Parenting advice

Social, economic and environmental issues in our ever-changing world.
mbfarm131
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Re: Parenting advice

Post by mbfarm131 »

TylerM4 wrote:Another question for you guys: Would you tell them prior to them turning 18? Or keep them under impression that they're going to need to work very hard to get themselves established just like everyone else in the family.


Personally, I think telling them early on would be a mistake. Kids need to learn who they are through struggle and achievement. They need to feel the satisfaction of personal achievement. They need to organically grow their self confidence and learn to have trust in their own abilities. Having the notion of a constant safety net runs the risk of making impressionable children lazy and apathetic, character traits that, once ingrained, can be lifelong. I would make sure they get jobs as soon as they're able to and learn how difficult it can be to make a dollar and how little a dollar can be stretched these days. Personally, I think society is in for a rough go in the near future, you're fortunate that your kids will have a head start in this potentially turbulent upcoming socioeconomic climate, now you are saddled with the very heavy responsibility of raising kids who won't be ruined by a sudden injection of money.

I heard somewhere once, "a quick way to kill someone is to give them a lot of money". I think there is a lot of truth in that statement. I have a half sister who was 18 when her mom died, the life insurance policy payed out a ton. She tossed around the idea of buying property and/or a really good apartment in downtown Vancouver. If she had have, she could easiliy have been a millionaire by now. Unfortunately, she decided she would travel around and live the good life for 15 years, not having a care in the world. Money ran out. She's now an alcoholic, maybe a drug addict and every time I see her, she asks me for money. She came into something she wasn't mature enough to handle and it absolutely destroyed her.

Make no mistake, you have a huge responsibility on your hands with this. The way you handle it could make the difference between it being the best or the worst thing that ever happened to your family. Doesn't seem like you're taking it lightly, so you've started this journey on the right track. Good luck.
TylerM4
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Re: Parenting advice

Post by TylerM4 »

stuphoto wrote:After working my butt off for most of my life and helping make several people very rich I discovered that Hard Work isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Smart Workers are different. They can work hard when needed yet know when to say No I Won't Do That to their employers.
They may get fired more than most people in the beginning however this will lead to a better job in the future.
Plus their bodies won't be worn out by the time they are 40.


So true. They shouldn't need to go through the struggles their own parents did and family members did. Working full time at McDonalds while attending school full time and also attempting to maintain some semblance of a social life darn near killed me and I feel I missed a lot of my prime young carefree years as a result. I don't want my children to have to go through that, but I do want to enstill the appreciation for hard work and money that comes from it.

My nightmare is having them turn into broke, unskilled, and lazy people at 30 years old who feel that a minimum wage job is beneath them.
TylerM4
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Re: Parenting advice

Post by TylerM4 »

mbfarm131 wrote:Personally, I think telling them early on would be a mistake. Kids need to learn who they are through struggle and achievement....


Thanks so much for your post. I think you've summarized my thoughts and concerns beautifully and I really appreciate your support. The story of your 1/2 sister is a great example of exactly my concern about what could happen. Something that should have been a great benefit to them turns into something that would have best not happened at all.
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oneh2obabe
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Re: Parenting advice

Post by oneh2obabe »

In the case of minors receiving a monetary bequest without a trust being setup, it's up to the executor to see that the inheritance is handled in accordance with provincial laws.

Minors and Inheritances
Generally, the law does not allow minors to directly receive inheritances. An estate executor has a responsibility to distribute a minor's inheritance to a person or entity called a fiduciary. A fiduciary acts in the child's best financial interests by managing the inheritance. An executor has a responsibility to convey the inheritance to the child's fiduciary as soon as court fees and estate bills paid and proper probate notices are made. An executor must also list all property he has transferred to the fiduciary on an accounting form filed with the probate court.

Conservator
A will that bequeaths an inheritance to a minor usually appoints a conservator to hold the child's assets until he reaches adulthood. A conservator is one type of fiduciary used to manage a child's property. The executor has a responsibility to turn over the child's inheritance to the minor's conservator for safekeeping and investment planning. An executor further has a responsibility to fully cooperate with the conservator in completing the child's inheritance transfers.
Dance as if no one's watching, sing as if no one's listening, and live everyday as if it were your last.

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
TylerM4
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Re: Parenting advice

Post by TylerM4 »

Thanks oneh2obabe

Yes, that's our understanding as well. In this case, the executor and conservator will be the same person so that should make things a little easier.

Our understanding is that without a trust established, the conservator will be required to give all funds to the minor when he/she becomes legal age (18) and that a trust cannot be established after the fact. Basically "It it wasn't stated otherwise in the will, they get it all at 18".
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oneh2obabe
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Re: Parenting advice

Post by oneh2obabe »

The age of majority in BC is 19 - best to check with the lawyer handling the will to see if the executor/fiduciary has to maintain funds until then.

At age 19, your child is legally an adult and entitled to receive the balance of his/her trust funds unless exceptional circumstances apply such as the source of funds (i.e., will or court document) specifies the funds are to be released at an age after 19.
Dance as if no one's watching, sing as if no one's listening, and live everyday as if it were your last.

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
TylerM4
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Joined: Feb 27th, 2014, 3:22 pm

Re: Parenting advice

Post by TylerM4 »

oneh2obabe wrote:The age of majority in BC is 19 - best to check with the lawyer handling the will to see if the executor/fiduciary has to maintain funds until then.

At age 19, your child is legally an adult and entitled to receive the balance of his/her trust funds unless exceptional circumstances apply such as the source of funds (i.e., will or court document) specifies the funds are to be released at an age after 19.



Well, 19 is better than 18 at least. We're early in the process but will certainly ask when the time comes. Thank-you.

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