The most important person(s) in your family...?

[Barney Google]

Entitlement...is this why?

[JayByrd]

Certainly, the parents' marriage (assuming there are two parents present) is the foundation of everything in the home, and woe be unto any parent who doesn't realize that.

But there isn't just one generation of parents who turned everything sour. The current generation of parents (aged 25-45) grew up on TV and junk food, and have passed those values on to their own offspring. Not all, of course...but hard work and self-reliance were not exactly the hallmarks of a 1980's/1990's childhood, were they? The parents of those children were the baby boomers. They were the bridge between the drug-addled 1970's and the consumerist 1980's, and a generation of somewhat stunted kids was the result of their heyday.

These threads seem to get bogged down with "in my day" stories that really only say that me or my parents got it right. I admit, my generation is responsible for the current "entitled" generation of children. But we were products of our environment too.

[youjustcomplain]

Right. So we have arrived at a place where people think all kids are these entitled little brats. I dont' buy that it's all the parents fault though. That's too easy of a scapegoat. Sure, parenting may have changed since the 40's or 50's; it had to. Look at the technology around us. I'd argue that technology has made kids, and parents alike, the way we are today.

Parents may be the foundation at home, but does that make them more important? For me, my kids happiness, health and safety trumps my own. That said, of course, my own life, as my kids parents and my wifes husband is very important to me, but no more important than my family.

[mexi cali]

That is a great article. It speaks not only to the truth about my own upbringing but also to the ideals with which my wife and I led our own lives with each other and our kids. And our kids are millennials.

My wife is more important to me than are my kids. I married her. I chose her and I adore her.

I love my kids. Would take a bullet for any of them but that doesn't mean that they are the most important members of our familial unit.

The ideals of yesteryear were more uplifting than what the family dynamic seems to have become over the past twenty or thirty years. Too many parents want to be their kids friends and less their parents. But kids haven't changed. They want their parents to be parents. They are perfectly capable of making their own friends.

Up until our kids were in their mid to later teens and school, sports and part time jobs began to influence their time, we ate almost 100% of our dinners together and nobody viewed it as a chore. Maybe that's why they still like to spend time with us?

Is there something to that? I think so.

[Symbonite]

There is so much to say about this...I just dont have the time....

Article is great.... Some parents out there wear the kid googles that shows them that little Billy can not do any wrong and they show that on Facebook....drives me nuts.

And this public "need to reason" with your kids drive me up the wall when Billy melts down. Be the parent..the buck stops there.

[Barney Google]

That is a great article. It speaks not only to the truth about my own upbringing but also to the ideals with which my wife and I led our own lives with each other and our kids. And our kids are millennials.

My wife is more important to me than are my kids. I married her. I chose her and I adore her.

I love my kids. Would take a bullet for any of them but that doesn't mean that they are the most important members of our familial unit.

The ideals of yesteryear were more uplifting than what the family dynamic seems to have become over the past twenty or thirty years. Too many parents want to be their kids friends and less their parents. But kids haven't changed. They want their parents to be parents. They are perfectly capable of making their own friends.

Up until our kids were in their mid to later teens and school, sports and part time jobs began to influence their time, we ate almost 100% of our dinners together and nobody viewed it as a chore. Maybe that's why they still like to spend time with us?

Is there something to that? I think so.

I really like this post MD...it speaks to what I've encountered as a parent and as someone who has worked extensively with

troubled and struggle youth and young adults.

I key piece I am seeing missing in a lot of families is "Quality Family Time".

Dinners, games, activities like hiking and camping that involve things other than watching TV or electronic devices.

I've had group sessions with parents and youth (electronic devices were to be turned off) where the parent excuses

themselves to take a cellphone call or answer a text. This from parents who complained that their child spends too much

time on the Internet and texting/tweeting.

After that session one youth said to me, "my Dad's phone calls and texts are more important than me and figuring out how to

get things right in our family...".

