Do men want their wife to "Stay at Home"?

[Queen K]

A while back I asked if men today feel guilty to ask their partners to be "stay-at home wives."
I didnt' get a satisfactory answer from anyone about the idea that men may deeply want their wife to stay at home and just look after things, or rather, him and the home he's working to provide for both of them. That doesn't mean she doesnt' "do" anything to assist with the finances, she's managing those via on-line investments and coupon clipping and cooking from scratch.

I stole this from someones timeline, interesting that the trend is coming on with the young men. It it my wish that people can post here without being "corrected, attacked, shamed or otherwise discouraged to post." I hope that is not too much to ask.

http://www.intellectualtakeout.org/blog ... m-cave-men

[Gixxer]

Not me.

[jimmy4321]

No
I figure if i drop dead my life insurance will probably find some loophole not to payout.
Nice to know my wife would be self reliant and won't suffer a huge lifestyle change other than the obvious.

[Silverstarqueen]

First of all the article is confusing stay at home wives, with stay at home mothers. While couples do not have children, it is not difficult to agree that they both can/should work (as long as the little woman keeps the house and laundry nicely and serves dinner now and then). Many couples also agree that someone has to care for the kids, and most of the time, it isn't going to be dad. So it's either Grandma (or some suitable substitute), or the wife stays at home or cuts back her work schedule at least for a few years until the school (aka publicly funded daycare) takes over (clearly chosen by about half or more couples). Childcare costs in Canada are among the highest in the world, and not always accessible (financially and otherwise), so that determines quite often that the mother is going to be home at least for the younger years. It is easy to see why Canada has had a declining birth rate for years.
Percent of dual earner families in Canada from 65% in Alberta, to 74% in Quebec.

I have no idea what it has to do with "cave men", since the vast majority of men nowadays bear no resemblance to cave men.

[MAPearce]

We'd drive each other BATSCHITT crazy if she stayed at home and didn't work ....

Imagine me , of all people , coming home after a long hard day at work to find the trash already taken out , the recycling done , dinner on the stove and the kids all taken care of ? ..

I'd loose it ....................

[Grandan]

The number of options for women to work and have children is greater today than it was in the 70's and 80's when we were populating the neighbourhood. There were fewer options for women to work outside the home unless they were educated. Cashier or waitress were two options.
For us it did not make sense to farm out the kids and that was the main driver to have the wife stay home. I later years my wife worked outside the home while I did renovations and building, a kept man.

[Silverstarqueen]

We'd drive each other BATSCHITT crazy if she stayed at home and didn't work ....

Imagine me , of all people , coming home after a long hard day at work to find the trash already taken out , the recycling done , dinner on the stove and the kids all taken care of ? ..

I'd loose it ....................

Persistent Myth: Mothers who stay at home don't work.
If she stayed at home and didn't work then who would be doing all the household chores, cooking, shopping, and child care?

[MAPearce]

If she stayed at home and didn't work then who would be doing all the household chores, cooking, shopping, and child care?

That's my point AND another "persistent myth" ....

Who says men don't like cooking , cleaning and teaching children ????

Who says I like having no work to do at home ?? I have more to offer than just throwing steel around all day .

[Bsuds]

We are both retired but if Mrs S didn't do her quilting at the rec center and off to play bridge with her friends she would drive me crazy. Sorry but it's true. When she is gone I get much more done with less hassles.
We both share house duties but I think I do the bears share because I'm home more.

[MAPearce]

We are both retired but if Mrs S didn't do her quilting at the rec center and off to play bridge with her friends she would drive me crazy. Sorry but it's true. When she is gone I get much more done with less hassles.
We both share house duties but I think I do the bears share because I'm home more.

For us it's about having " Just ME " time and knowing that the house won't fall down if either of us isn't there ... There have been times that I've had to force the wife to go out with her friends just so she could unwind and I have "Just ME" time inside the home or with the kids ...

[alanjh595]

We are both retired but if Mrs S didn't do her quilting at the rec center and off to play bridge with her friends she would drive me crazy. Sorry but it's true. When she is gone I get much more done with less hassles.
We both share house duties but I think I do the bears share because I'm home more.

You know that you have reached that magic point in a marriage when you don't care where your wife goes, so long as you don't have to go with her.

[JayByrd]

My wife not working outside the home isn't a financial option for us. For a great many people it isn't.

But as for the concept of the stay at home wife/mother...if it's fulfilling for her, and we can make it work, I have no problem with it. But it isn't something I want her to do or wish she could do, either. I had a girlfriend years ago who said that's what she wanted...her parents did it for X years and it worked out just fine and she wanted to do the same. But even as a young, unmarried woman, she seemed to have a laundry list of reasons why she couldn't be out working. It was a red flag for me and one of the reasons why our relationship didn't last. But I don't think she's typical of women who are stay at home wives/mothers.

There are men who very much want that...they'll even marry women from cultures where that is the typical relationship model in order to get it.

[TylerM4]

My wife is at home. We made the choice together after the birth of our 2nd son. With the crazy high cost of daycare and by the time we considered taxes, cost of gas bringing kids to/from daycare and my wife commuting, etc - she was going to be working full time to add $500/month in additional household income. She didn't have a high paying job obviously, but was making well over minimum wage. If she'd have been making minimum wage we'd probably be loosing money or breaking even.

While the lost income sucks, it's really nice having her home. No more hassles of dealing with daycare and the extra commute, we raise our kids instead of someone else, stress levels are way down, and I get spoiled - she does most of the housework now.

My wife and I are both thankful that we have the ability to make it work. For some, that extra $500 isn't something they can give up. We essentially chose to sacrifice "things" (could own a nicer home with an extra $500/month to put toward a mortgage, we both own used basic vehicles, etc.) for quality of life and family time together.

I take issue in that article because it's focused on men wanting women to stay at home. Suspect that's intentional to drawn in the readers. I think if you ask these millenials they'll say they want "one of the parents" to stay at home, not the wife specifically. They're the least sexist generation yet, in their minds it's more of a logical decision vs a sexist one. Who's got the better personality/desire to stay home and who makes the higher income will drive that decision - not the gender.

[GordonH]

Have I missed the bare feet & pregnant crowd or are they still to come. Hey someone had to ask, it may as well be me. lol

[Lady tehMa]

I was a stay at home wife and for a short time, mom. Then circumstances forced me back to work. I would rather be that stay at home person. I miss it. I miss being able to do things on my own schedule, having the time and energy to have hobbies (I haven't touched my stained glass in YEARS) and get things done while other folks are at work.