Manners

[dirtybiker]

Students, at least at all the schools my kidlet has and does attend have a
"no hats" policy.
That goes for the parents also.
I've seen more than on entitled dood (parent?) cause a disturbance over being pinned out
by a helpful student notifying them of the policy.

Yet I've seen women (???) in pajama's, housecoats and slippers dragging their butts through the halls
with nary a word.

Go figure....Hahahahaha!

[normaM]

People are so " all about me" manners fall to the wayside. Not a generational issue - old people push in front of you, etc. It is when ppl walk ( re squeeze) in front of me without saying excuse me makes my teeth grind.
I imagine many things we call manners are based on old customs, or fears. ( like saying bless you if someone sneezes, altho if they do it more than twice prolly a demon)

Good manners are free, and cost zero to practice.

As for people being too stressed to display manners - pretty sure they used good manners when bombs were raining down in England.

Besides good manners have a trickle down effect making being around people ( including fam) a bit nicer.

[Grandan]

https://emilypost.com/advice/hats-off-hat-etiquette-for-everyone/

The Who-What-When-Where of the Hat

Hats aren’t the essential article of clothing they once were but are still worn by both sexes for fashion and for function. Knowing when to remove a hat is as important as wearing the right hat for the occasion. If you were a medieval knight who failed to remove his helmet or lift his visor and identify himself the consequences could be fatal. Throughout history hats identified social standing and removing a hat was a gesture of respect. In the “old days,” men took off their hats in Christian churches, when they entered someone’s home when greeting a boss, and always in the presence of a lady. Ladies were entirely exempt from “hat rules,” wearing them whenever and where ever they wished. While some of these customs are now historical footnotes, even in today’s casual culture men and women still remove their hats as a sign of respect. Cancer patients are exempt from hat rules. They may keep their hats or caps on at all times if they wish.

There is more on the page, that's just the intro.

Still no "why" though. Sign of respect... but why is that respectful?

The hat throughout history has been used to protect one's head from the sun and rain. The hat was used while outside working in the fields or forest. Once you have worn your hat all day in the heat for a few years the hat is sweat stained and covered in dust and debris. To then turn around and wear that hat to the dinner table means that everyone else needs to look at and smell that disgusting rag on your head.
It is a sign of respect that you remove your shoes upon entering someones home so that you did not track the filth from the forest or fields into the house and leave the good woman with more to clean up than she should, vacuum cleaners have only been around for the last 100 years or so. It has not been many years since automatic clothes washers and dryers were widely available in most homes. Hats have not always been so widely available to the extent they can be picked up practically for free and can be tossed in the washer because the synthetic fabric does not shrink or distort.
Outerwear such as coats, aprons and overalls have long been used to keep the inner clothing clean because any clothes washing had to be done by hand on a scrub board.
My wife describes how she and her siblings were required to remove their shoes after school and then run around the farm in bare feet after school and you did not wear your good school clothes to play in either.
There is good reason to question the "norms" that were prevalent in the previous generation because things have indeed changed in dramatic ways. When the "lesson" is delivered with the hand that worked in the fields all day or cut wood with an axe you were sure to feel it and "learn" real quick. That message has been handed down but without the accompanying smack and therefore was not "learned" as well.
It is true that much of what we know and practice is based on fallacy because the reason for doing some things has gone away. Our roads and sidewalks are paved, we arrive home with our feet barely touching the earth because our carriages have
delivered us virtually door to door.
So if you want to be the goof in the restaurant who feels it is his duty to break the norm, have at 'er, no doubt your victory will not go unnoticed.

[mexi cali]

Still no "why" though. Sign of respect... but why is that respectful?

It is steeped in Catholicism and Christianity. Taking ones hat off at the table was a sign of respect for God, pointing your unadorned head (where halos go) toward God showed your mettle.

Also, hats were a practical implement for centuries. Worn outdoors, they protected from heat and rain etc. etc. but inside, they serve no functional purpose.

As for the respect part, toward others anyhow, it is symbol of showing your true face, nothing to hide toward others and specifically people of import in your life. Basically the reason we shake hands. Nothing to fear from me.