Parenting ain't easy. It's the most important job we as adults have when we raise children - and it's a job that at times

is not only hard but heartbreaking at times too. As parents we have to make decisions that will at some point or another

have our kids screaming at us "I HATE YOU"...and that is very hard to take but as responsible parents we have to put our

feelings to the side at times and do what we know is the right thing for our kids.

Our children are our children - not our friends...we own it to them to be responsible strong loving adults for them.

P.S. - when you're talking to your kids - FOCUS on them...not the TV or the Internet or your cellphone...in fact,

turn all that s*%t off and TALK to your kids

[Grandan]

Right. So we have arrived at a place where people think all kids are these entitled little brats. I dont' buy that it's all the parents fault though. That's too easy of a scapegoat. Sure, parenting may have changed since the 40's or 50's; it had to. Look at the technology around us. I'd argue that technology has made kids, and parents alike, the way we are today.

Parents may be the foundation at home, but does that make them more important? For me, my kids happiness, health and safety trumps my own. That said, of course, my own life, as my kids parents and my wifes husband is very important to me, but no more important than my family.

I'm not buying it. I am not responsible for my kid's happiness. I tried that trip and it ends up leaving me broke and the kids disappointed. No matter what, kids don't seem to have anywhere near the values that we had. Save till you could afford it, not put it on credit until credit is cut off. I see a waste of money at every turn. An expectation that the world owes them a living.
Funny thing is, they wake up at 45 and realize they have 20 years to put it right. Very sobering.

[mexi cali]

No matter what, kids don't seem to have anywhere near the values that we had.

And whose fault is that?

[Silverstarqueen]

The purpose of a family is to raise the next generation to be self sufficient, productive members of society. No one person in the family is more important than another. Doing it right is more important than any one person's desires. So sometimes (often) the parent has to put aside their own selfish little attitude and do what is right for their kids. That means not spoiling them, teaching them to play well with others, and to take pride in a job well done. That means teaching them to think about the longer term plan, how will they choose and succeed in their chosen field, provide a stable environment for their family, if they choose to have one. An awful lot of people seem to be lost because they are only concerned with their own importance instead of helping others and/or raising a family, contributing to their community.
Just because some parents screw this up completely, does not mean that most do. Certainly no parent is perfect, we all make mistakes. The proof is in the pudding. My kids turned out pretty well, I am not sure I can take all the credit for that, but thank God they have. It's so very easy for young people to take a wrong turn these days, you have to hope everything you have taught them was enough. I don't see how you can do that without giving your children and their upbringing considerable importance.

[youjustcomplain]

I'm not buying it. I am not responsible for my kid's happiness. I tried that trip and it ends up leaving me broke and the kids disappointed. No matter what, kids don't seem to have anywhere near the values that we had. Save till you could afford it, not put it on credit until credit is cut off. I see a waste of money at every turn. An expectation that the world owes them a living.
Funny thing is, they wake up at 45 and realize they have 20 years to put it right. Very sobering.

What was it that you quoted that you don't buy into ? To be clear, I'm not saying I'm responsible for my kids happiness, but their happiness is more important to me than my own, just like their health and safety is. I think all parents put their kids needs ahead of their own. By the looks of this article though, it sounds like the author feels that parents should be more selfish and teach their kids to be such? I'm not sure that is something I'd want to pass on to my kids. They are the world to me, and should feel love and safety from me at all times. If that is raising entitled, useless humans, then I'm happy to say I'm contributing to that trend.

[Glacier]

The most important person in my family was my Grandma. She died last week though.

[Barney Google]

The most important person in my family was my Grandma. She died last week though.

My sincerest condolences Glacier...

[Glacier]

We are happy that she blessed us with 94 years. She leaves a huge hole to fill.

[mexi cali]

The most important person in my family was my Grandma. She died last week though.

Condolences.

[ferri]

Sorry Glacier.