There’s no Future for me

[zookeeper]

Of all the people that could reach out to Mr. Stevenson I genuinely hope that one of them will be the one to help him fill out the paperwork, for a start.

Upon a death, for the inquiry, I went through years of paperwork, the begging, the pleading, form after form, the proof (legitimate medical papers), it was heartbreaking to learn of the bureaucracy. The very system put into place to assist and protect those who cannot for whatever reason help themselves is actually failing them.

Don't hide in the closet Mr. Stevenson, thank you for speaking out. Maybe that is your future, to find an advocate for yourself and others, and in your lifetime maybe you can be part of the fight for change.

Either some have it so good or suffer in silence, I hope your voice is heard.

[normaM]

hmm, well in July same named person was on a rant about masks - and it wasn't very nice saying that he then hoped it would be the maskless person dies from Covid.
Good Castanet reached out, hope he gets the help he wants

[Even Steven]

He writes a lot to Castanet, seems like it's an outlet for him

https://www.castanet.net/search-news/?q=John+Stevenson

May be he can join us here, make some friends.

[youjustcomplain]

hmm, well in July same named person was on a rant about masks - and it wasn't very nice saying that he then hoped it would be the maskless person dies from Covid.
Good Castanet reached out, hope he gets the help he wants

I value all life. As humans though, we are able to communicate our wishes to people and we're aware of mental health issues. With other animals, not nearly as much is known.

When a human is seeing the world as a place they no longer want to live in, does that indicate a mental health issue?

I suspect for most of us, we value our lives and can't imagine why we would cut it short, intentionally. But for some, do we need them to be labeled as "depressed" or suffering from some mental health disorder for them to wish this?

My stance on this is that we are free right? I would hope that means we should be free to end our lives. putting the legality of Medically assisted suicide, out of the conversation for a minute, what if it was you? What if you felt normal, but your family had distanced you, and you no longer felt you had friends. Nobody that you feel would miss you at all and you saw no reason to go on just surviving life. Should society label you and hospitalize you? Should you be arrested under the mental health act?

I'm not suggesting that I think this guy should end his life. Not my place at all to say. But this is more about the way society deals with people who are looking at the end of their life. Why do we feel its our place to prevent it? Why is ok for us to push our thoughts on the matter onto them? Why should they have to accept it?

I'm also well aware that if one of my kids, at present or as adults, ever felt this way, I wouldn't want them to die. I realize it's a very complicated situation. As for the writer of the letter to Castanet, I feel a tremendous amount of empathy for what he's going through, though I don't understand it as I'm not there and never have been; hopefully never will be.

[wolfsales]

https://www.castanet.net/edition/news-story--10-.htm

Many people are suffering in silence like Mr. Stevenson. While I do commend him for his bravery on speaking openly about the subject, I am disgusted that Castanet would post something this serious and personal on their website. To protect Mr. Stevenson from possible hateful commentary or backlash, the least you could of done was withhold his name. Shame on you Castanet.
Absolute garbage media!

Hi. I am the John Stevenson. When i write letters like this i never use my real last name. Castanet messaged me before posting that letter to make sure i was ok. Castanet sees my last name because when i signed up with castanet i used my last name. The editor of letters to the editor allowed me to use a fake last name to protect me from friends and people i may know.
I am grateful for castanet to post that cry for help because i have received some help and direction, even though times are still tough.
Please don't be disgusted with castanet for helping me.

John S.

[Thebrewhouse]

https://www.castanet.net/edition/news-story--10-.htm

Many people are suffering in silence like Mr. Stevenson. While I do commend him for his bravery on speaking openly about the subject, I am disgusted that Castanet would post something this serious and personal on their website. To protect Mr. Stevenson from possible hateful commentary or backlash, the least you could of done was withhold his name. Shame on you Castanet.
Absolute garbage media!

Hi. I am the John Stevenson. When i write letters like this i never use my real last name. Castanet messaged me before posting that letter to make sure i was ok. Castanet sees my last name because when i signed up with castanet i used my last name. The editor of letters to the editor allowed me to use a fake last name to protect me from friends and people i may know.
I am grateful for castanet to post that cry for help because i have received some help and direction, even though times are still tough.
Please don't be disgusted with castanet for helping me.

John S.

I am glad to hear that Castanet reached out to you and provided an alias to protect your identity.
I am glad you have received some direction and i can understand that there will be many grey and sad days ahead, but know there will be good days as well.
My biggest worry for you John was your safety and future well being. The world can be a nasty place and in tough difficult times people can hold that against you later. I have lost jobs, friends, and family relationships because I was open and honest about my PTSD and depression. I truly hope that you find happiness and peace, even if temporary and find more joys then sorrows in the future.

[wolfsales]

Thank you.

It's sad how people treat people who have PTSD. Obviously i have it too but only after i wasn't able to work anymore because of other health reasons.

Today is my first time in forums and i will now probably check it daily, something else to pass time ;)

PTSD also needs a to be a good topic to letters to the editor where more people will read it. People usually mark PTSD as a return home from war disease and It's not. People need to know there are all different types of PTSD. I think It's people give you a bad time at work because you are open and honest. Stay open and honest about your PTSD and the right job for you will come along.
People fresh out of prison get jobs so why is PTSD so hard?ng other than my PTSD or ending my life. Some days it works sometimes it doesn't. While i game i usually stream and people watch through the stream. Like most people with PTSD i hide it on my stream and listen to other peoples problems. I tell jokes and yes sometimes i talk about my PTSD and what caused it.