Incidentally, women who wear sports hats are expected to remove them in the same places as men and for the same reasons. It is only when wearing a hat of significance that they may be worn wherever.

[alanjh595]

There are many different reasons for removing your hat.

Since Medieval Times, it has been a sign of respect to take off your hat. It started when people removed their hat when entering a church to show their respect for God. Men then started to take their hats off when they went indoors, when they passed or spoke to a woman or when something or someone deserved respect or honour (e.g. a war hero or a flag). These days, people still literally take their hat off when they admire someone or something but it is also used as an expression – if someone respects something you have done, they might say “I take my hat off to you”, even if they are not even wearing a hat!

The military hat is actually referred to as a "cover," and it is never called a hat. There are specific military cover etiquette that applies to various situations, indoors, outdoors, when being saluted, when at a funeral and when flying in military aircraft. If you are in the military it is crucial that you follow these etiquette procedures regarding your cover. Etiquette in the military is not just a guideline but an act of respect to those around you and to the military in general.

Is a Turban considered a hat ?
http://www.mashupamericans.com/issues/i ... der-there/

How about a Yamaka ?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kippah

[fvkasm2x]

So if you want to be the goof in the restaurant who feels it is his duty to break the norm, have at 'er, no doubt your victory will not go unnoticed.

lol

It just baffles me how multiple people have to resort to insults for literally no reason, in a thread about manners.

It's quite astounding.

99% of your post is constructive and informative. Why debase it with a completely unneeded insult?

[strongarm242]

Why has the phrase "no worries" or "no problem" replaced proper phrases like "you're welcome" or "my pleasure"? You thank someone for serving you and the common reply now is "no problem". I should hope it's not a problem, that's what you're being paid to do. Is it just me or does this fall into the manners category?

[Fancy]

Why has the phrase "no worries" or "no problem" replaced proper phrases like "you're welcome" or "my pleasure"? You thank someone for serving you and the common reply now is "no problem". I should hope it's not a problem, that's what you're being paid to do. Is it just me or does this fall into the manners category?

I'll say no worries if someone says "sorry". But then I'm of the generation that used to say "groovy".

[Verum]

For those who think that shop workers are less polite, maybe read through some of these to get an idea of the kind of cretins they are dealing with today (it's funny):
https://notalwaysright.com/top250/

[Fancy]

Think you lost what the topic was - just plain manners.

[fvkasm2x]

Why has the phrase "no worries" or "no problem" replaced proper phrases like "you're welcome" or "my pleasure"? You thank someone for serving you and the common reply now is "no problem". I should hope it's not a problem, that's what you're being paid to do. Is it just me or does this fall into the manners category?

Interesting question.

Perhaps it's a matter of slang or colloquialism?

Do you feel the same way if it's said between "normal" people and not just employees?

[Grandan]

Why has the phrase "no worries" or "no problem" replaced proper phrases like "you're welcome" or "my pleasure"? You thank someone for serving you and the common reply now is "no problem". I should hope it's not a problem, that's what you're being paid to do. Is it just me or does this fall into the manners category?

Movies like Crocodile Dundee popularized the phrase "no worries". "No problem" is of course the equivalent so is redundant, so whoever is delivering this duo is making sure that they mean no offence and are not at all inconvenienced.

[Glacier]

Manners have to be taught. Everyone has bad manners until they learn good manners.

Also, what constitutes good manners changes somewhat over time, so this makes it seem like the younger generation lacks manners when they're just as rude as your generation was at that age.

“The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”

― Socrates

[metallica]

I think I got my manners from my mom. Respect your elders, if I come to a door and someone, anyone is behind I hold it open for them. If I am at a Grocery store and someone has a lot less than me I let them go ahead. If an elderly person needs a hand to load their groceries I will ask to help. If they say thanks great if not no big deal. Mom taught me this and I feel good inside, and no body is going to change that.

[Old Sailor]

I think I got my manners from my mom. Respect your elders, if I come to a door and someone, anyone is behind I hold it open for them. If I am at a Grocery store and someone has a lot less than me I let them go ahead. If an elderly person needs a hand to load their groceries I will ask to help. If they say thanks great if not no big deal. Mom taught me this and I feel good inside, and no body is going to change that.