: Honest working person just plain gets screwed over

Post by Advocate »

Squire Nibs wrote:She is a victim, and has the mentality of victimhood.

Once you take full responsibility for who you are, and how you got to be that way, you cease to be a victim.
Victimhood is a very comfortable place, you can look at the world and not have to take responsibility, not have to act, because it is all someone else's fault. The big question here, is how, within the limits of the forum, can we help her overcome the fact that in her mind she is a victim?


It is not a happy place.
I Think
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Re: Honest working person just plain gets screwed over

Post by I Think »

No, not happy, but easier than taking full responsibility.
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MyWorld
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Re: Honest working person just plain gets screwed over

Post by MyWorld »

Not sure if anyone has suggested this but the Gospel Mission has a very small dentist clinic for people who generally just cannot afford a dentist. They go over everyone's situation case by case to determine what is considered a donation. Keep in mind this is for people who are low income and don't have insurance. Its worth a shot.
Advocate
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Re: Honest working person just plain gets screwed over

Post by Advocate »

Squire Nibs wrote:No, not happy, but easier than taking full responsibility.


Doesn't sound easier Not sure there was lack of responsibility
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StraitTalk
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Re: Honest working person just plain gets screwed over

Post by StraitTalk »

Finally took the time to read this. I think it's pretty crappy you can't find a dentist to help you out (especially considering the money they make - pretty sad). I hope you can find some help, but I don't agree with you blaming anyone but yourself that this has happened. In the end, (assuming you didn't have some sort of medical condition that caused all this, in which case I'm fairly sure you would be covered so that shouldn't be the case), you should have taken better care of your teeth. My teeth are extremely weak, it's hereditary. I have to brush thrice a day and mouthwash/floss every night. Even so, I get at least one cavity every year. There's not much I can do about it other than expect it and make sure I am able to pay for it. (I'm 18 and have paid for my own dental bills for 4 years, granted partial costs were covered by the government because I'm a minor).

Don't wanna sound like I'm ranting or scolding you, it's just that you make it sound as if it's the systems fault. It's not.
dax297
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Re: Honest working person just plain gets screwed over

Post by dax297 »

When I first read this, I thought this must be a joke. Now I am not sure lol. IF this is a true story, I think we know why this person is having such a hard life... and little to do with teeth I would say. Live your life or not, stop making excuses or "reasons" why things are sooooo bad.
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Re: Honest working person just plain gets screwed over

Post by I Think »

Advocate wrote:Doesn't sound easier Not sure there was lack of responsibility


The metaphor that comes to mind is;

A failure only has to fail once and can remain comfortably a failure.

A success has to succeed over and over again to continue to be a success.


Advocate, if you don't think not being completely responsible for yourself is easier, it is because you are not a victim, and do not have the victim mentation.
We're lost but we're making good time.

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