An Honest Obituary

[Glacier]

With the death in my family earlier this month, I've been thinking a lot of death. It's the first time someone this close to me has died, so I'm really noticing how people respond.

His widow is happy she can do what she wants now. so on the day of his death went out to the art gallery. She also said that she can now watch the TV channels she wants. He wasn't a terrible husband, she's just the most practical woman I've ever known, so looks for the benefits of whatever life gives her.

My new goal in life is that when I kick the bucket my wife is going to be upset and miserable because I made her life so much better. haha.

Anyway, this is really quite brutal (don't be this guy who even makes his children happy he's dead)...

https://www.castanet.net/news/Penticton ... dad#447743

[Bsuds]

I don't think the funeral home should have taken down her eulogy. It's how she felt about her Dad and it seems like he deserved it.

Having lost my Mother and a Son within a short time it does make you reflect on your life as well as theirs.

[Urban Cowboy]

I tend to belong to the "if you've got nothing good to say, zip it" group of people.

This "daughter" has zero clue as to what "taking the high ground" means, and should simply shut her yap.

[Fancy]

I tend to belong to the "if you've got nothing good to say, zip it" group of people.

This "daughter" has zero clue as to what "taking the high ground" means, and should simply shut her yap.

That was my first thought - who knows what others may have thought of her dad over the years but certainly there will be an opinion about her now.

[TylerM4]

I can see why the funeral home removed it. I think it's a shame, but it does reflect on them and has the potential to cause customers to bring their business somewhere else.

As to whether it's appropriate or not. I'm up in the air. The dude is dead, it's not going to harm him in any way. If it was therapeutic for her then why not? And is there not an element of warning for others? Act like a jerk your whole life and people will spit on your grave?

So I guess I'm on the side of "It's not hurting anyone, let her do it if she wants". Caveat to that is that I think it must be approved by the rest of the immediate family. You're not just speaking on your own behalf when publishing an obituary.

[Babba_not_Gump]

If we can extol the virtues of someone when they've gone, then why can't we criticism them?

Some people, parents, are horrible, they are downright wicked. If they have made someone suffer then if making your feeling known makes you feel better after a life of hell, then go for it.

BTW, the funeral home wouldn't accept it, so why not publish it online in a news outlet? It'll stay on line for a couple of years.

[Urban Cowboy]

I can see why the funeral home removed it. I think it's a shame, but it does reflect on them and has the potential to cause customers to bring their business somewhere else.

Or it might bring them more business, now that they've demonstrated, they have a code for what's acceptable as well as what isn't, and they are willing to stick to it.

I think most would agree, that an obituary isn't the place to be airing dirty laundry. The deceased paid for their sins the moment they died.

The bible also has a passage that says, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.

I agree with Fancy, that people will remember this woman for what she did, and not necessarily in a good way.

[the truth]

If we can extol the virtues of someone when they've gone, then why can't we criticism them?

Some people, parents, are horrible, they are downright wicked. If they have made someone suffer then if making your feeling known makes you feel better after a life of hell, then go for it.

BTW, the funeral home wouldn't accept it, so why not publish it online in a news outlet? It'll stay on line for a couple of years.

agree 100%

[Iamme]

I was blessed with two loving parents. Having worked in MH&SU for many years, processing FOI’s, transcribing Psychiatric notes etc, I was heartbroken for those who didn’t or had horrible life experiences. My heart goes out to them and if it helps them, I see no problem with expressing their thoughts. That’s just my opinion.

[Rejigger]

REVAMPED and ready for print:

I announce the passing of [John Doe] at the age of 74.

After suffering multiple strokes - one leaving him unable to speak - much to the relief of all who knew him, the absentee father/husband/brother/son will finally be laid to rest.

Due to an expected lack of attendees, there will be no service.

Special thank you to the staff at the Penticton Regional Hospital for their obvious immense patience, the residents and staff at Sunshine Ridge for their support toward his family at this time, and karma for doing what she does best (albeit sometimes a little slower than should be).

Oh yeah, most importantly there's an opening at Sunshine Ridge Seniors Community, beetches!!!

~

[Fancy]

Much better.

[the truth]

REVAMPED and ready for print:

I announce the passing of [John Doe] at the age of 74.

After suffering multiple strokes - one leaving him unable to speak - much to the relief of all who knew him, the absentee father/husband/brother/son will finally be laid to rest.

Due to an expected lack of attendees, there will be no service.

Special thank you to the staff at the Penticton Regional Hospital for their obvious immense patience, the residents and staff at Sunshine Ridge for their support toward his family at this time, and karma for doing what she does best (albeit sometimes a little slower than should be).

Oh yeah, most importantly there's an opening at Sunshine Ridge Seniors Community, beetches!!!

~

why sugar coat or even lie about it ? why make someone sound a lot better than they were ?
both of my parents are now gone
Fact -my father was useless and I have never missed him a day since he was gone
My mother is now also gone she was the best mother ever
i miss her every day
i love you mommy- hope we meet again in another life
love forever, you son

[Catsumi]

^^^ same for me with dad. Mom, not really.

I wrote her obit, put aside my true feelings and then wrote it as if I was an outsider. Topped up her amazing abilities in sewing, gardening, and making do, her thoroughness and thriftiness, her toughness in adversity.

I put aside my personal feelings and did my best for mom’s obit. That I did not ever feel connected to her in an emotional, loving way, could not be detected by the the listeners.

As it should be, imo

[Babba_not_Gump]

I lost my brother to suicide couple of years ago. A very domineering woman got her claws into him, got him to leave all his possessions to her, left out his kids then drove him crazy.
I posted an obit for my brother in her local paper, with very subtle remarks directed at her.

It was the least I could do for him.