Children of Divorced Parents.

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nepal
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Re: Children of Divorced Parents.

Post by nepal »

It is tough for kids from broken homes. Divorce is a traumatic life-long haul for kids, not to be underestimated nor trivialized. Victims of divorce might appear with a happy face, but understandably could be hurting inside. There are no socio-economic differences when it comes to hurt.

Those with non-typical family-trees often have difficult choices to make when it comes to step-families, or single-parent families. Some kids face very complex family-trees. Some kids disengage from their complex family tree, especially if there are ongoing re-structures, where they are expected to get to know a new step-family, then yet another, and expected to un-like past families. We can only imagine the family tree of a parent on their third relationship. It’s a big task for the parents too, as they are expected to treat all kids equally, their own and step-kids...not likely to happen. Also, emotionally and financially, reality is that parents will take care of their own kids, even at the expense of step-children.

Revised family trees are actually easier for the divorcing parents, as they cut past ties, whereas the kids are left with the complexity of multiple ties to maintain, and a lifetime of heavy burden this brings.

Parents, give deep thought, and consider constructive help, before renovating your children’s original family-tree for them. Is divorce really worth it, and maybe it’s you or your spouse, or both, who need to adapt to your original family setup. Life is actually very short. (Some rare situations are dire and require divorce)
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nepal
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Re: Children of Divorced Parents.

Post by nepal »

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Happy Mothers\Fathers Day? Narcissistic parents who don’t care for their children...
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- There are deadbeat ‘mothers’.
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- There are deadbeat ‘fathers’.
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If your parent wasn’t there for you, then it’s not surprising for you to not be there for them.
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Glacier
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Re: Children of Divorced Parents.

Post by Glacier »

:-X
Vacancyrate wrote:https://www.castanet.net/news/Vernon/30 ... s-children

Reverse the sexes and this would never happen.

Part of the reason I'll never have kids is the divorce rates and laws in this country.

75% chance of divorce and then it's a 85% chance I won't get custody if there is kids involved then it's 50/50 if my own children will be poisoned against me and 100% that I'll be paying the bills.

That's a hell of a gamble.
Link doesn't work.

EDIT: nevermind, I got it to work: https://web.archive.org/web/20200611084 ... s-children
Last edited by Glacier on May 8th, 2021, 3:05 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Staredintoabyss
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Re: Children of Divorced Parents.

Post by Staredintoabyss »

The stats on this are easy to find and pretty coherent.

Overall children raised by single parents do worse on almost all metrics.

There are special examples of good outcomes often involving extended family units or other community involvement but overall they do worse and its for very obvious reasons.

One parent no matter how well intentioned is one person and lacks the time or collective insight to cover as much ground for support and guidance as two loving involved parents.

Not all couples raise kids well, no one is making that claim, but overall two parents is better period. The math is very very clear on this.

I was a child of divorce and I was always doing with less support, less time, less money, and less social opportunity than my peers with intact families.
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oldtrucker
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Re: Children of Divorced Parents.

Post by oldtrucker »

Staredintoabyss wrote:The stats on this are easy to find and pretty coherent.

Overall children raised by single parents do worse on almost all metrics.

There are special examples of good outcomes often involving extended family units or other community involvement but overall they do worse and its for very obvious reasons.

One parent no matter how well intentioned is one person and lacks the time or collective insight to cover as much ground for support and guidance as two loving involved parents.

Not all couples raise kids well, no one is making that claim, but overall two parents is better period. The math is very very clear on this.

I was a child of divorce and I was always doing with less support, less time, less money, and less social opportunity than my peers with intact families.
Moving around , changing schools, changing everything all the time because of the divorce does nothing in the way of improving stability.
Some may view my politically incorrect opinions as harsh and may be offended by them. Some think political correctness will be our undoing. You and 917 others hate this post.
nepal
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Re: Children of Divorced Parents.

Post by nepal »

Even though some kids are at the bottom in life, some find ways to dig themselves out and do okay. Here’s an inspiring example of one young lady who found opportunities for self-improvement, and built her own respectable life:
I Think
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Re: Children of Divorced Parents.

Post by I Think »

Choose a mate carelessly as your children will be affected for life.
Am observing a few kids from split parents, and it is rather hard on the kids and really unfair for them.
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common_sense_guy
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Re: Children of Divorced Parents.

Post by common_sense_guy »

Happy to see a lot of smart commenters on here who don't just believe what they read. I also agree in most cases it's best for the child for the family to get divorced so both parents will be good to the children and they won't be growing up in a terrible environment anymore. Yes of course divorce affects children but what affects them more is growing up in a toxic household. That's my opinion and seems to be a lot of yours opinions as well.
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MAPearce
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Re: Children of Divorced Parents.