Because i turned into a loner the ps4 ( PlayStation 4 ) has helped me talk about my issues. When i first was told i had PTSD i was shocked. I was told the more i talk about it the easier life will get. Nope not true but still hopeful. I was told i should join a PTSD group. . . No thank you. I deal with enough daily issues i don't need to listen to someone possibly worse off than me.
I want to learn how to live with PTSD.
We need to be open about our PTSD because if you hide it and are liking the job you have and one day your boss finds out that would be a dismissal.
I don't understand people hiring, you got the skills for that job and it shows it on your resume so why don't bosses give people with PTSD a chance? All jobs can fire you / let you go before 3 months are up so why not try you out for those 3 months and during the 3 months decide if the PTSD effects the job or not.

Be honest about having PTSD. More people need to talk about having PTSD as well.
Being my 1st day in forums i don't know if there is a PTSD section. If there Isn't one should be started.

John S.

[Thebrewhouse]

I would feel free to start one.. to make sure you can ask one of the moderators in here if that is ok. I don’t know all the rules, so it’s best to check with one of them..

[Catsumi]

Yes, send request to

[email protected]

[my5cents]

I don't know wolf....

Your letters to Castanet were touching. Don't take my word for it. Just count the number of nattering keyboard warriors, that showed their emotional side. I know you haven't likely read many Castanet Forum discussions, but generally we don't agree on which day it is.

I know it wasn't your goal, but the way you opened up and spoke from the heart brought us together, that alone is not a small feat. (just ask a moderator !)

Unfortunately, and as usual, we got off on a bit of a tangent. We really didn't discuss depression we discussed if Castanet should have printed your name. We do that a lot (get off topic).

We all get sad, a loss of a loved one, be that a human or animal, loss of this or that. But sadness goes away with time.

Depression is a whole different thing. It needs professional help along with home work. By help, I don't mean that it's like going in for an operation, where you have no control, you are in the hands of a guy/gal with a knife and you hope they know what they are doing.

"Help" as in assisting you in you resolving the problem, not prescribing a pill and getting on with it.

Not all professionals are suited to every individual. Sometimes the right one comes along right at the start sometimes it takes a bit of trial and error.

Not easy when you are holding on by a figurative thread.

The key is believing. Believing you can and will get well.

Look forward to reading future post from you on one of your passions.

[mexi cali]

We all get sad, a loss of a loved one, be that a human or animal, loss of this or that. But sadness goes away with time.

I disagree. It never goes away; the best you can hope for is that eventually, you learn to live with it.

[alanjh595]

We all get sad, a loss of a loved one, be that a human or animal, loss of this or that. But sadness goes away with time.

I disagree. It never goes away; the best you can hope for is that eventually, you learn to live with it.

OR.......that the periods of time become longer between remembering than those of what have been lost or experienced.

For example; I have seen things in my teens, that have bothered me throughout my life. Horrible things, children dying or having their brains pouring out through their ear. Young people, in their early 20s, with their eyeballs laying on their cheek in a horrible car wreck.

It has been many decades since these things have happened, but something like "this topic" brings all those memories back like they happened yesterday, and not over years of real time, but over hours. All of those memories are still there, and it doesn't take much to unlock that box and set them free again.

The human mind is a very strange and curious thing.

[my5cents]

I disagree. It never goes away; the best you can hope for is that eventually, you learn to live with it.

I don't disagree with you mexi, I guess what I was trying to say is the sadness that overshadows everything you do is replaced with a melancholy sadness that occurs when the loss comes to mind, which as time passes, is less frequent.

[wolfsales]

Hi.
I really appreciate all the kind words and concern.

2000 is when it all started going downhill.
Lost my dad to cancer, my bar boss best long time friend to cancer, my mom December 27th 10 miles north of Merritt and a good friend here to a heart attack. All 4 of those deaths were within 6 months.
New year eve was my last night of drinking, a promise to my mom. January 1st 2001 i quit cold turkey. From 2000 to 8 years ago i had a fantastic landlady. I rented the basement in her house and would sit with her for hours talking. This wonderful lady helped me get past the loss of those 4 people closest to me. I was able to work, able to sleep without night terrors and get on with my life. Yes still remembering my lost loved ones. If i had a bad dream the following morning i would go talk with her and she would ask what it was about and i would tell her the best i could remember.
One morning i went upstairs and she saw in my face i had a night terror, she got her coffee and we sat on the porch and talked. She asked what my night terror was about and i remember having a tough time telling her. We talked for a few minutes and i said " my bad dream was i came upstairs and found you dead " she said wow and talked with me until i was better. All this help from one fantastic landlady without drugs and just by talking.
8 years ago she pushed the intercom asking me to go upstairs. She wanted pizza and asked if i would go get it, i said ok and left. It was at a pizza place i liked talking with the owner while the pizza was being made. Including the drive i would be gone about 45 minutes. I went home, left my pizza downstairs and went upstairs. She was on her knees looking under the couch. I asked if she lost something? No reply so i said it again louder with no reply, i looked down at my feet and saw a bunch of papers saying attention John and knew she was dead. I went to her as fast as i could and she was cold as i felt a few places for a pulse. I called 911 and was told what to do. The operater said an ambulance was almost there and i should unlock the front door to let them in, i was in shock and don't remember a lot of what happened next. They were unable to revive her :(

This very special lady helped me through my through time with just words. I would like to find someone like her again.
Unfortunately because of what she did i relive that day everyday and the loss of 2000 / 2001 is all back.

Some of my nightmares now are that landlady is alive and telling me she faked her death.

Since then i have been to a lot of specialists and had different doctors giving me different medications, none of witch i am still taking. I believe if one special lady helped me through my rough time there has to be someone else instead of taking a medication.

My life hasn't been the same in 8 years now. I attempted suicide and now just sit on my couch all day eating mostly junkfood waiting for death to take me.

John S.

[LANDM]

Why not take the medication which was prescribed to you?