Children of Divorced Parents.

Social, economic and environmental issues in our ever-changing world.
stuphoto
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Re: Children of Divorced Parents.

Post by stuphoto »

MAPearce wrote: Sep 19th, 2021, 6:03 pm
I don't understand your comment. Do you think the child would be left to Social Services or something and not go with either the mom or dad? Of course the child would be in a home. And it wouldn't be with fighting anymore so I really don't understand your comment at all if you could elaborate that would be great
What I mean is that if dysfunctional parents ended their union and moved on and not stayed together "for the sake of the kids " , the kids would be better off ..

That way , they wouldn't learn "dysfunction".
As someone who came from a broken home I agree with you.
My mom did get remarried to a :swear: :cuss: and if she wouldn't have kicked him out my name would only be a statistic in the Chilliwack Progress somewhere around 1980.

I do believe the parents from broken homes should not say bad things about each other, and just tell the children things just didn't work out.
However that is another story.

My mom actually raised 2 of us.
I like to say she raised One Good Child, but I refuse to say which one is good.
The way I see it is if my Bible Thumping sister is going to heaven, then I must be going to hell.
nepal
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Re: Children of Divorced Parents.

Post by nepal »

Here’s a video example of what some kids of divorced parents are subjected to. So unfair for kids.

Thank you to this family for making this heart-tugging video available, as it may help some other families find a way to make their family whole and avert such difficulties. Parker, you are a good fellow, and can learn from your parent’s mistakes.
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Last edited by nepal on Oct 20th, 2021, 1:14 am, edited 3 times in total.
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GordonH
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Re: Children of Divorced Parents.

Post by GordonH »

*removed*
Last edited by ferri on Oct 20th, 2021, 7:38 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Making it personal
I don't give a damn whether people/posters like me or dislike me, I'm not on earth to win any popularity contests.
nepal
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Re: Children of Divorced Parents.

Post by nepal »

Life may have been difficult before divorce, but now it can be even more stressful, especially at Christmas. Compassion and honesty, are all that some kids want for Christmas.
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Babba_not_Gump
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Re: Children of Divorced Parents.

Post by Babba_not_Gump »

^^^
It is so sad and tragic that parents can't keep their pride and stubbornness under control.
I'm posting this from Traditional lands of the British Empire & the current Lands of The Dominion of Canada.
I also give thanks for this ethos richness bestowed on us via British Colonialism.

#StandUpToJewishHate
I Think
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Re: Children of Divorced Parents.

Post by I Think »

Split-ups are invariably hard on the kids, too bad we are hard wired to think with our hormones in our 20's, little kids are jewels awaiting the right settings and people who breed, only to move on are destructive of their children. Even if the split is amicable it is all too common for one parent to accuse the other of influencing the child against the desires of the other parent.

What also seems to be ignored here is the fact that new pairings create step parents who have a really slippery position to play in the family(s), having to be prepared for the scrutiny by the other parent, and not being quite certain of the way to parent the step kid. Add in a kid born to the new couple and you have sibling problems large between the kids.

Please don't stress the kids by having them before you are ready to stay with your partner, till death...........etc.
We're lost but we're making good time.
nepal
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Re: Children of Divorced Parents.

Post by nepal »

.
Sad to see so many kids now living is disjointed families.
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nepal
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Re: Children of Divorced Parents.

Post by nepal »

.
So you’re a Child of Divorced Parents, and/or dysfunctional parent(s), so now what?

Many kids don’t have help as to how to survive the mess sometimes created by their parent(s). For teens, maybe ask your school counsellor where to get help and direction. All situations are different.

In the absence of reliable counselling help at school, or in life after school, then self-help might be needed. One method might be to ‘change the channel’, by isolating yourself from the problem generators, whoever they may be, and shift your focus to positive self-help goals, and associating with positive people.

Education can open many doors in your future, so this might be one good thing to focus on. There are many education opportunities on offer, and you might already have the prerequisites. If you don’t yet have the prerequisites, then reading, writing, and math skills are valuable starting points. If for example, if you’re behind in math, then look online for self-guided tutorials, start back at the basics and build your math skills from the ground up (focus gets it done quickly). Same with reading and writing. Visit a college or technical school and tell them what your goal is, and ask for a counsellor there to help get you onto the right path. A good counsellor can assess your current skills, and determine any gaps you need to fill, in order to become admissible to technical or degree programs offered. Some colleges offer adult education upgrade courses. At any age, even with grade-ten level skills, education can be upgraded to the level to get the job you want, be that a concrete finisher, accountant, mechanic, recreation instructor, computer tech, nurse, equipment operators, paramedic, doctor, cook, or whatever you’d like.

If you’re not yet into higher education, then for some jobs, some businesses will take new hires with basic high school education. Workers can start doing basic jobs, like cleaning, shelf-stocking, construction labour, farm-labour, truck driver, warehouse-labour, data-entry, senior-care, yard maintenance, sales, logging, fishing, food serving, vehicle-washing, tree and brush clearing, moving, etc, This might lead to other job and training opportunities. Knock on doors, attend career fairs, look online, and explore what’s available. Look online to see how to make your resume, because you’ll likely need it.

Self-employment is another option, such as lawn-mowing, snow removal, garbage removal, house cleaning, computer data-entery, painting, handyman(person), gutter cleaning, volunteer-work, homemaker, etc. Every job needs a person to do it, from the crappiest job to best best job. Sometimes crappy jobs can lead to decent jobs, so take what you can get and start from there. Make a business card, so people can contact you.

Being reliable, honest, on-time, and helpful, are big assets. The thing is to start where you can get your foot in the door with the skill level you have, then move up from there, it’s never too late.

Sometimes travel can open-up new ideas and opportunities, and at the same time help to switch channels to something positive. Relocating to a different community can sometimes provide a fresh start.

Recreation can help clear your mind and open social opportunities. Walking, snowshoeing, hockey, skiing, dance, crafts, card games, reading, running, swimming, soccer, social groups, the list goes on…,

The thing is that education, work, recreation, and new experiences, can positively change your focus. You can have independence and a chance to be successful in your own life, putting the old family problems behind you. You are in control to build your own future, one step at a time.

You can provide a good family environment and model for your own children.

Obviously I’m no expert, and simply offer this based on my own observations. I too was given a rough start, so offer these thoughts from experience. I’m sure there are other helpful and even better guides out there.

Some of the world’s most well adjusted and successful people have started at the bottom in life.
:smt045

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