Post by MAPearce »

common_sense_guy wrote: Sep 19th, 2021, 3:13 pm Happy to see a lot of smart commenters on here who don't just believe what they read. I also agree in most cases it's best for the child for the family to get divorced so both parents will be good to the children and they won't be growing up in a terrible environment anymore. Yes of course divorce affects children but what affects them more is growing up in a toxic household. That's my opinion and seems to be a lot of yours opinions as well.
Better to be from a broken home than IN one .
I payed attention in High school....But I didn't need too .
common_sense_guy
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Re: Children of Divorced Parents.

Post by common_sense_guy »

MAPearce wrote: Sep 19th, 2021, 5:02 pm
common_sense_guy wrote: Sep 19th, 2021, 3:13 pm Happy to see a lot of smart commenters on here who don't just believe what they read. I also agree in most cases it's best for the child for the family to get divorced so both parents will be good to the children and they won't be growing up in a terrible environment anymore. Yes of course divorce affects children but what affects them more is growing up in a toxic household. That's my opinion and seems to be a lot of yours opinions as well.
Better to be from a broken home than IN one .
I don't understand your comment. Do you think the child would be left to Social Services or something and not go with either the mom or dad? Of course the child would be in a home. And it wouldn't be with fighting anymore so I really don't understand your comment at all if you could elaborate that would be great
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MAPearce
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Re: Children of Divorced Parents.

Post by MAPearce »

I don't understand your comment. Do you think the child would be left to Social Services or something and not go with either the mom or dad? Of course the child would be in a home. And it wouldn't be with fighting anymore so I really don't understand your comment at all if you could elaborate that would be great
What I mean is that if dysfunctional parents ended their union and moved on and not stayed together "for the sake of the kids " , the kids would be better off ..

That way , they wouldn't learn "dysfunction".
I payed attention in High school....But I didn't need too .
liisgo
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Re: Children of Divorced Parents.

Post by liisgo »

nepal wrote: May 8th, 2021, 4:30 am .
Happy Mothers\Fathers Day? Narcissistic parents who don’t care for their children...
.
- There are deadbeat ‘mothers’.
.
- There are deadbeat ‘fathers’.
.
If your parent wasn’t there for you, then it’s not surprising for you to not be there for them.
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We have nothing helping or supporting the full function of a dad in our children's up bringing.
From our society, to our divorce laws and then our own societies biased view on fathers.
Just maybe one day Canada will set a new bench mark and make necessary changes to change our system.
And people's view's and demands after divorce will no longer be based on who the parent is.
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MAPearce
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Re: Children of Divorced Parents.

Post by MAPearce »

We have nothing helping or supporting the full function of a dad in our children's up bringing.
From our society, to our divorce laws and then our own societies biased view on fathers.
Just maybe one day Canada will set a new bench mark and make necessary changes to change our system.
And people's view's and demands after divorce will no longer be based on who the parent is
Bravo . :130:
I payed attention in High school....But I didn't need too .
I Think
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Re: Children of Divorced Parents.

Post by I Think »

It may well be better for the kid(s) that their parents split up, that does not change the fact that the split is very difficult for all to manage. The kid is left not sure of the reasons, and may even decide that it's their fault that mommy and daddy separated.
One parent wants the kid to go on a family camping trip, the kid does not want to go, and the other parent is accused of poisoning the notion in the kids mind, and so on ad infinitum.
For the kids sake, be sure before you breed.
Problem with being stupid is, you don't know you're stupid
nepal
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Re: Children of Divorced Parents.

Post by nepal »

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So sad, for children having custody exchanges in a RCMP parking lot, along with people selling used trinkets, because the parents couldn’t learn to adapt to their differences and get along. I suspect many of these parents themselves never experienced being a child of divorced parents, so have no concept of the extreme stress and humiliation they are subjecting their kids to. I get it, that some situations are dire, but maybe most are resolvable with some effort and flexibility, for the life-long peace of mind for their kids, and betterment of society.

I’ve recently seen three nearby families with young kids split. They each had good housing and newish vehicles, and seemed to be pretty normal. In one case, apparently the wife didn’t want to move to cold Alberta, where her husband found work, so now she and their baby live in her parent’s basement! In the other two cases, maybe both parents working may have caused conflict. Perhaps each were solvable. Often it would be better to heal the family, rather than destructively amputate a parent.

https://globalnews.ca/video/8229151/nan ... arking-lot
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